Never going back - only forward.

Hello Bobbyj,

Welcome back to the forum and thanks for sharing your positive motivation.

Currently the website is experiencing technical problems which mean that some forum members are experiencing difficulties with login, if this happens for you, remember you can also obtain support on our freephone 0808 8020 133 and our netline.

Take care,

Forum admin.

I’m hoping all is ok on the forum, i had so much trouble, couldn’t log in and i can’t believe how it affected me, i felt alone, i could see myself, standing in the street, lost, what the heck is wrong with me, i know that things ain’t been and aren’t going well for me in my life, but i felt more fragile than ever, . I could not login as Rainman but found that i could open a new account in the name of bobbyj ... I’ve been having a rough time lately, personally, finances, and still doesn’t look like i will get to work ( been long term sick since February) it’s looking bleak, but i am not going to give up, i have a small word that is huge,,,,, HOPE,, i have today and tomorrow and the rest of my life and right now I’ll sort out today and that will help tomorrow, that’s the way. Always keep on trying, never give up, and when it gets even harder, then i will try harder to... if i fall, i will get up, if i stop, i will take stock and move on, if i close my eyes, will wake with eyes wide open, if i go backward a way, i will move forwards undeterred and stronger, i will not stop. ..... Moving into the future with the right attitude is what is needed and it will be steady and strong, even if i don’t feel it sometimes, doing it makes me stronger. Stuff the gambling, it’s not going to destroy me.

Hello Bobbyj

It appears that our technical issues are still preventing some of the 'regulars' form logging in. I felt the need to respond to your post, simply becasue I got a strong sense that you needed support.

I felt the need to say to you that you have been heard; the struggles that you so eloquently descibed have been shared and the journey of hope towards better days resonates deeply.

If I could offer anything it would be to suggest that oftentimes we apply strentgh and fortitude but forget kindness. What I mean by that is this: that light and shade exists within any tranformational experience; it is a strength to acknowledge our humaness, our moments of fear and vulnerablilty.

By so doing we can listen to our deepest needs which at that time might be to release the "I will get up and forge ahead" to "I am doing the best I can at this very moment" Doing the best I can is not giving up it is acknowledging that for now I am no longer afraid to slow down, to allow myself to just 'be.'

re-group, re-energise and when ready, forge ahead again. Some of us forget to be kind to ourselves. Well done so far. I hope you have found this useful. Keep posting.

I wish you well.

GamCare Forum Adviser

Thank you forum advisor, i have trouble taking things in when i read them so i have to read over again and again until i get all in one. I’ve got it, but I’m still gonna read it again. Thanks

Thank you forum advisor, i have trouble taking things in when i read them so i have to read over again and again until i get all in one. I’ve got it, but I’m still gonna read it again. Thanks

Last night i dreamt of gambling,,,,,,,, Nightmare

I’m gonna give myself a big well done, why shouldn’t i, I’ve had a lot of upheaval and i am still clean. Im pleased with myself, i ain’t taking anything for granted, but I’ve done well and i will continue to do so. Bobbyj Rainman

my Desire to give up gambling is not just for the moment, it’s for every minute, hour , day, for whenever the thought comes into my head, at any unexpected moment, i’l be ready, I am prepared to take the thoughts on , think about what if? That’s right, what if, and then they are dismissed from my head and my load is lightened . This is how it is and is going to be. Guard Up, Rainman

Hello Bobbyj,

well done indeed on not letting anything going on in your life affect your recovery.

Best wishes

Forum Admin

Thanks Admin. Life deals out many different hands, good, bad, middle of the road, I’ll take it all, but i won’t turn the good hand bad, or bad hand worse, or turn the middle of the road into a bad hand, i will not gamble.

Morning diary, well there’s been plenty of pressure piled on to me this week and it’s not been good, but i am confident that the tide will turn, in spite of all this i have kept on the level and handled myself ok, betting has been put in it’s place and the only way i can see it is crushed and inoperable, just like it used to do to me, or should i say “ just like i chose to let it do to me” now I’m proudly in control, got it, I’m never going to take it for granted thou, cos if you leave addiction alone, deny or choose to forget, that’s the time it will get ya and bite you hard, so i will continue to keep my eye on this crushed, broken mess, that used to take the pxxx out of me and it will always stay crushed broken and useless,,, good. .. bobbyj / Rainman

Morning Bobbyj / Rainman,

Well done for taking good care of your recovery despite the pressures you experienced this week. Sounds like you feel determined to remain mindful and vigilant and keep on top of your recovery.

Remember if you ever need some extra support locally or online or by telephone, you can call us on the freephone or netline and we can give you details of local support near your area.

Take care,

Forum admin.

Thanks Admin, I’ll remember. ...... I know that I’m only one wrong move away from being back in a very very bad place, and Being aware of this, keeps me on top. I’m not straining every muscle, Up tight anxious about it, if i was then i reckon I’d be on dodgy ground.. gonna sleep on another couple of decisions that i have to make, see how i feel in the morning, if i have sleep on them again, then so be it. If i miss the boat, there will be another.. bobbyj / rainman

Well I’m still going straight, I’m in control and feel comfortable, not forgetting or taking it for granted, sometimes i get that winning feeling, i had it yesterday when i woke Up, that old feeling that you know that your gonna win and as you prepare to go out to kick the bookies back side, you become more confident and excited, cocky, i would walk down the road with a spring in my step, untouchable, unbeatable, the geezer, ,,, what a fool to feel that i was so great, even when winning i thought that i was the greatest, in the pub with pocket bulging and a false happiness, i wish I’d never been like that,, then the loser, a loser when winning, a loser when lost, . I was lost in myself, lost my self, all that i could have done and i chose to gamble, my life and others taken in a wrong direction because of my actions, my addiction, my selfishness, .. I’m beginning to feel sad and bad,, well I’m gonna stop that right now, i truly do admit my wrongs and my addiction, and I’m putting it in it’s place, it’s time for me to do the right things today ,, i will not feel sorry for myself because I’m better than that, forward i go with head up, ,, sometimes it’s difficult to move on with a heavy heart, but i will move forward just the same, because i have to, for myself, my load becomes lighter the further I go. Today will be a good day. Bobbyj / Rainman