My life with addiction

Thank you for your words the other day

Keep it real dear Dan

X

Thanks for enlightening us on step 8 Dan, very tough but necessary to move forwards, and it is doable (she says) :))

Have a good gambling free day.

Suzanne xxx

​Thankyou ladies,

​Untreated my past is destined to become my future. So I continue to follow my recovery plan. There is no end date, no graduation day for me as an addict. I have a disease that is both life threatening and lifelong. I accept this openly and am able to live perfectly happily with the knowledge that it is inside me because I have been given a solution on how to medicate and manage it. I'm able to live in harmony with it because I acknowledge it's existence and do not pretend or attempt to deny its presence. I see the relapse rates on here and to a slightly lesser degree in GA rooms and the vast majority all follow the same common thread. That is that the symptoms had gone and they believed they were in control over an uncontrollable part of themselves. Until you can accept that you will never be able to gamble in a safe manner ever again then I'm afraid in my experience your future is bleak. When I say accept, I don't mean admit. These to states of mind are two very different things. I hear the hardest part is admitting you have a problem, nonsense its as plain as the nose on your face you have a problem. Accepting it and then taking proper fully committed action to arrest & manage your illness long-term are the hardest part. Which is what the relapse rates are clearly showing. People on here daily admitting they have a problem and stopping. Not so many accepting what is required and staying stopped.

​My heart sinks everytime I read a post where the author says, I cant tell my partner as if they are trying to protect them. Lets be honest protecting your partner has no part in it your protecting both you and your desire to continue gambling.

​My heart sinks everytime I hear someone post they wont put barriers in because they are strong enough to use willpower alone.

​My heart sinks everytime I hear someone dismiss GA or counselling because it all seems a bit to much effort.

​Why should these things sadden me, well because I was that person. A very sick man. Trying to manage my addiction with the one persons thought processes who got me into this mess in the first place. It really doesn't make any sense to rely upon someone (yourself) being capable of steering you in the right direction. I was completely incapable of making a rational choice over my addiction and how to manage it. I'm fairly certain you are all the same, again the relapse rates confirm this.

​So what's the best way forward? Accept defeat. Surrender any notions you have about doing this your way. Surrender the management of your addiction to someone else.

​95-97% of you will continue to do it your own way believing you are different/special, stronger. 95-97% of you will fail as has always been the way. Perhaps it time to try a new way of thinking! Acceptance of your truth is the only thing that will set you free.

​One Breath

​One Step

​One Day At A Time

There's an advert on the tv at the moment that always reminds me of peoples attitudes to tackling their addiction. It's for sensodene toothpaste. So the dentist is in his office and tells the story of how people come to see him saying their sensitivity has come back. He asks them are you still using your sensitive toothpaste, they reply No. He then pulls a face as if to say go figure! If something works, keep using it even when your immediate symptoms begin to go.

Have just returned from an awesome GA meeting where a very good friend of mine received his 1year medallion. When asked what his experience of that year had been, he gave one of the best answers as to why GA works

​I have ever heard. He told us how he went to his doctor and said he was in a hole he didn't know how to get out of. The doctor said here are some pills to help you get out of the hole, but he still found himself in it. He went to a counsellor and said I'm in a hole and don't know how to get out. The counsellor asked him why he was in the hole and to come back next week and they could talk some more about how to get out of it. But he still found himself in the hole. He came to GA and said he was in a hole and didn't know how to get out. Someone from GA jumped in the hole beside him and said I will show you the way to get out I have been here before and know the way out.

Dan

Fella I hope you enjoy your son's birthday as much as I shall enjoy mine fella.

It's driving lessons for ours , for me a gift with foundations for which he will develop his life's dreams, Greater in the knowledge that I am no longer stifling them through my own selfish actions.

Warmest regards fella, GA really is an enlightening place is it not.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

This is the complete story my friend was relating to us last night. Its called An Addict Fell In A Hole.

​ An addict fell in a hole and couldn't get out. A businessman went by and the addict called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to buy himself a ladder. But the addict could not buy a ladder in this hole he was in. A doctor walked by. The addict said. Help me I can't get out. The doctor gave him some pills and said, take these it will relieve the pain. The addict said, thanks but when the pills ran out he was still in the hole. A psychiatrist rode by and heard the addicts cries for help. He stopped and asked. How did you get get there? Were you born there? Did your parents put you there? Tell me about yourself, it will alleviate your sense of loneliness. So the addict talked with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week. The addict thanked him, but he was still in the hole. A priest came by. The addict called for help. The priest gave him a bible and said, I will say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the addict. The addict was very grateful, he read the bible, but he was still stuck in the hole. A recovering addict happened to be passing by. The addict cried out, hey can you help me I'm stuck in this hole. Right away the recovering addict jumped down in the hole with him. The addict said, what are you doing now we are both stuck here. But the recovering addict said. Calm down. It's ok. I've been here before. I know how to get out.

​

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What a great post and thought prevoker

Just dropping by with a Happy Birthday for your little man 🙂

So spent some time over the weekend getting down in the hole with some addicts. Their reaction is one I'm sadly familiar with. It's f***f what do you know about getting out of my hole. It's much harder for me than it is for you. I will do it my way thankyou very much even though my way has never worked before. You can only help people out of their personal holes when they are prepared to surrender their escape plan over to something /someone else's management. It won't matter if they try harder or are stronger. They just have to accept defeat. To find some humility over the clear facts that they don't know the way out . That their addiction thrives in their arrogance that they know best. I will return to their hole whenever I hear their cries for help again. It will be deeper because their way has always made it so. I will jump in their with them and try to show them the way out again. You can only hope one day they listen.​

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Very reassuring that last but one post Dan, makes one feel warm and not alone.

Was just about to look for your thread and you popped up at the top lol.

Thanks for caring and enquiring, am pleased to say NGTR lol.

I feel like I am in ,Iimbo land land at this time, don't know why, it's like I am waiting for something to happen/ change, (well I am I guess)

Haven't emailed you yet,as I am not sure what I want to say, (if that makes sense) because it is not gambling related, but then I guess, if we don't vent and reach out, it can so easily become gambling related too.

I have your phone number now, thank you, you are a wonderful full caring person, and you deserve every bit of happiness you receive

now.

It is so reassuring to know I am not on my own, with folks like you, Steve, Duncs, Sandra, ODDAT, Cheryl and Ade, there for me away from the forum if need be, and you all individually help me in different ways.as do the folks on the forum.

Thanks for being :))))) lol:)))))

Suzanne xxx

Ooh er misses. You might want to rephrase that last line Suzanne ;-)lol x

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Lol lol,Dan, dippy me 00))

Will change it now, blushing and laughing at the same time.

xxxxx

One step one breath one day and one word at a time lol.

xxxx

Hi Dan , thanks for the reply , Yeah ! your absolutely right , I didn't see it that way before ?. Some great posts by the way , keep up the with the input.

Off to do some painting now , oh , deep joy !!!

Regards Alan