My life with addiction

Thanks for taking time to input on my post. Your post of 7th Feb 2015 is probably where I am now but that video you posted is exactly my journey over the last year. I've had enough.

Thanks for sharing this Dan,

Watched it in the morning with one eye open (call it a wake up call) & what hit me was last 10 seconds of the video..the pure reality of how "the game" ends.

Simple - educational - realistic video.

Thanks

S x

Thank you for sharing Dan. Some traumatic experience of your life.
V glad you have gifted yourself life you can be proud of and claim peace every single day.

S x

Morning Dan,

Many thanks for your words of advice earlier. Much appreciated and some things to consider

Best wishes

Hello Dan,

Thank you very much for the post. You're very kind person to support me after all i have said to you in the past.

12 steps has deep meaning for me.
Let me tell you one story, not sure how boring it will get but hand on my heart - it's pure true.

My cousin has a son. He is in his early 20's now. He got in trouble at the age of 16 to the point where his Dad disowned him. It was all sorts troubles, drugs, stealing, leaving home for weeks...unmanageable teenager. Ive seen how it affected my cousin and his sister (sister is 18now)...it got to the point where gangsters came looking for him at his parents house for the "fine" he owned them...parents paid around 10k cause was v scared...their house got burglared soon after also...parents thought it's to do with their son..Anyway, he has gone AWOL. for over a year...then he come bk home, they took him bk but his Dad still was v cross with him..my cousin asked my sister for help & so he came to UK..He didn't last here long. I remember meeting him so i can tk him round my sisters for a bday party. He wasn't himself when we met & told me somebody stole his passport...
He hanged around for another month b4 going AWOL again..Nobody knew where he was! My cousin went to see physic who read the cards on the death of loved one...they all knew who she is on about..they even ordered a service at church to pray for his soul...my cousin and her daugher was in pieces. I never seen woman age so quick..
..but, god knows how but he appeared bk home....but...so so different. He didn't want to stay at house, he was ever so calm and honest. He seemed awaken..he seemed at peace.
I am not sure how the place is called but he stays there, he lives there and he only leads his life by 12 steps. My cousin is astonished! She cannot believe this miracle..she is alive again and her daughter has straightened up immediately, goes to see him when she can, visits towns and so on..she picked up her last year at school with flying colours (the stress previously took it's tool on her and studies) & she is on exchange program having an awesome time in China while i type now ☺
My cousin still doesn't know what happened. She thinks it's miracle. Her son was reborn and she is so so proud of him!
I am not sure what "addiction" he treats by those 12 steps to live. Do you have to be addicted to follow them? I only heard of them in AA and obvs GA...but i truly don't think he was deep in either of these.

Can you just live them through cause you lost hope and when it seems that world gave up on you? Can you apply them just like that, to follow the new path in life to find your soul again?

All i know...he is in the best place ever.. i also don't think it's religious place he is staying but i truly know he follows 12 steps as it was all i heard from my cousin who was beaming ear to ear when i visited her this year on holiday.

12 steps has meaning for me. Never think i just discard them like that.

Anyway, I'm here and a lot calmer than last night.

Thank you for listening.

Ps. I do think his Dad is on the road to forgiving him also ☺

S x

Well, where's the cake & bubbly? There's cocktails over @ Janulka's or are you waiting for your £10 gift voucher from the research to come through before you put your hand in your pocket?

3500 days may mean nothing to you Dan but have a cyber pat on the back from me, if not for that, for all the tireless support you have shown me & countless others throughout your journey 🙂

Woop Woop !! Now that's really got to annoy you Dan :)) .

Can just imagine you sitting there thinking , " Bloo.dy Cakes Champagne and him with his WoopWoop's turning up and spoiling my Diary ? .

Sorry Dan but you can't let that amount of day's pass without some sort of recognition , so a Big "High Five "from me and some deep respect coming out to you :))

Best wishes Alan

I was going to say I hate it when I miss a party, but then I remembered there wasn't one! Party or not, 3501 is a hugely inspiring number. Thanks for making me think x

Sending out a high to you Dan. tri x

I'd usually say high 5. But I'm giving out big tens for a monumental achievement and a salute to you sir
And kisses

Nice one Dan

Missed the party? :-/

We can celebrate with cup of tea soon enough ☺.

Keep doing what you doing Dan, it's working!

S x

Thanks for replies, Dan. You are appreciated on the f&f. What remains of it.

You mentioned last year that you had been similar, I gathered that you also hadn't embraced Steps and sponsor on your first day. How long did it take?

I am finding once again that his issues are my problem to resolve because I could do it so much better...am in danger of going right back to square one.

Congrats to you on the milestone along your journey.

BW,

CW

The First Step asks us to admit two things: one, that we are powerless over our addiction; and two, that our lives have become unmanageable. Actually, we would be hard pressed to admit one and not the other. Our unmanageability is the outward evidence of our powerlessness. There are two general types of unmanageability: outward unmanageability, the kind that can be seen by others; and inner, or personal, unmanageability.

Outward unmanageability is often identified by such things as arrests, job losses, and family problems. Some of our members have been incarcerated. Some have never been able to sustain any kind of relationship for more than a few months. Some of us have been cut off from our families, asked never again to contact them. Inner or personal unmanageability is often identified by unhealthy or untrue belief Systems about ourselves, the world we live in, and the people in our lives. We may believe we're worthless. We may believe that the world revolves around us -not just that it should, but that it does. We may believe that it isn't really our job to take care of ourselves; someone else should do that. We may believe that the responsibilities the average person takes on as a matter of course are just too large a burden for us to bear. We may over or under react to events in our lives. Emotional volatility is often one of the most obvious ways in which we can identify personal unmanageability.

What does unmanageability mean to me?

Personally, I have come to the understanding that I currently & honestly believe that to me "Unmanageability" to me means that something is; difficult/impossible to manage, doesn't/won't/can't submit to discipline, Unable to keep something/someone under control/within limits, boldly resists, doesn't obey/comply to authority or an opposing force (rules/boundaries), not tractable; difficult to manage or mold; "an intractable disposition"; "intractable pain", difficult to solve or alleviate; "uncontrollable pain" .... cumbersome, inconvenient, unwieldy, demanding, awkward, bulky, clunky (informal) & difficult to handle!

Our lives may be unmanageable in a few areas or in many areas. They may be slightly unmanageable in some areas and totally unmanageable in others. But they will be unmanageable. Unmanageability caused by addiction take many forms. It can include physical, spiritual, and mental problems; financial and legal problems; family and social problems. The problems may have been obvious to others or known only to us, but they were in one form or another. The longer I am in recovery, the more I realize how unmanageable my life had become. By accepting my powerlessness and unmanageability, I accept that I can not recover alone. I need help. That help, the Big Book tells me in the Second Step, will come from a Power greater than myself. My unmanageability lays the basis of my willingness to open and keep myself open to a Power greater than myself and to recovery. Use of the plural pronoun in the First Step, "We admitted," emphasizes that we are not alone and that we do not work our recovery program alone. The first word in the First Step makes that point clear.

I am guilty of having a little fun before it got patched as my profile picture says.
Love you to