My Recovery Dairy (Hope It Helps Some Of You)

Hi Just

Wanted to say a very well done on your first 30 gamble free days. That is a great start to your recovery.

Take care and continue what you are doing.

Feb.

Hi there and congratulations on 30 day's gamble free !

It's funny the way our mind works regarding money, you would think nothing of chucking away a couple of hundred gambling , yet something that we truly need we struggle to justify ?.

Also well done on saying no to the scratchcards , just think everytime you say no , you win !!!

Best wishes for a gamble free 2016 !

Thank you Feb and Alan for your kind and supportive words it keeps me strong... We Can't Win Because We Can't Stop! These are powerful truthful words to me x

Dean8008 wrote: Hi just want to be normal. Congratulations on your tally so far I enjoyed reading where you walked out with your head held high. I remember the day I did the same. All these years and it turns out we can say no to the urge in our brain. I will look forward to reading your future post's. Dean

Thank you Dean, and well done to u too on your 44 days! X

Day 31... not really done much today apart from play games with my little boy and watch his favourite film over and over lol... took my Xmas decs down and cleaned up, I like to keep busy as I find it helps me massively, wanted to clean the car aswell but was peeing it down so had to give it a miss... at teatime I decided to treat us all to a curry as couldn't be bothered to cook as feeling tired today for some reason, they don't deliver here so fetched it but also nipped in the shop around the corner from it for some milk, as I got to the till straight away the new scratch cards that have been released stood out to me, my weakness was always the new ones as I would think oh I'll just have a new one just because they are new ( like iv got a better chance or something!) but no I stopped looking at them and told myself I wouldn't stop at one I never do! and started looking at the reduced Xmas chocolates on the counter instead (which I treated myself to lol) then off I went out of the shop to pick my curry up... herayyy to another day without gambling... see u all tomorrow xx

Hi Just

Once again, well done and go you with your willpower!! Being a chocoholic myself, you have well made the correct choice there!

Take care and sleep peacefully.

Feb.

Hi just, Have you thought about counselling? Gamcare offers it. Give them a ring?

Day 32.. not really much to report today, as iv been out with my family all day shopping, and I never gamble when out with the family as my gambling is unknown to anyone apart from my best friend of many years... went for a lovely meal after shopping ( it's amazing how many meals out I can afford now)... got home around 7 then bath and bed for my kids, bath for me and now I'm sat watching the undateables that I recorded earlier...these days are getting so much easier! So please people stick to it and u will see what I mean... my target was 21 days and as iv way past that! my next target is 100 days, I like making targets for myself as it helps, giving u something to aim for.... keep strong people see u tomorrow x

Hi ya, thanks for dropping by...I couldn't agree with your decision more! This has to be a safe place to come for comfort or to blow off steam so you absolutely do not want it to ever feel like a chore! I've never really used my online diary much & I couldn't begin to tell you exactly what makes me post there...Rage usually I would guess?! I much prefer reading other diaries and contributing elsewhere although, at the start of my recovery, I used my pen & ink one properly. Everyone is different & you must do what feels right to you & if that means posting several (hundred in my case) times a day then go for it...Equally, if none feels right, that's your choice but I always say, don't be a stranger! Someone said it to me early on & I completely understand why now as it's very hard when people you follow just disappear.

Great work @ the till the other day...I am partial to a Galaxy Ripple (or seven) myself & have previously traded sins for chocolate @ the counter but my main poison was very much elsewhere so I doff my hat to you for having the strength when this was such a serious vice! You should be very proud & rightly so!

If the targets work, keep making them, but I would suggest some short terms ones too...Maybe worth considering some rewards when you reach them like a long hot soak in the bath (lock the family in a cupboard so they can't disturb you - remember to leave them water, you don't wanna get arrested) or a family sized bar of choclit (no sharing) 🙂

So good to see you here on the diaries...You are so right about having one, helping others!

You keep strong too - ODAAT

Hey ODAAT, thanks for getting back to me, yeah I feel I don't need to report every single day at the moment plus having attended a funeral today I don't really feel like posting my day, I'm gonna just right about my day when I feel the need, maybe when I get an urge to gamble, I too like reading other people's stories and commenting on theirs... a to the treats, I generally treat all my family to a meal out (I love food) u wouldn't believe it if u saw me as I'm slim but I do eat like a whale, lucky really... no urges to report today, here's to another gamble free day... keep strong every single one of u xx

Hey ODAAT, thanks for getting back to me, yeah I feel I don't need to report every single day at the moment plus having attended a funeral today I don't really feel like posting my day, I'm gonna just right about my day when I feel the need, maybe when I get an urge to gamble, I too like reading other people's stories and commenting on theirs... a to the treats, I generally treat all my family to a meal out (I love food) u wouldn't believe it if u saw me as I'm slim but I do eat like a whale, lucky really... no urges to report today, here's to another gamble free day... keep strong every single one of u xx

Hey everyone just a little update about my recovery.... well its now day 37! and im a little worried as for at least 5 days i havent thought once about gambling or even had any urges!, the saying that time is a healer really must be true, because as the days have passed by it has got easier and easier, so please everyone stick to it and you will see the results.

I,v also now realised, in my sane straight thinking mind, that alot of my gambling urges, were caused through the stress i put on myself to save each month, iv been alot more relax about money a lately and this has helped massively... iv also given my self a break from saving until april, when i will start saving for a holiday, so if any of you are like me about saving please give yourself a break! it works!... also the death of my father in law recently has also made me realise life is short, we need to live it! the best we can!.....

Keep strong all i will be back soon with any updates take care x

Great post & finally, good to see you taking the pressure off of yourself 🙂 Don't fear the days of no urges, enjoy them...So long as you don't get complacent, it's ok to be free from Mr Gamble's dulcet tones! I think a huge part of my recovery has been accepting I cannot go back to being responsible...I guess it's similar to the relief some people get when they finally run out of money! It's not even a 'forbidden fruit' for me now because I know what lies behind the false promises! Well done for identifying this trigger & stamping it out 🙂

I will be sure to look out for your updates! Keep strong - ODAAT

So an update for you all, its now day 39!, its been an interesting weekend, as a lot of you all probably know with being gamblers yourself, that on saturday was a rollover jackpot of £66 odd million pounds on the nat##nal lottery, iv never really bothered with the lottery to be honest, as i once heard that you have got more chance of having a heart attack than winning the lottery. Anyway i went to the shop with my brother on saturday afternoon who had at least 10 goes on it, and kept pestering me to have a go (just one £2 ticket he said whats it hurt!) obviously he hasnt got a clue im a CG! so to him he was confused in why i kept saying no i didnt want a go, anyway we came out of the shop and he said here iv bought you a ticket! i couldnt believe it i could have screamed at him why why why!!! anyway as any cg knows i obviously took the ticket from him and i felt so bad about myself and guilty!, i really didnt want it but i took it anyway! then sunday morning came and i forgot all about the ticket to be honest, which to me is a breakthrough in itself, but then later on in the day i remembered about it so obviously checked the numbers on line to see if i had won anything (obviously i didnt), the guilt i felt about him buying me this ticket even though id said no several times! has eaten at me so much, now im worried that i might start buying scratchcards again! iv not been to the shop since so i havent tested the theory yet, im gonna keep away from the shop for as long as possible (just in case) it has triggered anything...... to me i do not feel this is a set back, and do not feel that i have to start my days again as i didnt buy the ticket!!.... im just hoping it hasnt triggered the gambler in me again.... i will let u all know soon..... anyones thoughts on this would be much appreciated....

Keep strong people xx