Never going back - only forward.

Had to take the last two nights off work, an old injury has come back and bit me hard, haven’t been able to walk, it’s life, it happens and you have to get on with it and do the best you can, i had just planned out some stuff for the future, uh oh, so i had that little bit of ,”woe is me and wots the point of trying”, ,, well i really don’t want my employer to think that I’m unreliable and on i went to over think, rather than accept my situation and deal with it, it didn’t take long for me to sort that.... I’ve talked to my quack and upped the meds, got new meds, I’m hopping about today, proper hopping, i got a lift to pick the new prescription up and no less than 4 people , complete strangers, asked if they could help me, how marvellous that is, really great, ,, i thanked them and said that i would be ok, and i will be ok no matter what, i will be back to work tomorrow, and if i can’t walk, then i will be back the day after, if my employer thinks that I’m a liability, then that’s his opinion, but I’ll take it as it comes and deal with it as it comes, i won’t worry and waste time worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet, so moving forward keeping one step ahead (hop), guard Up bobbyj/rainman

Got back to work Saturday night and it’s going ok but i may have to drop a couple of evenings, I am doing 7 evenings a week, because i needed to give myself a kickstart, get some money back in , had some catching up to do,, well i reckon that my Old injury breaking down again was a warning to slow down, and so i will take heed and do exactly that... I have my addiction i under control and chained up tight with no inch of movement given, i have it where i want it, in my sight, with nowhere to go, i have it crushed and chained, it stays that way.... moving on keeping one step ahead guard up, bobbyj/rainman

Sound mate... I'm glad you have your addiction in a good place in time for Christmas. You can leave it in the chains and sit back and enjoy the festive period this year, safe in the knowledge that it's out of harm's way... keep your eye on it though at all times! :o) Nice one. Take a load off this Christmas mate... You deserve it. Hope your body is feeling a bit better.

Thanks signalman, yes i know where addiction is and I’m aware of it at all times, it’s in me and I’ve got my boot on it’s throat and I’m choking it to death, Ive hurt myself to many times, not gonna hurt myself anymore,, . Despite my aggressive attitude toward my addiction with my above statement, i am actually calm and confident, comfortable,, it doesn’t take my time Up thinking about it, it’s robbed me of so much of my important time in the past when it was controlling me, or i wasn’t controlling it,,, and now I’m in control I’m not going to have it take all my time spent on the sole purpose of being in control,, I’m moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up, bobbyj/rainman

Bobbyj wrote:

it's robbed me of so much of my important time in the past when it was controlling me, or i wasn't controlling it,,, and now I'm in control I'm not going to have it take all my time spent on the sole purpose of being in control

LOVE THIS

Bobbyj at his very best. A fine quotation. Very powerful and helpful to a fellow addict. Kudos to you buddy. Thanks for that gem.

I’m not gonna say much, just wish you all the very best of the best, my thoughts are with you all, circumstances are different for each and every one of us,, only good will towards each and every one of you , keep the faith that is with in you, find it, feel it, keep it and cherish it, moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/rainman

I hope you're keeping well mate and resting up. Here's to a fantastic 2019 for all of us :o)

Thanks signalman. Last night i lost one of my beautiful greyhounds, i have 2 , ,, in the early hours i heard her and was alerted by her sister, we are so very very saddened by her passing, she’s the most beautiful greyhound I’ve ever seen both in looks, nature and very smart and loving, she will be greatly missed. It was not expected as she was only 8 1/2 and full of happiness. RIP Daisy. X

One thing I have learned is that the longer i go with out a bet the better and easier things become, but this is when you are at your most vulnerable without knowing it, that’s why i keep myself aware of addiction, not stressed out aware but i can see it, i know it’s there, it will creep up on you and have a little dig to see if you’re gonna play,, xxxx xxx addiction, I know your game , I’ve played it before, there is no winner only on going losers, with their hearts, souls and minds broken,, so addiction,, my boot goes into your face, Now i win... Moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/ rainman

