Need help again.

Hi anniel,

Welcome back to the site, it shows you are ready to make all this madness stop. Don't know how you gambling, but if it's a case of online slots, have you tried blocks on your computer? K9 is free software to block your computer from accessing the sites. ( you only need to ask someone you trust to put password in for you..a friend or someone ).

I know how tough you might feel right now. But please try not to beat yourself up for it. All addicts has a problem..we can't win, because we cannot stop. That's it, leave the losses behind and start afresh.

You are better than this addiction and you can do it. Little steps forward.

Stay close to this site, even maybe contact GC for free 1 to 1 councelling sessions...you can arrest this addiction, taking it slowly one day at a time.

I wish you luck in your journey

Stay safe

Sandra

Dublicate.

Hi Anniel

You must understand that you will never win whilst you are gambling. Once you accept this fact then you can start to rebuild your life. Try and accept that the money you have lost is gone and you cannot try and win it back because even if you did you will be in the same situation or maybe worse within a few weeks/months. The only way you can try and sort this out is by stopping now- today. There is simply no point in carrying on. Draw a line in the sand, as this is the first day of the rest of your life. Make a commitment to do whatever is in your power to ensure you dont gamble and remember winning is poison as it will encourage you to carry on and lose. Losing is painful and destructive and will lead to you chasing your losses and losing even more. Stop now. Each day you dont gamble you are a winner. Start winning for real and take your life back. You do not need to gamble, you do not need to be this deceitful person that gambling turns you into. Get out of the fog- I can tell you that after only 40 days things are a lot clearer to me. No I cant ever get that money or more importantly the time I wasted over 10 years heavy gambling but thats fine because if it means I never spend another penny/minute in that destructive way well then I can say it was an expensive but valuable lesson.

All the best

Linda x

Hi Anniel

In my experience gambling was a form of escape for me. Maybe speaking to someone on the helpline would give you more of an insight into why you gamble. Put some blocks in place as I know it works. Do not leave any doors ajar as this is a common flaw amongst us compulsive gamblers. Slam it firmly shut whilst you are feeling the pain of your last episode. I promise you there is a way out but you have to keep it very simple. This addiction is not beaten ever, you just learn to live side by side and respect gambling for what it can do to you if you let it. Make sure you post on here and read as much as you can. You'll not identify with all of it but that is OK. Live today for today. The gambling mind will still be running like a program on your computer in the back of your mind. This will go on for some time but should subside if you don't feed it!

Take care

Hi. Thanks for your replies. I recognise myself in your answers - I started on the online slots as an escape I guess. In the last few years (coinciding with the problem) I've lost my mother, grandmother, grandfather and my ex (who was my daughter's father); separated from my husband who had metal health issues; moved house twice; my son was seriously assaulted and is still recovering 3 years on. I guess I know how it started and why, just not sure how I stop and if I will ever hold my head up (figuratively - I think I manage to put on a 'face' most of the time).

I should add that today I asked for my online casino accounts to be closed, permanently. I don't think there's a site I haven't already done this for in the past - there can't be.

Can I ask how long it generally takes for the feeling of constantly being aware of this having become an intrinsic part of you to subside - if it does. If it doesn't, that sounds like a living nightmare.

Hi,

in reply to your question. After, realising that you have lost, it takes a couple of days for the adrenline to subside then a couple of weeks for side effects, and withdrawal symptoms to go. Unfortunately, this is when you will succumb to boredom and all sorts of real underlying issues. This is real life. I have to confess I have not got past the two weeks stage yet. I am really angry with the fact I have let others down. I am refusing to direct anger towards myself anymore. I just have to beat this. One more thing, gambling adds to our problems in the end, I understand why we want to gamble and we shouldn't blame ourselves....Really, really mean that.

Thanks to you both. I am trying to come up with other things to focus on. Last night I went on a site that buys books and today will be packaging up some of my books and sending them off, to get money for everyday needs for my family. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but if you knew me you'ld know that it is! My daughter just thinks I am clutter-clearing! I will keep selling 'stuff' for as long as I am able and am looking for more work. Right now I have only 4-5 hours a week work and I have a physical problem (spinal damage) which makes it difficult/painful but I need to work to keep myself busy...if I can find something. My self-worth is in my boots right now, but I am counting on it coming back, otherwise there's no point in doing this. If anything happened to me ,my kids would find out and I can't bear the thought of that. This has affected them so much and they don't even know. I read on someone's diary on here that the next gamble could be the one that loses you your children - that is the thought that I am going to keep in my head to stop me. For them, and to make sure things are never this bad again, I am determined.

Another day, no gambling. I am not counting days, I am just going to focus on positives one day at a time.

Here goes another gamble-free day. I WANT to, for some reason it's only 7.30 and already I have the urge, but it's OK because there's no money in my account. Now, that wouldn't stop me necessarily, I find a way, but today I will keep very very busy with other things. I think I need to set some goals and find some hobbies - preferably ones that involve making things to bring in a little cash; although it seems obvious from the inability to cash-in a win that the gambling is not really about money, I think it's partly about chasing a big win (which is how the addiction started, with a big big hit); I need to change my mind-set and focus on the small things that make a difference like having a little spare to treat my kids/grandkids sometimes, or buying a little something for my house (which, by the way, could do with a whole lot of tlc)......even being able to start reducing the debt mountain (which matches that of a small country I reckon).

Hi Annie

For what it's worth here is my spin on this situation! Maybe you need to try and concentrate on doing something else for the sake of doing something else for enjoyment. Try not to think that you are distracting yourself away from the gambling as it is still part of what you are doing. In other words you are Spring cleaning to avoid gambling! Therefore gambling is the driver for your Spring cleaning. Try to Spring clean for Spring cleaning's sake. I use Spring cleaning as an example but I hope you get my drift. Whatever you do have a great day and don't look back!

Take care

Thanks! Makes sense; although the 'don't look back' is difficult advice to follow! I am trying though, and hope that in a few months time I can look back on this as a positive turning point. It is helping to be able to write on here and get some support - I am so glad for replies on here, it helps me feel not quite so alone with this, as there is nobody I can or will ever share this with. Thank you 🙂 x

Hi Anniel

How are you on *******? I sell lots of things from stuff in the house that I no longer use/like to antiques and collectibles i pck up at charity shops/car boot sales/auctions. It keeps me busy and generates spare cash for doing other things like buying new things for the house or taking kids out for the day. So much more satisfying than ignoring everything in life whilst spinning them reels!

Linda xx

Thanks Linda! Today I have been online and sold some clothes which have been sitting in my wardrobe unworn forever, and a courier picked up 2 boxes of books which I sold earlier this week. I am on a mission to make a little cash every day, somehow, so thanks for the ideas! I am thinking that next on the list is a necklace that my crazy ex gave me 😉 This is for 'normal' stuff like food & bills & my daughters and sons and grandkids (there are lots of them), things that all my money should have been going on all the time ....definitely not for you-know-what. It's not been the easiest of days today to be honest, but it's nearly over and I haven't gambled so that's good. It's so true what you say about ignoring everything in life - I think that was my aim for such a long time, for lots of reasons. xx