So my gambling addiction came from a night out with work friends, we were out in town, I was driving us as I don't drink, one of my friends said to park in the casino because its free parking (I'd never been to one before...) I had to sign up which I did, I got free drinks and as I was walking out I put a fiver on blackjack, ended up winning xxx which overed my night.
Next day I went into a bookies for the first time with a friend who again wanted to place a bet, whilst he was in the queue I put £20 in the machine and played the roulette game.
I quit work and spent around 18hrs a day in a casino, my knees would ache from the pain, then I would go in each bookies one at a time.
Fast forward 8 years and £100,000 later I am in recovery (no help)
A friend boasted about winning xxx on gambling on facebook with a screenshot on Weds last week, and weirdly w*********l had emailed me.
I did a 30 day ban but not a lifetime ban like on the other sites.
I logged in put £250 in and cashed out £1000 a few hours later.
Thursday the next day I logged in again, added £200 lost, then £400 lost then £600 lost, then £800 lost, then £800 again lost then £1000 and lost.
I sobbed on the floor until my gf came home.
It's tuesday and I've not slept since, I can't buy christmas presents, the money I spent was for a new car I can't get.
I have severe mental health issues with OCD, BPD, GAD, Panic Disorder and Insomnia.
I have now added a 30 day ban on the website.
Problem is I didn't have anyone there to pull me out, I was trapped in the matrix home alone.
And this lockdown hasn't helped, every other advert is a gambling one!
If I didn't win that xxxx I would have probably cut my losses at the £200 but its because I won I thought I could do it again and get a nicer car.
Anyway, thanks for listening!
Hello Dan
Welcome to GamCare Forum - it is good to see you here. I am sorry to hear of your relapse and struggles today. Please feel free to contact an Adviser on 0800 8020 133 or using our Live Chat option www.gamcare.org.uk. We can offer you support and advice 24/7 along with referring you for Treatment with one of our Practitioners.
Thanking you for your very powerful post. Please continue sharing your experience, strength and hope Dan.
Best
Amanda
Forum Admin
Morning Dan,
Like you I have lost 100k in 5 years through Sports betting, Roulette & Blackjack. I have had many relapses in my time & I always think “ I just wish I had stopped a few years ago” then I wouldn’t be in the financial mess I am in today.
I literally came within 1 bet of losing everything good in my life, my family, my home & my job & does GA really deserve to steal us of those precious things?.......NO!!
However I am 52 days gamble free today & life is getting back to some kind of normality.
I WANT TO QUIT THIS TIME, AND I WILL QUIT THIS TIME!
We can’t let this illness ruin our lives, you have to act now whilst you still have a chance to beat this, before it beats us!
With dedication & determination we can beat this, but we have to have the correct frame of mind to want to defeat it. We need to put in 100% of our fight to beat it & then each day is a step closer to that better place.
Dedication, discipline & determination.
The urge is simply almost irresistable when you are in the mood.... I lost 1k last night and to worsen the situation, the money isn't even mine...
i wish i can just stop right now
Hi Dreaded and welcome to the forum.
You have made an important step in the right direction by joining up.
Please make this your rock bottom moment as it only gets far worse if you continue. Please tell your girlfriend and anyone close that you trust. Make them all lifetime bans...30 days is simply your addiction talking. Its nowhere near long enough!
You dont need gambling in your life and the fact is you dont need to be hanging around with "friends" who you follow around as they place a bet.
I note with interest that you mention people there who could pull you out mid session. The addiction is beyond all that. When you started you didnt care about people being there as an alarm bell....its only afterwards when you are searching for explanations.
There is no control. Gambling produces endorphins and dopamine which is like a natural morphine in the body...Yes our own bodies produce strong soothing and uplifting chemicals...even felt a surge of love, excitement or deep serenity ...its the same thing really very powerful chemicals which hit the mind and form pleasure paths with neurons in the brain
Gambling is highly addictive and it happens quickly when we dont realise how much its taking over. We start as recreation to try and see but like me , you were highly vulnerable to how it works on you.
The money was never enough and thats why they give free drinks. Its natural to think theres more where that came from especially when their systems drip feed your drug.
Please keep talking it through. Its NOT set up as an income scheme for you. Its exactly the opposite...its and income scheme for them based on the punters they carefully calculate they can get in.
Its not even a fair challenge and all the risk is with you. You are playing against millions of pounds in a mitigated risk fund. They know they will bleed you dry quickly...not being offensive but they dont care about a thousand quid as its all stained with misery of other punters.
Thats nothing to them but a lot of money to me...see how the pressure is nowhere near equal?....you know all this deep down anyway!
They would worry if you matched them in a real gamble...their super yacht against yours but thats never going to happen as they dont really gamble their money and would refuse the bet
They bank on you coming back and making rash decisions...thats when they have you and they know how addictive it is.
Reach out for help! You can change by doing the cold turkey process known as the recovery journey.
You dont need gambling any more...its killing you!
Abstention and recovery strength will save your life...its that serious!
Keep talking about it and asking questions. Being gamble free is a wonderful feeling and you will reach the peace of mind to know you can never be complacent again.
Best wishes from everyone on the forum
Thanks guys for the reply...
The urge to rebet and win back my losses is very high at the moment...
Luckily I have the self ban so the £100 in my account is safe, but I know I would lose it anyway
Hello Dan,
It's good that you are still posting and sharing about your urges to chase your losses. It's also good that you have set a 30 day cooling off period on the gambling site. How would you feel about setting some stronger blocks such as signing up to Gamstop, which would bar you from all UK gambling sites for the period you choose? You could back this up with some blocking software and potentially ask your bank to block gambling transactions. Sometimes knowing that you can't gamble even if you want to, can help you cope with the urge to chase your losses.
If you'd like to find out more about these options, why not contact our Helpline on 0808 8020 133 or by Livechat?
Take care,
Deirdre
Forum Admin
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