Hi Everyone,
I'm 34 now. Ive been gambling since i was a teen. As i get older, my stakes have kept increasing. My addiction keeps increasing. The impact keeps increasing.
I've known ive had a problem for about 10 years now. This isnt the first time ive seeked help. I posted here in 2009 and 2011 and managed a few weeks of no gambling. I have a pretty good job and work very hard however apart from this , my life is not a success and i know that a large part of this is down to my gambling.
I've recently broken up with my partner of 5 1/2 years. I 've moved out 1 month ago and renting a room in a shared house. I feel like i've lost the chance to have kids, and a woman who deserved so so much more love.
I've got some debts (credit card, overdraft, 2 personal loans). I live away from my family and many of my closest friends. I've isolated myself from most of them. Gambling has really taken over my life. i am completely preoccuppied with it.
So today i broke down crying in my room. I didnt go to work as i felt severe depression and tiredness. I've lost about 6k in the past month. Every payday for i dont know how many years now, i lose a lot of money to gambling. I feel like ive succomed my life to betting. I am not living the life i want.
After crying, i logged into my betting accounts and reduced my betting deposits.See how i didnt close the accounts. In the back of my head, there is a voice saying that when i receive my next pay check, i will bet again. I know how this ends. i need to close all the accounts and accept my losses are gone, an accept my situation.
I reallly need to stop. I joined an online support group for depression today. It was good to speak with 2 other people and share experiences. I am also waiting on a callback for some counselling, which i have nver had before.
I took my dog a long walk,i only see him a few times a week now since i moved out 🙁
I am feeling really low about my life and what i have allowed to happen. I need to find away to take back control. The only way that is possible is to stop betting.
I am going to give it my all... I just pray i can see it through
cheers for listening.
C
today So i wake up this morning, not feeling as good as when I went to sleep last night. I start thinking about my debts and immediately my brain throws in the idea that I can bet to be able to pay off my debts quicker. I know that’s not true and that betting is why I am in my current position.
Time to get up and go to work. I will not gamble today.
Hiya mate, reading you story I absolutely relate sports betting is my crutch to and it takes up so much time and effort (and money). I like you have tried many times and failed seen some “great” odds somewhere. This time is different I will not be betting again that is my mindset, I did 105 days before and had a cheeky tenner on something cost me two years and about 14k that will not be happening again. Love sports but my relationship is so intertwined with betting don’t know how much long term I am going to be able to watch but we will see. Keep strong and get your mind into that place. This time is different
Hi n2b,
Really sorry to hear what you have been going through, but as you well know, you are not the only one. I’ve been where you have been, lost partners, friends and even family at some points of my life.
At the moments you are still in the grips of the addiction. Your mind is telling you that betting is the only way to get yourself out of the mess you are in financially. But we both know that is not the case. Even if you win at the beginning, you will continue until it has all gone.
It’s great to hear that you are starting to get some real life support. But what is next?
Why not get yourself registered with gamstop and get yourself excluded from you from all online betting sites? It will feel like a big step to take but it will be one that you don’t regret. What about GA? There you will find a room full of people who have all been through exactly what you are going through now. What you have been doing in the past hasn’t worked…time to try something else, even if it is out of your comfort zone.
Finally with your finances…if it’s a struggle then get in touch with someone like stepchange who will help you with managing your debt. It will be one less thing to have to deal with.
I wish you well.
Damo
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