My new diary by kyle the CG

Hi Kyle! Just wanted to say a quick hello and a massive massive thankyou for sharing your story... At work at the moment using my phone so will keep the reply short but am definately gonna read through this diary in full. I'm again on observing mode after writing my last entry here a few days ago promising myself I wouldn't gamble again... Only to gamble again a few minuyes after. Am also nursing a facial injury after smackin myself in the face for being a total tw@!!! Very best of luck mate.. You have inspired me to carry on trying. So glad you have told your parents.. Me, well... II'll ye

Sorry.. Message posted itself.. Flipping mobile internet! Will start my own diary in a few hours..Kind regards. Only1winnwr

Hi Kyle! Just wanted to say a quick hello and a massive massive thankyou for sharing your story... At work at the moment using my phone so will keep the reply short but am definately gonna read through this diary in full. I'm again on observing mode after writing my last entry here a few days ago promising myself I wouldn't gamble again... Only to gamble again a few minuyes after. Am also nursing a facial injury after smackin myself in the face for being a total tw@!!! Very best of luck mate.. You have inspired me to carry on trying. So glad you have told your parents.. Me, well... II'll ye

Hi Kyle, it's great to have you back. Although you had a slip, four big positives have come from it. Firstly, you stopped before it was all gone, you told your parents (which is a massive barrier to stop you in future), you have handed over the finances (again, another big barrier) and lastly, you had the nuts to come back here and front up. How did you gamble this time? Was it on the iPhone? If so, try and turn the iphone into something positive.....a means of posting and reading regularly on here, rather than an instrument of destruction! All the best russ

It takes alot of guts to put on here when you have slipped up but that proves what progress you have made. You admit it, deal with it & start again!

All the best

Well its Day 3.

Im feeling a lot better mainly due to all the support on here. I did think about gambling today, and then i got over it, which is great because i feel i controlled myself. Lack of control was definately my issue.

So ive been really examining my life and of course, have found that it is empty. Gambling filled a much needed part of my life which is another reason why its so hard to give up. So i have applied to a volunteering organisation to help out with various groups. I am waiting to hear about an interview. So i will update on my diary when i hear more. I think this will fill my spare time and give me a massive perspective on my life. Especially about how selfish i am and the hurt and pain i have caused. Im really nervous but i really want to go through with it.

Also im going to do more writing, a few short stories etc. I would rather the next time i spend 10 hours on a computer is writing and not gambling my life away.

I have a long week at work this week so that will keep me busy. I will try to be on here posting every day.

Thank you go everyone who has written on my diary. It really is appreciated.

Kyle

Hi Kyle,

I did reply to you my friend.

Robinson

Hi Kyle.

Don't beat yourself up too much for having a little slip. I think it's significant that you stopped before your pockets were empty. This shows that you're on the right lines.

You must explore the writing avenue as you have real talent in that department. Your SURE SHARP post was a really gripping ' short story ' style of narrative. There are publishers out there who pay money for this kind of thing and it would be a shame not to at least make some enquiries. I wouldn't worry about a few grammatical and spelling errors - there's spellcheck and proofreaders for that sort of thing.

Quite how you need to go about getting started is something I know nothing about but there must be people on here who can point you in the right direction. By getting involved in doing something like that you get a double benefit in that you occupy your mind, and at the same time as any person in debt will tell you, extra cash always comes in handy when the bills roll in.

A little success in this field and the effect on your self esteem will be worth a lot more than money too.

Sorry to read of your slip Kyle but its good to read of you bouncing straight back again 🙂 I loved your next number post....that's up there with we can't win cause we can't stop 🙂 keep it going we can do this 😉

Day 4 GAMBLE FREE

No serious thoughts but it is ever present. Still feel a bit sick at gambling drunk on friday. Christmas will be impacted as reduced funds and having to face parents. Loss of trust etc but .... Could be worse!

So was thinking about my gambling. Been reading posts and understanding about having big wins getting people hooked. Was racking my brains trying to think of my biggest win and it suddenly dawned on me. I have never had that BIG WIN. The most ive ever won is £2k. And ok im not saying thats not big to a lot of people, but considering i was losing 2k in a night, it didnt feel like a big win. More like breaking even.

So in conclusion...... Im a rubbish gambler! I mean really. Its not a skill i possess. I was genuinely cr@P at it. I never even played the odds. I just gave it away. Messmorised by flashing lights and spinning wheels. I should have just played the playstation. Its almost funny. Just proves to myself it was never the money. It wasnt an investment. Just me needing to do it, like taking a drug. To either feel the thrill or as i suspect is more likely, feel the pain. To ruin and punish myself. To destroy myself.

Well day 4 was easy really. I suspect the next few days and even first week will be easier as im still raw. But im prepared for the hard bit too.

The biggest win i will ever have is to learn i can never win

Kyle

Hi Kyle!

Just read your story, been promising to for days but only just got round to it. Been absolutely mesmerised by it... Please Kyle DO consider writing more. I'd pay to read your stories.

The best read in a long time...

Kyle, I genuinely wish you well in your recovery and indeed Everything you do.

Thanks also for contributing towards my diary mate.

catchya later mate

only1winner

Hiya mate, just a quick one to say thanks for the support. Try not to worry too much about the slip, it hapens. The main thing is that your back on here and still keen as ever. Keep your positive attitude and you'll be in the best position to beat this evil addiction.

Chin up mate,

Jimmy

DAY 5 GAMBLE FREE

Guys thankyou so much for the posts

Well its all going well so far. Im living off cash and no real urges. I have money sitting in account and waiting for bills to come out 26th. I kind of wish it would hurry up and go as its a potential temptation. Once its gone i can relax a lot more.

Feeling very confident though. Work is going well and getting lots of overtime so thats keeping me busy.

Hope your all well. Working on a few stories too so i may post soon to entertain you all lol

Well done on day 5 Kyle. You'll make it past Friday so week 1 under your belt!

Glad to hear you're doing more writing. Look forward to reading them.

Hope you're ok

Simon

Kyleeeeeeeeeeeee,

Thanks for the post, I did send it to that address and I resent it again, hopefully you will get it.

Congrats on Day 5.

Robinson :o)