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My unhealthy reactions to people life and situations told me I was not healthy and healed yet.

 
Recovery Diaries
Last Post by gadaveuk 5 years ago
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 gadaveuk
(@q86r2ugj5p)
Posts: 1997
Topic starter
 

Hi

The recovery program would help me face myself and my fears.
 
The recovery program was going to help me understand my emotional triggers.
 
I am a non religious person and I enjoy healthy living today.
 
I use to be angry most of the time.
 
Now I find it difficult to remember when I was last angry.
 
My anger was an unhealthy reaction to my pains to my fears and to my frustrations.
 
Pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand or identify.
 
My frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
 
Only when I reduced my expectations would I stop hurting myself.
 
My frustrations were covered understanding the serenity prayer.
 
I use to fear being honest.
 
At each meeting I attend I have no fears.
 
At each meeting I can be myself.
 
I feared emotional intimacy.
 
Today I embrace emotional intimacy.
 
The recovery program was all about healing my hurt inner child 
 
For me the recovery program was a very slow learning curve.
 
The person I feared the most was facing myself.
 
Each time I went back to my addictions and my obsessions I was not facing my emotional triggers.
 
Each time I went back to my addictions and my obsessions was a lesson if I was willing to learn from it.
 
The person I was from day in the recovery program is not the same person I am today.
 
A person once said at a meeting that he was glad that he was a compulsive gambler.
 
If it was not for being in recovery program he would never have found out how unhealthy he was.
 
I use to think how expensive gambling was to me.
 
Today I understand the most expensive bet could have been losing my family.
 
My unhealthy reactions to people life and situations have reduced in so many ways.
 
I understand that walking in to the recovery program me emotional age and my physical age did not match up.
 
The question I needed to ask myself is being angry healthy to me and people around me.
 
When ever I was angry was it healthy to em and people around me.
 
When ever I was angry did I say or do things that I lived in regret of.
 
Am I a victim today.
 
Am I a perpetrator today.
 
Am I a rescuer today.
 
Do my actions and words indicate that my motives are healthy today.
 
The only way I use to get things was due to anger resentments, was that healthy. 
 
Love and peace to every one.
 
Dave L
 
AKA Dave of Beckenham.
 
Posted : 17th September 2019 1:34 pm
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