My recovery diary - Last bet 18/02/2012 - Forwards and upwards

Hi Andy,

Sorry to hear about whats going on in your life and I know at times of high emotion for me that was when i gambled at my worst, You have 135 days of making the right choice behind you, keep doing that and keep reminding yourself that no matter what if you gamble it wont change things and it will only add to your misery and ability to think clearly.

Dig deep andy and be strong, you can do this.

take care

blondie x

DAY 137

Thank you Blondie for your kind words. Holding it together as best I can, fortunately woke up in a half positive mood after a bad nights sleep and thankfully work went quickly.

My ex has two weeks to think about things and to decide if she is making the right choice. I am sort of preparing myself for no change and I think she will becoming round here next weekend to tell me what she has decided. I feel prepared to tell her 'Fair enough' when she tells me she doesn't want to try but she will know I won't want contact after that, I'll want to move on not constantly be reminded of what's happened.

Just going up to the doctors to talk to him about my on going medication. So pleased to have now gone 137 days, just 13 days until my next target, 150 days. I can do this.

Morning Andy

Thanks for the post , supporting others whilst goin through a tough patch can be difficult so respect to u for doing so , its a long and sometimes tough journey that we are on and challenges are thrown at us along the way , u will get through this one 137 days believing in urself will keep the strength with u whatever the outcome maybe

Castle2

DAY 138

Thanks Castle for understanding. Felt okay this morning, feeling pretty miserable ad angry this afternoon so not in the mood for writing much.

Urges are there, could so easily go out and gamble but again won't but not sure for how much longer, if next week is bad I don't know what I might do.

Need to hang in there 🙁

Hey Wilsy

Sorry you are still feeling unhappy and miserable. Like I told you, I have had a recent split and as horrible and unpleasant as it is, I definitely know that If I had thrown gambling in the mix as well - I don't know where I would have ended up (well actually I do - with no home probably)!! Dealing with that alone is bad enough but please please don't consider gambling as you know only too well that this will just bring about extra heartache for you. Plus, you say your parents are just starting to trust you and are pleased about you not gambling. Don't undo all your fantastic work. If it makes you happier then great but I think we both know the answer to that.

Take care and even if you don't feel strong, just physically stay away from those horrid places.

Thinking and praying for you.

Feb.

Hi there,

Trying to catch up on your story little by little, but I get the main points.

Well done on been gamble free for a while now! Anything is an accomplishment, and yours like many is pleasing to see.

As others have said, try not to fall back into old ways. I know it is tough with something like relationships tugging on your heart, but as with this, you have got to take the potential break up one day at a time.

I broke with my girl in February and I was a wreck for a few months as she was my world and my future, but I took the same stance as you and didn't have any contact with her etc and it's for the best. Being friends could work for her, but not for me. I know she'll be/she is with someone else now and I'll always see her as mine, so I thought it for the best to just be apart completely. Fingers crossed though, things work out for you.

Be strong

Jace

DAY 140

Thanks Feb and JTM, I really appreciate your support and will return the same support back later.

Jo has been in contact. She has said that we need to take things slow to see if her feelings come back. She has been exceptionally nice, almost as if she feels sad for putting me through this and might have been a bit rash. She knows the score I don't just want to be friends, we'll have to see what happens, but at least I feel a bit better now and that there is hope. We're going to go on a trial period, start again, until the end of the summer.

Urges have gone, I know stress and heartbreak is a big problem for me and being settled and calm is the key to staying on the correct course.

Looking forward to looking after my nephews for the day, got to get washed and go up to Tesco's to get their dinners, treats in.

Mum's house is a bomb-site, thank god they are away and I must have a day cleaning tomorrow!

Have a good weekend everyone.

Hi,

Well done on 140 days gamble free, u r doing brilliant. Ur determination shines thru 🙂

I hope things work out 4 u with ur gf, well done 4 staying strong thru the tough times!

Have a gr8 day xx

DAY 143

Thanks Charlotte for your kind words.

All is ticking along well with me. Urges have completely gone and girlfriend is talking to me, so it seems as long as we take things slowly and be happy/enjoy ourselves, we might be okay. Money is tight but isn't it always.

Going to London tomorrow which will be muggy but it'll be the weekend before I know it and this time next week, I'll be 150 days gamble free.

Determined to keep up the good work

Wilsy,

It makes me real happy to see the excellent progress you are making. Going 143 days gamble free is amazing and I look forward to reaching that milestone.

Hope everything works out well with you and the girlfriend.

Tomso.

Andy.

fella abstinence is a truly amazing gift one we can only give to ourselves, you keep enjoying yours.

As regards the football predictions I would be cautious about publishing them on the forum out of respect for other members who may act upon them as i could see them working as a trigger, not to say i don't think it a bad idea, Personally i don't think it has a place on the forum.

For me football has taken a new role in my life, one were i enjoy the outcome whatever the result.

I See myself the perfect neutral lol, i cheer whomever scores !! well except when my beloved pompey are involved.

At present the cricket fills my time, a sport i really enjoy.

My friend keep up the great work.

duncs stepping forward never back.

DAY 144

Thanks Tomso and Duncs for your posts. You are right Duncs, I didn't even think that a prediction league would be a trigger point and of course it will, I just don't think sometimes.

Been in London today, dammed hot! This is horrible weather, you have cold shower and five minutes later you are sweating buckets again. What's the point eh!!

All good with me

DAY 145 Done, not much to report, steady day and now home doing my dinner. Have a half day off tomorrow, gf is coming down, so looking forward hopefully, to spending a lovely weekend with her and her family

Hey Wilsy

Great to see you are still going from strength to strength. Hope the weekend is all you hope it to be!

Take care and whatever happens - never resort to gambling!! - It's a no win situation.

Stay strong.

Feb.

DAY 146 (Friday done)

Thanks Feb, got back from baby-sitting Jo's nephews, pleased I did at 10.00 pm she is still there and I'm up waiting for her to get here. Very tired so not staying long at all. It will be day 147 tomorrow for me! 🙂