Day one 04/08/18
So this is where my story of addiciton ended but journey of recovery started. My mum had opened a letter from one of creditors, saying that I had missed a payment. At this point, I had no other option but to admit to my parents that I was in debt because of gambling. During my confession to my parents, I had also confessed that I had gotten buy back loans against several of my electronic gadgets, the very same gadgets my parents had bought me for Christmas. Although this was the most difficult thing I've ever said, in a strange way it felt good saying it. The thing that didn't feel good, the thing that felt horrible in fact, was seeing the reaction of my parents and how much pain I knew I had caused them.
Looking back now as I write this, pawning something your parents bought you to fund your addiction is despicable behaviour. It's one of the most horrible, heartless and selfish things I could have done to them, something I will always regret doing. At the time though, it was out of sheer desperation, pawning the gadget's for cash, believing that I would win my money back and be able to buy the gadget back before the buy back expired. I never saw the sentiment value of the gadget, just the actual value of the gadget.
In the afternoon, my brother and his family had come to visit but instead of spending a relaxing afternoon together as a family, my brother was devasted by the news that his little brother was a gambling addict. Their afternoon was spent travelling with me to Cash Converters and Cash Generator to buy back gadgets they had already bought for me at Christmas. Looking back at that day I feel ashamed at the fact that my dad and brother had to withdraw their own money from their own bank accounts in order to buy my gadgets back. Walking away from those shops though, all I could feel was relief. Relief that my secret life was revealed, relief that my family knew everything, relief that my gagdets were back in my possession but most of all, relief that my family were there supporting me.
That evening, my brother had visited his in-laws and told them all about my addiction. Even my brother's in-laws got upset at this news, his in-laws phoned me showing their support to me and even told me they had generously wrote a £100 cheque to my brother which was to be used as money towards my upcoming holiday.
The love and support from my family on that day was overwhelming and I cannot thank them enough for sticking by me, it can't have being easy for them on that on day but they certainly showed how much they cared for me. Each and everyone of them were there for me in my hour of need and I shall be forever grateful for that.
Take care
Ry.
Hi Ry,
Hope you are well and still on your recovery journey. From my experience, dishonesty hurts. It hurts those that are lied to, and it hurts the person being dishonest like a pressure pot with no release, eventually the pressure builds and the unbearable pain needs to be shared. I borrowed thousands from my parents to help clear my gabling debts, and I wasn't working hard at recovery, so I ended up gambling again and putting myself in a worse positoin than before. This drove a wedge between me and my parents, not because they were angry with me, but because they didn't know, and I distanced myself from them.
Being bailed out does show that they care, but it's not always the best course of action. The thing that finally made me deal with the addiction waas coming clean to my parents again, and them NOT helping me. If forced me to address the true nature of the addiction and that it wasn't going to be easy to get out of trouble every time.
Wishing you well
GamRecovery
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