My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

Morning Andy,

Just to echo what others have said that it's brilliant to see you back and giving recovery another shot. You were doing so well before and I was gutted for you when you were away from the site for that short time. You mentioned the pending pay day, I know it's stuff you have heard many times but just get whatever barriers in place you can they really do help.

Until then just follow the golden rule one day at a time and those days will mount up. It really is good to see you back mate and I wish you all the best as ever.

Flagg

Yo Andy ,

Should be 25 days today , unless my calculator is broken 🙂

You can do this Hun, but you know that .

Try not think bout pay day until then, live for today , maybe fish a little , it's such a lovely day ,

What ever you are doing hope you are ok, are your mum and dad still away ?

Shiny xxxxxx

Andy, a pleasure as always to see your posts, simply because you were there for me, right at the start and have been ther since. Keep it up my friend, and come payday enjoy the money in your bank not some bookies!

Stay strong mate and keep posting when you can

Steven

Hope ur ok wilsy

take care

Hi Everyone,

I have brought myself back onto the forum this afternoon to try again to give up gambling.

I feel pretty low right now as I have stupidly blown close to £1,200.00 since Friday night and have just £60.00 left.

Yet again I do it to myself I push myself to the brink of dispair.

It has taken me until now to come back ironically it always happens after our last pennies have gone.

I feel very stupid and scared as I don't want to admit what I have done to my family and girlfriend but I'm going to have too as I won't be able to get through the month.

So much to say but what can anybody say. I've just been a very, very stupid boy!!

I know I need to stop again, I know I mustn't give in to this problem of mine.

I am sorry everyone for leaving this website I ultimately knew it would end in disaster, I haven't saved a penny in months.

I've got no food in and have 31/2 weeks to go until I get paid. I have a C/C bill to pay on the 13th of October of £314.00 and I'm going to have to cancel the direct debit. On top of that I have desperately been looking for loans but know I mustn't apply for one.

I'm going to have to come clean and tell my girlfriend in the hope she can lend me some money to get out of this hole.

Feel sick, god why, why, why!!

Andy.

The doors of recovery revolve my friend, welcome back with always a tinge of sadness to see you have been at it again.

I am right in saying fella each time we do go back at it the stakes get raised and progressively worse.

One piece of advice the triangle, Time-Money-Location take one away and the punt impossible.

Results always the same 100% payrise.

Stay with your diary, you can do this, you have a choice.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Compulsive gambler No Bet today

Wilsy,

Sorry to hear about your recent worries but I am delighted to see you back on the forum posting. I really believe that you will conquer your problems and you know you will get the support you need on here. You know you can do this.

Tomso.

Hi Wilsy

Hey massive well done for comin on that takes some courage its the right thing to do though , myself had a mad moment a couple of weeks ago and blew hundred in bout an hour so take heart ur not alone the key for me was staying close to this site everyone does understand and no one judges u

It's made me think a lot more now and put as many blocks in place as possible it is a mental battle but I think when it's raw just do as much as u can , I know why I did it simply not facing up to my problems in life got a bit complacent then a day from hell arrived and nothin I could do the gambling demon got me caught me off guard

It is a minor set back but u know what it takes , I am sure everyone will be forgiving and it will be a weight lifted off u , accept the loss move on from it and start again

Together we can go on to live better lives

Take care and stay strong

Castle2

Yo,

Hi my lovely , good to see you back , mentioned you on a post just the other day .

You know what you need to do, dust yourself down .

Set up some road blocks , like Dunc said .

Start again, I am proud of you for coming back , I know you can do this , so believe in yourself and take it one day at a time .

Today it's raw , today is full of dread and the thought of having to come clean must seem soooooo daunting .

So my dear friend , I am willing you the strength , to do what you need to do , cause you know deep in your heart , it's your only true option .

Hugs and more hugs , keep posting , keep reading , keep supporting , it helped you last time .

Still looking forward to our redevous by the lake 🙂

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

DAY 1 DONE

Hi Duncan, Tomso, Castle and Shiny, the four people I hoped would send me a message of support have and I thank you all.

Duncan you are right mate I didn't take that triangle seriously enough, I always insisited I could look after my money and I can't, I have now agreed to hand my finances over to my girlfriend.

Pleased to be back in a way, time to cleanse myself again, I find it works best when skint.

Today has been a miserable day, I think the loses will make me feel like this for a while and working is unbearable but I will turn up because I need the money at the end of the month even though I am working on 50% charge.

Tomso and Castle thanks for your support also. Castle sorry for your own slip but it sounds like you did do something about it before it was too late. I will try to stay on this site from now on, it helped me for close to 91 days if I can remember so it and you will help me again.

Dusty, I hope you are doing well too and you mentioned me in one of your posts. God knows what you said but I'm sure it was nice.

On a lighter note my team Crystal Palace are playing well at the moment and I am pleased I brought I season ticket as I've been enjoying going, just need to join the gym or something for the evenings.

This might sound odd but I feel miserable that a) I am skint and b) because I am stoping gambling. I think deep down I've never wanted to give up 100% which is my downfall and I don't want to give up now but knowing I will never have anything in life if I continue is enough for me to stop. It will be hard because I love to have a bet but I don't love the big losses.

Here is to giving up onwards and upward! 🙂

Thanks everyone

Wilsy (Andy)

DAY 3 Done,

The money situation is dire, not got any basically so cupboards are bare and no energy. Parents are back from France on Friday which should mean some lovely cooked dinners again, which is a positive.

Work is awful I am literally nearly falling asleep at my desk it is so bad lol.

Would like to have a gamble but that's because I am doing cold turkey, this feeling will go, I've been here before.

Off to bed now, night everyone.

Hi Andy,

Great to see you back buddy! There is so much support for you here! You have been missed and I hope you can stay strong through these first testing few weeks!

Flagg

DAY 4 finished

Hi Flagg thanks for the suport mate, good to be back actually. Still feels raw what I have done, the loses get bigger each time I slip but its in the past now, just need to look forward. Work still different to remain motivated but at least one more day before the weekend.

Having an operation to remove a tooth on Sat, so will be a little sore but hey ho.

Andy,

Glad to see your back in the seat fella, I can so relate to your summary of the progressive nature of the compulsion to gamble, I know before my recovery, with each promise to abstain, I returned with bigger dreams and higher stakes, the results always the same ever decreasing circles.the spiral of destruction.

Today your choice to again put it behind you, you can't change it , you can decide on your future my friend, just for today no bet.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Day 7 - thanks Dunc for your post. Not been on over the weekend, had an operation to have a tooth removed yesterday so have been recovering from that. Got tomorrow off as well thank god, really hating work at the moment but need the wages at the end of the month. Been a family day today sister in laws birthday, complete carnege with everyone talking at the same time in an achoing conservatory and three out of control kids (Not mine), so found myself disappearing upstairs alot, think the years of gambling really ruined the social side of myself and now just like peace and quiet. Another day in my world tomorrow, credit card payment wil wipe me out but at least I can use it again for food and fuel. Night peeps