My new diary by kyle the CG

Hi Kyle

Payday.... Love your discription of the fight thats due to take place come this friday..Can feel the determination in that post of yours...Love it..

Whilst reading it i could relate to so much of what you said, reckon we all can.

Payday has always been a huge stumbling block for me, had many, many slips, too many to count. But i never stood a chance..Why?.... Because i never had any solid blocks in place, i thought i could do it all on my own and so each month it was always the same result.. I blew the lot..

Put as many blocks in place as you possibly can to help..block the net casinos, exclude from local haunts, and as A.N.D said in reply to your intro dump the phone..

Sounds harsh, but the less outlets we have to gamble then the better chance we have of succeding in beating this.

You can do this, we are all willing you on to win this fight..

Lets all of us get our lives back..

Takecare, keep strong and roll on Friday

Hi Minogue 😉

Great first post, powerful and hits so many nails on the head, we try to stop ourselves in our heart of hearts but we know it will end up at nil and sometimes I was relieved so I couldn't sit there being pathetic.

Mentioning about the advice reminds me about when I used to play golf, I could see what everyone else is doing wrong except me.

I like giving tips on diaries but personally I know if I had money it may be a different story.

You know what you have to do on payday, this time you are giving it up for good.

Sorry to hear about your partner, gambling takes everything doesn't it 🙁

Stay strong and don't leave the site again 🙂

All the best,

Smokey x

Hello Kyle and wow, a superb introductory! quite a talent there putting your thoughts down in print and feel your going to be a fine asset to these diary's..

Gambling does well and truely take a hold and wrips everything we hold dear, sanity and partners. I can vouch for that, but hao ho we're here now and its our time hai! we can get angry at what its taken from us or even better lets put that behind and get pisxed of at the whole industry and the devastation it causes us....

Stick around and post...onwards

Thank you to all you guys posting on here. Your help and support is so appreciated. Your encouragement is amazing.

Well im still dying to get to my day 1. It seems to be creeping slowly towards the 19th. I have worked out that on payday after all payday loans have been repaid. All charges and bills go out and rent. I will be left with £365. Which is actually loads of money considering i normally survive on £100. Feeling very positive. Fast forward to payday december and as there wont be payday loans or charges i could have a great christmas.

I was thinking about my financial situation recently. I think the reason my debt has pretty much stayed the same in the last 5 or 6 years is that thankfully ive never had the access to credit. My rating has always been a joke and the one credit card i have is low limit. Thankfully i couldnt have taken out loans. I would probably be in a mortgage sized debt by now with no house to show for it.

That doesnt mean i still wasnt losing my whole wage 9 months out of 12 a year and thats huge in itself. But at least the conconalation for me is that i didnt add to it.

Money is just money though. Ive never really cared about it. Its replaceable. There is trillions of it all around you. If i was granted a wish that i could have something back. It would not be the thousands of pounds i lost. It would be the time. All the wasted hours spent gambling. Spending all day in a dirty smelly bookies with strangers. And later on countless hours hiding away when everyone else sleeps hunched over a laptop. Thousands of hours i want back. To enjoy my young life. To do all the fun and exciting things i should have done. To treat my friends and family how they should have been treated. To have a normal loving relationship. To not lose the one person i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. If i got all the money back...... i would still be 10x poorer for that. The money is the material thing. But the pain we feel is for the loss of our life

THE BIGGEST WIN YOU WILL EVER HAVE IS TO LEARN YOU WILL NEVER WIN

G'day Charlene,

What a superb blessing you couldn't get credit, no doubt you would of had loans and credit cards associated with gambling, 80% of cg's borrow from banks and friends or even steal until all supply is exhausted and rock bottom has been hit.

As you have stated gambling has really punished you with the loss of time and the love of your life, but in someway you needed some pain to shock you out of your cycle, so the real you can fight and say NO MORE.

Anyway I'm off to listen to Angry Anderson, Suddddddeeeeeennnlllyyyyyy every part of meeeeeee lol

love

Scott Robinson

Hello Kylie, 1 simple line....

THE BIGGEST WIN YOU WILL EVER HAVE IS TO LEARN YOU WILL NEVER WIN......

Install that deep into your skull!

time, x and money in the past now with the future mapped out a head of us gamble free.Stick with us and you will have a good xmas....Still a cool world out there, just need to rediscover it and learn.... onwards

Haha yeah thanx smokey and paul. Loving the neighbours reference. Never heard that before lol

Well yeah im loving that little mantra. Was posting on someone elses diary giving a bit of support and it just kind of came out .........

