My new diary by kyle the CG

77 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Hi stuart. Thanks for your message. Your absolutely right about how everything feels different. I know i feel so different. I cant believe how anxious i felt all the time. And how easily i accepted losing so much money, paying so much interest and so many charges - and justifing them. Hundreds of pounds a month just in interest and charges. Not even counting actual gambling losses. The amazing thing is i would haggle over the price of a sandwich. Not go for a beer after work with colleagues or just not pay bills.

Now i have money available to buy everything i need and dont have to sweat when i check my account. Its so nice using an atm and not wondering and praying that money will come out. To know it is there and the security of knowing that gives me more confidence than ive had for many years.

Im eating healthily. Going to the gym. Socialising with friends. I was even able to help a friend out with some money (made me feel brilliant). Sticking at my weekly language course.

I wont say its all been fantastic. Had a wobble or two recently. Basically after a few too many drinks and going into automatic ive started to get the 'feelings' again. But then i suddely realise i have no access to my main account. I cant get the funds into a gambling account and ive blocked and self excluded from the ones i did. So it would take a monumental and deceitful effort and a fair bit of time for me to successfully gamble. Thankfully im a spur of the moment guy and i think ive done enough to guarentee im safe. Just in case though i think i will go 1 month not drinking. Should be easy ..... After what ive acheived

93 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Well i feel terrific. My life has changed out of all recognition. I have money to do things. Im healthier, going to a great gym. Past my first exam in my language course. Have NO DEBT. I have a couple of grand savings. Am waiting to find out about buying a house. Yes BUYING!

The turn around from 3 months of not gambling has been amazing. I am never going back to it. The thoughts and dreams have been getting more diluted to the point where i dont care about gambling. Ive had the odd urge in the last 93 days sure but i know i wont give in to it. What life has shown me in the last 3 months is too valuable to throw away on a stupid game.

Stuart i hope you are doing ok mate. Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot

99 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

I wouldnt even if i could;

Keep smiling 😉

100 days = kyle wins

102 DAYS GAMBLE FREE

Should i still be counting the days? I dont know, but i think i always will. It reminds me that im an addict unfortunately but ive accepted i always will be.

3 big fat paydays have come and gone without a single penny funding the gaming industry. Mainly because my mother has it under armed guard and i cant touch it. Still working out well having a small budget given to me every month.

Had an awful dream at wkend that i gambled and lost all my money. It felt so real that when i woke it took me a while to realise it was only a dream. Had to check my bank account. The relief made me cry. Quite frightening actually.

Still going to the gym and my language course. Keeping me busy. Looking to buy a flat in june everything going well. Its a million miles away from that day in november when i contemplated killing myself because i blew all my wages in just a few insane gambling hours, for the 50th time!

I hope i can stop counting one day. But for now its almost the end of 102 days without gambling. The longest i have gone for probably 10 years.

Hi Kyle...firstly I would like to thank the last person who posted on your diary as I would never have found it had it not been returned to the top of the recovery diary list! I have literally been addicted to reading you new members post and your recovery diary for the past 2 days and I'm probably going to get the sack for having done no work!!

Your experience is so like my own...online roulette followed by roulette on your phone. Playing at work, hiding in the toilet wondering how long you can get away with being there before someone realises your missing or people start thinking you have some serious bowel problems!!

You story about the first time in the bookies was magnificent...it conjured up all the emotions that I'm sure you were feeling at the time...you have a real gift there.

I hope you post again soon...am I hope when you do it's to tell us of the new flat you've bought and how amazing your life is now you're gamble free.

Hope to hear from you soon....Shorty xx

o*g!!!!!!

What a walk down memory lane. This is my 1st post for over 2 and a half years. BAck then I was 100+ days gamble free. Pleased to say Im gamble free

I kind of discovered this site by accident when i mistyped a google search. And boy what a read. I have just finished re reading all my posts and it brought it all back. I can actually see how positive i became in the end, which has had a significant impact on my life. And clearly see the signs before my early failures.

I will repost tomorrow and let you all know... anyone that remembers me from back then (I wrote a short story called SURE SHARP,based on my 1st experience of gambling, which I was flattered that so many people enjoyed) ... how I have been doing in the last few years. Its been mostly good. stopped counting the days.

I will be reading some posts over the next few days and am happy to support whoever I can. This site helped me so much. It can be done. Im just sorry I was away for so long.

BE POSITIVE. STAY STRONG. JUST BREATHE

Kyle x

'The biggest gambling win I will ever have, is to learn I can never win gambling'

I have started a new diary THE FINAL CHAPTER by Kyle the CG