My life with addiction

A shame in what way? You accuse me of foisting my opinion on folk then say i dont spread it around. Which is it? My knowledge comes from experience of trying every option available. Have you ever tried directly telling someone they are doing it wrong? Never turns out well. So i post it on my own diary, where it can be taken on board or thrown away.

It's a shame that you don't speak to people directly , instead of just posting a quote or some , at times really useful knowledge in a lump on your diary . It's about individual contact sometimes rather than a surmon on the mount ! And yes I have told some people I don't think they are doing what helps them but usually as I'm engaging with that person on a one to one basis it comes across as it was intended , in my opinion of course .

I speak with people directly everyday of my life. One to one, eye to eye, human to human in the real world not in cyber space where i can just walk away if anything real is asked of me. If you believe im a preacher you always have the option of not attending the sermon & as i clearly ruffle your feathers & lets remember its not me coming onto your page telling you how to behave & what you should do, then perhaps that would be the best way forward.

Yeah that's fine Dan , it's just a shame that I'm not the only one in the congregation , can't say you really do anything to my feathers I just looked on it more as a debate about conflicting ideas but you obviously feel quite defensive about it maybe your " addictive mind " egh ? One good thing to come shining through though Is that really , you do care ! You take of yourself my friend , I'm sure we'll talk again but untill then I'll send you a big High 5 ! Regards. .... Alan

Sigh, hope the last dig made you feel better

Much better thanks , you deserve a pat on the back for noticing ! LOL ! Take care now .

Dan ☺

I'm still trying to imagine you smiling lol (send me a pic of that mug will ya 😉 )..cause im getting a imagine from big bad furry wolf to awesome supermodel with Colgate smile all over :-)))))

Thank you for being you. You simply humbled me. I am stubborn person. I am more wrong than right in my journey. Still... i think you can see past my imperfections. Not many has the ability of this & not all has to strive for this either.

...d**n...i have a lot to say but cannot express myself! You can breathe now lol...

Aha..let's brighten the day a little..ya know GC leaving comment for me yesterday...o*g! would be nice if i could understand the high terms they were using 😀 ...jeezzz..mr google comes handy sometimes and i will go round it shortly to inspect the "meaning" behind every word...i guess i just expect everyone talking "street talk" lol
....shhhhhhh...don't tell them.i have no scooby do what they on about 😉

You stay safe brave man..look after you and yours

S x

Afternoon all.

I have given a great deal of thought to what has been written on this thread over the past couple of days, from it I was drawn back to the days when I believed that my own version of recovery was the only version and everyone should follow that method or they would have to live with the consequences of not doing so.I would seek out diaries that used other methods and lambast the thoughts as wrong.I believe that today I understand that there are many methods to get to the end goal and equally with this forum there are many folk in all the stages of recovery. In being offended by any methods other than my own I would have a detrimental effect on other folks recovery,I would defend and take sides,for me the outcome would be evident that we would all race around another roundabout unable to move on.I have learnt another valuable lesson,one that the honourable Smiler implored me to take.that is that lessons are often found in places where we refuse to see they could exist.today I am thankful for the therapy this thread gifts.abstain and maintain

duncs stepping forward never back.

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day@atime wrote: [quote=andy14]

I don't get it, you challenged someone's ideas, something no-one has a right to do IMO, and they, rightly, reacted.

Challenging someone's ideas is not helping or giving advice, which is surely why we're all here?

I didnt challenge anyones personal beliefs Andy. I went on no ones diary & told them they were wrong. I went on no ones diary & told them to think a certain way. I challenged a concept. Thought thats why we were all here to challenge the way we think about addiction & compulsive gambling. Was it not our own way of thinking that got us into this mess in the first place?

Some of your comments DO challenge forum members, and some it seems (admin included by all accounts) see that as a provocation attempt looking for a retort.

Challenging members serves no purpose, state your opinion and move along, no one is right or wrong in here, what works for one, or some, may not work for all.

