My new diary by kyle the CG

Congrats on double figures Kyle!

Keep up the good work.

M

11 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Enjoy the snow!

Well done mate! keep it up...

Nearly went @r*e over ( o ) in the snow earlier...

Still eagerly waiting your new story... Lol

Catcha later mate

AJ only1winner

Hi Kyle,

I just read your intro on the new intro's section and I'm looking forward to reading your short story after this. By the way I'd like to thank AJ for recommending your diary!!

There are so many similarities we all have as CG's. We always tell ourselves it's the last time we'd do this, we just want to get our money back, but in the end even if we get to our goal we won't stop. I can't tell you how many times I have been in the same situation as you. I'm glad that you've come back to this site because it truly is a great support for all of us. I don't think anyone else could ever understand our situation besides each other.

I'm from Las Vegas, and temptation is everywhere I go. I also happen to work in a casino. I don't work in the industry but the stores I managed are located inside one. Everyday I come to work I'm surrounded by slot machines, blackjack and roulette tables. Any type of gambling you can think of, I'm 2 seconds away from them. So, it's really hard...but I'm determined because I'm tired of wasting my life to this addiction.

I'm looking forward to read your short stories. Keep it up!!! We can all beat this!! Talk to you soon...

Vegas

Hey Kyle!

Thanks for your posts on my diary.

Double figures without gambling huh? Brilliant start!! Stay strong and well on your guard mate.

When payday comes (19 days) be ready!

My very best wishes to you pal!

TC

13 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Well lucky im not superstitious!!!

Ok well ive been really busy with work and stuff so time has flown by. I was thinking that i havnt thought about gambling at all, but thats not actually true.

I have become so used to living as a gambler that everything i think of is connected to gambling in some way. Risk and reward. There is odds in everything i do. Percentages, fractions, accumulations. Numbers in everything. Tv volume is set at 33. A red 12 bus dosnt go to oxford street for me. Number 10 does not house the prime minister and the london eye is a big Zero. I watch football and subconsiously amend the odds according to what happens. I dont marvel at extra-ordanary events i read in the newspaper, i calculate what price i would have got had i guessed it the day before. I bet in my head which raindrop is first to reach the bottom of the window. I bet my life.

So technically i have been thinking of gambling as i have been so used to it. But when i acknowlede it and write it down, its no longer a subconsious thing i do. If i can recognise when im doing it, then i can stop it. Watching sport could be exciting for the thrill of it rather than how much i could have won. These numbers dont have to control my life. I dont have to watch x factor with the volume at 33. ( i dont have to watch it at all). I can get the bus to oxford street and get my xmas shopping. I can watch david cameron on the news outside his house. And i can still feel sick at the thought of riding the london eye (the price not vertigo). All of these things i can do because numbers dont control my life. They are not signs from unknown supernatural sources that i am going to win. I am risking my money and my life on a spin of chance. And 36 times out of 37 I WILL LOSE. I dont like those odds. I dont like them at all.

As i said. Im not superstitous. Im day 13 gamble free.

K

But you've stopped now Kyle so won't know what the next number will be and now it's the not caring part, well done, we can do this 😉

14 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

2 weeks reached. Feeling good. Sent my bank card to my mum so i cant even withdraw money on payday. I have another account with a cash card. She will then give me a budget each week and pay it into that. I feel like a child again. Its great!

Kyle

Wow mate! proper determined to beat this chit aren't you??? 😀

Good to hear that you've sent your bank card to your mum!

2 weeks free feels good for me also.. I reckon as time goes by it is getting easier. But... will not be dropping my guard and congratulating myself too much until 2 MONTHS free.

Keep it up mate.

AJ

only1winner

16 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Worked saturday nightshift. Earned more overtime. Didnt even think about gambling saturday. Now with total control given to my mum i cant see me gambling again. All the previous sites that have my card details are blocked or excluded. And i cant set up new ones as i dont know my card details. I get £50 a week paid into a card cash account to live on. So i have no access to funds. The only way i could now gamble is to walk into a bookie off the street. As i havnt done that for years im confident i wont. So thats all my barriers in place. Payday is 2 weeks away now and already i know my money is safe (unless my mother develops a gambling habit)

My goal is to reach 100 days gamble free. 3 paydays will have been paid by then. At which point i shd have lots of money left and im gonna buy myself something nice.

At the moment i feel great. I have no idea how im going to feel on payday though. Probably really stressed and aggrivated. It will be interesting.

Hi Kyle, well done...you are making great progress. If you don't have money, then you can't gamble.....it's as simple as that. Keep those barriers in place and never ever get complacent. Keep strong russ

19 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Not been on since sunday. But everything is good. My mum received my bank card today. She has pin number and access to my internet banking. So its all out of my hands now. I CANT GAMBLE. At the moment i have no gambling feelings and feel like i just wont have. But thats ridiculous as surely i will?

So its going to be very interesting on payday on 20th. 12 days to go. I will be 31 days gamble free by then, almost a third of the way to my target of 100 days gamble free. Im feeling really hopeful that ive done enough to beat this. It really is as simple as putting up the barriers and not having the ammunition. Im sure the real challenges lay in the future. Im keeping in mind the stories on here of people who srarted again after giving up for 6 months, 2 years or even 12 years.

I havnt been on other diaries for ages. I will catch up soon. Im just not in the right frame of mind to give advice or chat at the moment. Although i feel good, there is something tense about me. Something different i cant put my finger on. I will keep posting on here though and see how it goes.

Wishing everyone a gamble free week

24 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Its all out of my control anyway. I cudnt gamble even if i wanted to. Which i dont ..... I think

Feel a bit low really. Dont know how much more i can do. Im not using this site much, but i dont want to lose it.

How long does it last 6 months? A year? 10 years? At the point i get my finances back will i be cured. Is it time thats the healer. I dont know but i do feel that its not me personally thats winning this fight. Its because i have no opportunity to bet thats keeping me gamble free. While i cant get at money, it will grow nicely into thousands of pounds in savings. But eventually i will get my finances back. How will i know if im fixed?

Kyle,

Well done on making it this far!

Personally I don't think we'll ever be "cured". This is not an illness, it's an addiction and as such we'll always be in recovery. I've had multiple failed attempts at quitting and based on that I believe we've got to guard against this forever. Complacency gets us into trouble and whilst I feel your pain, wallowing in your own self pity will get you nowhere...

Life may seem pretty boring without the daily risk taking and lure of the big win, but put in perspective the biggest win you'll ever have is quitting for good. After all, there are only 2 types of CG, losers and liers - not the greatest way to be remembered.

YOU gave control of your finances to your family, YOU came clean about your problem, YOU came on here and confessed all - YOU are the one making a better life for yourself. I'd say YOU are the one winning the fight!

We can't do this on our own mate, and there is no shame in enlisting the help of others - remember you're never alone.

Warm regards,

M

Hey Kyle..

Hope everythings ok with you. Had to have a good rummage around to find your diary.

Hope you managed to do better than me.

Regards AJ