"the biggest win you will ever have, is to learn you will never win"

Im gonna try and remember that every day.

Well 48hrs to go till my hardearned money goes into my bank account. Its funny, i used to think of my account as a resting account for funds being transferred into the bookies. I imagine i might even get a letter from them asking why i didnt PAY them this month.

Good work boys

KRS,

Had a read of your intro - intense, upsetting and all too familiar! Congratulations on getting it all out and coming back for help.

Like you, logic went out the window for me the moment I set foot in the bookies, casino or in front of a computer screen. The bottom line is if we start, we can't stop. Self destruction is somehow programmed into us and we're not happy unless we lose the lot and are miserable when we eventually do.

Inject some happiness back into your life and keep saying NO - it's the simple things in life that make you smile 🙂

Stay strong, and stay here!

M

Hi Kyle

Firstly, well done on rejoining the site. I think that this time you will be ok. The number of posts that you make suggests to me that you are keen to beat this thing.

Just keep going and think how bad it will be to come on here and tell us all you have gambled? That is pretty good motivation.

Thanks a lot for the kinds words and supportive suggestions on my diary btw.

Keep it up

Regards

T+G

Thanx guys 😉

Well i feel like ive been here a month instead of just 3 days. I may have fooled myself into being complacent. Im splashing my advice about on peoples diaries like a clumsy painter. Had to remind myself ive still not reached day 1 yet. Friday is nearly here. Money goes into my account in about 29 hours. I played out a senario in my head earlier about me sitting down with a 20 pack of f**s a bottle of jack daniels and a big glass of ice. And of course 2000 bullets. The feeling that swept over me was intense. Even though i was only imagining it, i actually felt a buzz. I was warm and happy. I cant descibe it but you know that feeling when you have a big yawn and stretch. And u just feel so relaxed immediately after. I felt like my brain was sending out pleasure signals. In that few moments i actually justifified it to myself ....

Im fine now and have dealt with it but this is so powerful its like i have a split personality. I feel such a fraud at the moment untill i post on saturday telling you all im gamble free. So im just gonna concentrate on myself at the moment. I reread my story about my 1st gambling experience today. Found it on an old email. I forgot how emotional it was and ive been having a good cry. It has refocussed me though as it has reminded me what gambling has taken away from me.

I will keep posting on here what im up to, but i hope to talk to you all on saturday and tell you the good news.

Kyle

Charlene,

This post is especially for youuuuuuuuuu, I wanna let you know what i've been going throughhhhhhhh, and if dreams were wings you know, I would of flown to youuuuuuu lol

Good advice, concentrate on payday and then keep us updated, we'll be waiting.

Scott x

KRS,

Thanks for the post on my diary. All input is welcomed - 3 days or 3 years, we're all in the same boat so it's great to share, and any insight is appreciated.

Think of Payday as a day to treat yourself. Smokes, bottle of JD, wonderful - leave it at that and wake up feeling refreshed and empowered! Just guard against your inner self when booze is involved!

Keep up the fight - like the Waterboy, you can do it!

M

Kyle

I think you are being a bit hard on yourself regarding posting on other people's diaries. I don't believe it matters whether you are day1 or day 1000 because we all have stories to tell and experiences to share. Your post on my diary was really thought provoking and very gratefully received.

Bottom line is, look after yourself first. If posting on other people's diaries helps you then do it. I am sure that there isn't a single person on here who doesn't appreciate a word or two of encouragement.

You're doing really well. Just keep focussing on getting through the first few weeks and you will be fine.

Keep posting mate

T+G

Thanx t&g ur right. Whether is sound advice or just drivel. Everything does help so i will keep on sticking it down.

So i was thinking i would share with you guys my story of the 1st ever trip into a bookies and the effect it had on me on the rest of my life. I wrote this in jan 2008 and it was my therapy for giving up gambling back then. It worked too but all too soon i forgot about it. Im posting it on here because i want to share it with you all as it will hopefully remind me.

Its a true story. The events are exactly what happened to me. Of course ive flowered it up a bit with descriptions and stuff and hopefully made it entertaining. Please excuse spelling grammer etc as ive never properly edited it. Its 9 chapters so its not short. Your comments are most welcome. Its called SURE SHARP .............