You may claim to have tried everything and have an opinion on methods, but it is detrimental IMO to try and force opinions on anyone, particularly a compulsive gambler.

I wish you, and everyone else, well in your recovery.

If this post is classed as blowing smoke up someone's ar.se, then I'm guilty as charged...

I very rarely watch the news, it depresses me. So as soon as it comes on, I use the remote control and switch it over. Pretty simple really! So if a particular thread P**s.es someone off, well dont read! Simples again. .

Now this post is more for me, as guilty in the past and will be probably guilty in the future....

I sometimes wish I was still unique.....

Hi, Dan,

Your input is always welcome on the Other Side, there's less of it thee days?

I've been reading up on co-dependency, oh, dear!! Definitely too much information.

Take care,

CW

Hi CW. If you havnt already check out the CoDa website. Addicts as you know are very manipulative & emotionally abusing. In the same way physical abusers will pick their partners. So do emotional abusers/addicts. That said you as the codependent in a relationship have the ability to change as does the addict. You know where i am if i can help x

Until you heal the wounds of your past. You are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, with work, s*x & cigarettes.
But eventually it will ooze through & make a nasty stain on your life.

You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past...the memories & make peace with them.

Iyana Vanzant

I hear people say the past is in the past & the present is what is important today.
Yes this is true & I am grateful for today & the beauty in my life as it is now, but...until the past no longer haunts me & triggers painful memories & feelings I have not & can not be expected to have come to terms with yet, I will continue to react rather than respond until I can truely forgive myself & my part in the damage I have done & caused myself & others.
I will allow myself this grace & continue along my path without judgement of myself for this, slowly the load will lighten. I will feel it lighten as I deal with & fall in love with the past I carry.... Yes my past is in the past but without true acceptance it hurts & effects what is in my present moment, hindering me from truely enjoying what I experience today

Good afternoon Dan , and before you go running for cover thinking " Oh s***t " He's back again , stay calm .

I've been sitting with uncomfortable thoughts last night and again this morning after reading Dunc's post on your diary yesterday so maybe its him you should be thanking if anyone because of what I'm about to say .

I don't like feeling this way anymore and anger, resentment and avoidance really have no place in my life now , jeez , I've had enough of those feelings in my years gambling , Dunc's comments about being stuck on a roundabout and not moving forward struck a nerve with me , that and thinking about my old mum and what she would have said to me , a wise woman who had lived through many things and wise with knowledge she had gained along the way ( so thanks mum ).

I'm not going to apologise because of my views as they are dear to me and seem to serve me well in my ongoing recovery but I will apologise for not being more acceptable of your's , we both have different ways of dealing with our recovery , you have proved to yourself and others through your continuing abstinance, that clearly yours works for you and I can only hope that in a few years I'm looking back thinking that mine worked in the same way and only time will tell if I'm right .

I call you the preacher and that is a way of being taught that I've never liked , so maybe thats the reason I take exception more than I really should , I as you know prefer the pat on the back well done , high 5 , LOL approach that doesn't seem to go down too well with you but thats just me and if it helps others and works for me , then I'm not about to change it any day soon .

The one thing I have learned on here is about havig the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change , so maybe there's hope for me yet egh ? .

You have such a vast knowledge on the subject of addiction , gained through many years of abstinance and for that I take my hat off to you, yet sometimes it comes across as a bit overwhelming and inpersonal posted with no particular recipient in mind but maybe that is my addictive mind just playing with me again ? Lol ! ( nearly left the LOL out then but thought , " what the hell").

It was at this point that I was going to say that I wouldn't post to you again but that all seems a bit silly to be honest as were all on here together and fighting against our enemy together , however we choose to defeat it , so no doubt our paths will cross again Dan but I'll just be more mindfull of your'e feelings and opinion's in future .

There's no reply needed but if you do , please don't send me a massive sermon as in my world a simple ok and a High 5 will suffice !.

Take care and I'm still glad to be walking the same road with you and going in the same direction , even if were a few feet apart at times .

Regards Alan