Hello diary, I’m not struggling or feeling under pressure to gamble, i watch sports and with that comes all the advertising promoting gambling, but it doesn’t get to me, writing that seems like i should be following up with “at the moment “ ,, see, i don’t want to be taking this for granted,, but it’s true it’s not getting to me ,, they really are throwing these ads at us all, not just when the sport is on, they’re aimed specifically at different types of people, they make it look cool, cocky, fun, like a happy community, promoted by your every day type person and well known celebrities, at least one i know has an addiction of his own, how sick is that, the whole lot of it makes me sick, I know that we all have a choice to do or not to do, but the amount of ads is too much, i know quite a few women that have never gambled but because they have been targeted through tv ads, are now players, . It’s every where and is a relentless bombardment.. i notice it more now because for the past six months I’ve been living on my own and decided to go without a tv, i didn’t miss it, if you want entertainment there’s better ways of getting it and there’s nothing better than getting out and about if you can manage it, sometimes i was restricted and was house bound, so i do know that for some people the tv is one of their only sources of entertainment, but for me personally i could do with out it. Anyway I’m moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/ rainman

Rainman.
Fella I use those adverts to inspire me, the fact that the legal notes at the end are said five times faster than the rest of the advert says it all.
The same for the adverts that offer perfect teeth, fitter body, the comfiest couch, the car that thinks for you
They won't be what they profess to be.
Just watch the next advert for any fast food restaurant, fella if just one of the burgers actually looked that good in real life I would happily eat my own hat lol.
Use them to your advantage my friend.
You haven't gambled because the outcome you know would be destructive.
Fair play to you the attitude you are adopting.
For it you will be rewarded.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi diary,, your hat probably tastes better than those burgers advertised,,, cheers Macca,, .. someone i know keeps certain chapters of their past under wraps, doesn’t want to talk, lies, in complete denial and even make believe different story. The inability to come to terms with what went on, yet there were a lot worse horrendous chapters earlier in life that are spoken about and accepted, the difference is that the one that they are in denial of, is of their own making,so that is buried and because of that it isn’t easy to move on and live life without anxiety’s, if they would only admit to messing up in the past then the future would be easier, ,, it’s a case of the past controlling the future, surely it’s better to admit to and feel the pain of the past than to carry that burden through life, pain every day or a false defence put in place, pretending it never happened on the outside, but inside knowing it did.. This is something we have had to come to terms with in our fight against addiction . It’s something we have to do for ourselves, we have to find the strength from within our selves and bring it to the fore, bring it up, do not oppress the past, it can have a positive impact on the future, but if it’s not dealt with then it will control the future for the worst,, so moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/rainman

I’ve been working 7 evenings a week since November to get my finances back on track, it’s been difficult battling against the pain of my gouty arthritis in my ankle but I’ve only had 2 days off and touch wood it’s not too bad at all now, most of my time is spent with weight off it now so it’s not agrivated. I’m starting to see and feel the benefits of not gambling and i go to work with a purpose and it’s not done with a heavy heart, far from it. Unexpected expenses arise and guess what, i can pay em,. I’ll give it another month of working 7 and then I’ll drop a couple.. moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/rainman

Saw this sign in the entrance to a retirement home last night,,, “Don’t take life to seriously, none of us get out alive”,, oh well i better do the best i can while I’m here then and hope for the best !!! And remember not to retire into that home, lol... I ain’t wasting anymore time, i wasted enough when i was gambling, because gambling is a WASTE of TIME !! Moving forward keeping one step ahead guard Up bobbyj/rainman

It certainly is mate. The ups and downs and the inevitable downer at the end. Like a fairground ride that sits in the middle of a wilderness... As addicts we would happily spend the whole day on that ride then when darkness sets in the ride shuts up shop for the night and we are left lost in a dark wilderness... Wishing we'd used the day to navigate out of the wilderness instead of hitting that ride over and over aimlessly. There are plenty of fun rides to pursue outside of the wilderness... We just have to get out of there and find them.