I have battled with my addiction to online gambling for years. It ultimately cost me everything I ever had. Including my relationship. I squandered every good thing I had. Wasted so much money and so much time. I am though determined to overcome my addiction. I live a very isolated life at the moment with no friends or family around me so that in itself has its own challenges. Gambling online is a way to escape the crushing lonliness I feel day in day out and also I would imagine myself winning and then being able to leave the UK which is actually my goal to restart somewhere new. Of course it never happens. I always loose even on those rare times that I win. And the feelings of lonliness remain no matter what I do. So something has to change. I can not go on like this.
I work from home - so do not even have a work place as an outlet. I am self employed. But my work place is my living room. A terrible situation in some respects when it comes to my addiction. So again I am reaching out online. Here and a elsewhere. To make connections - to get support and maybe when I can give support. I am mid 40s male. My losses over the years go over the 1 million mark. So here I am. Starting again.
Today called Gamcare spoke a while. That was good.
Self excluded from another casino. That was good.
Have not gambled today. Gotta be a good thing.
Thanks for reading.
Deeno.
Well done , onwards and upward x
nomorebets wrote:
Well done , onwards and upward x
Yep ha onwards and upwards if not sometimes slightly sideways 😉 same to you also! x
Deano
fella welcome to the forum,a place where you will find a wealth of support,advice and all from like minded folk who by and large share a common goal,to arrest the devastation that is their own compulsion to gamble.
My advice is simple.
There is a triangle Time-Money-Location
Take one away at all times and the punt becomes impossible.Gifting you the chance to re-wire your addled brain,to let the rational side take control.
For you living alone the best way to take an elimant of th etriangle away is self exclusion and blocking software,making it impossible to gamble.
This comes if your desire to stop gambling outweighs the desire to gamble.
With irony you actually start winning by arresting the next punt.
You have taken the first step,admitting gambling is beyond your control.
be kind to yourself
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back
HI Dunc thanks for the words of support. They do make a lot of sense. Have been on this path a number of times before. This time (cliche) has to be different! It is certainly getting to that point where the desire to quite as you say outweighs all other elements of this addiction. Today is day 2. I wont gamble. Woke up though feeling pretty rotten. At this point last year I was on the brink of restarting a whole new venture. It was my bright new start. It went horribly wrong in a matter of months. And before I knew it I was 15grand out of pocket (at least) and was on the street. Ironicially the business failure was not due to gambling (although I did gamble) but was other factors. But it was afterwards when it all collapsed that that I turned with vengance back to the welcoming and destructive arms of gambling. A bad situation spirialled to a utterly terrible one. It has taken months and months to try stabilise. Have not acheived that yet. Its been a utterly terrible year of failures - low self esteem and then my mum died around 7 weeks ago. It could not have been worse. And what do I do ? Join as many casinos that will take me and blow my brains out. Smart move Deeno!!!
That is past I cant change it. But I have to change here and now and my future or I am finished. I am working again self employed and planning another venture. My 3rd attempt. But it will only come together if I do not gamble EVER. I detest this illness this addiction.
Thanks for reading and thanks for the support!
Thanks Emily for your words of encouragment. And yes 3 days without gambling and wasting my money is so much better than 3 days with it! Its good to have something to aim for. To plan for. The most frustrating part is I know if I dont gamble I can within a number of months have restarted a new venture. Getting me out of the pretty rote self employed job I am doing at the moment to make a living.
The past 3 days are no real victory though as I have not had the money to gamble. I managed to waste what I had last week! The big test comes from tomorrow when money starts hitting my bank account. I have to be prepared for that and ensure I think before I act. Something I never do when gambling. I simply block it out and just jump in pushing all thoughts of the consequences of my actions out of my head. But we can do this as you say!!!
well done on not gambling for 3 days deeno, ive managed not to gamble for 42 days today, ive lost an absolute fortune gambling over 80k easily its disgusting how much money ive lost.
Well I am day 6 without gambling. I have tried to quit many times in the past. And always failed. But am determined to overcome my addiction. I got paid some money yesterday which would have been normally a reason to run a deposit into an online casino. I did not as of yet. Am self excluded from everywhere I play at online but know they will always be other casinos to temp me. Instead though I paid my rent up until December. Albeit 11 days late due to my last gambling frenzy. This will be a challenge I know to have money and not to gamble. But I really not only need to stop I want to stop!
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