new beginning

Day 6.

Hi everyone. I went to bed last night at 6pm with a terrible migraine. Thankfully not related to gambling.

I have no urges to gamble today. I want to make it a week gamble free then hop onto the next week. I need to get my croak back.

Work have organised a counselor in after our work collegue died. Staff are still stunned and upset.

Tomorrow is a big day at the pond. Meeting our solicitor to sign all the paperwork.

The day we never thought would come through gambling.

I wish you all a good day.
Toad.

Another good read Paul. ..keep those barriers up...your future is in your hands...good things are around the corner. ..keep taking the right turns x

Hi All, thankyou for the encouragement loxxie,

Day 7

Yes! I am happy i have made it a week. My work is not finished as i want to build on this. I am not cured but i am determined. I have the barriers in place. I know my diary in alot of respects has become laden with failure but i want to change for the better.

I have been using the chatroom more and i would really recommend it. Some good people on here.

Okay so on the bus heading to work. I had 2 boiled eggs and tea this morning. Trying to lose a wee bit of weight.

Big day today. Meeting our solicitor to sign the mortgage etc.
So i quit work at 2pm today which is nice in the good weather.

So hopefully i can really change. This first week is only a start. So i need not get complacent.

I hope everyone is well and have a gamble free day. Stay safe on the lily pad.

Toad.

Day 7,

Still day 7 -just.

No bets but i ventured into the bookies. I put £10 into the machine. It spat it out. I tryed again. It spat it out. Then i realised hold on. Stop gambling toad. I saw a light and it shone bright. I followed the light and left the bookies.

I believe the spirtual world guided me today. I am back on my lily pad. Delighted to still be on day 7 ----just!!!!!

Good luck everyone.
Toad.

Hi Paul , really glad that youv'e gone a week without gambling and well done for that but and here it comes Paul " w*f " are you doing going back into bookies that you should be excluded from and also having the funds to gamble ? .

If that machine had taken your hard earned you'd have been right back to where you always gone back to , I support you my friend but I really cannot understand what your trying to achieve ? , if your actions and mindset don'/t change then nor will what you keep doing week in , week out , the light that you spoke of Paul could it be " Light at the end of the tunnel " or just " Some bstard with a torch , leading you back to a fob't " ?

Sigh.....

Toad. You wanted to gamble but the machine didn't work. That's not abstinance, that's luck. In your previous post you said "you have the barriers in place". What are these barriers as they certainly aren't working.

Your luck has bought you a week gamble free - make the most of it but don't rely on luck to keep you there!

You know what you need to do so time to do it.

Arghhhh....TOAD ! ! !
YOU have to want RECOVERY
YOU have to TRY
WE'VE ALL told you over and over
WE'VE ALL supported you
It's up to you now...SINK OR SWIM !
It's all about choices ...please make the right one ...x

Hi all,

I apologise. I had a moment of weakness. I placed the banknote in. It spat it back. I turned the note
over. It spat it back.

That 20 seconds give me time to gather my thoughts and realise what i was doing and walk away.

It's not easy to walk away whilst in the bookies with £10.00.

So it would be nice to get some credit for that. Negative comments don't help. We all need to be more positive.

Today i did not gamble.
I am delighted.
Toad.

If you are delighted Toad then that's all that matters.

Hi Paul , your right negative comments don't help , nor does doing the same thing day in day out and expecting a different outcome " Nothing changes if nothing changes " . Right or wrong I've always given you support and. I'm over the moon that you didn't gamble but that being said , you should have been nowhere near a bookies that youv'e supposed to have excluded yourself from and if you were then having money on you to gamble is utter madness , You talk of self exclusion but there'salways one more turf you end up in , you always seem to find one somewhere ?, your post this morning clearly said " I have the barriers in place " so where were they ?.

Sorry for being harsh Paul but if you want me to pay you lip service and say there, there , never mind , well I'm afraid thats not going to happen , your just playing at recovery and that's not going to work , you got away with it today , tommorrow you might not be so lucky my friend .

Hi All,

Thankyou Alan and sbisstopping for advice. I will take it all on board and try and take action.
I am taking this seriously this time.

Toad.

Paul , I hate taking the firm stance but I'm rooting for you that this time your going to succeed , a week is a great place to build on that success and I'd really like you to use it as a springboard onto better things , it's been quite a while since you achieved 7 days in a row and to keep going back to day one is really no fun at all .

Stay safe fella and get those bleeding exclusions sorted !!!!!.

Hi All.
Thanks Alan,

I really appreciate your advice. It makes total sense. I will act on it.

Toad.

Sorry if it all seemed harsh toad. ...b**t you done so well on 7days...so glad the machine fecked up...or it would have been day one....again.
..xxc

Hi All,

Thankyou Alan and Loxxie,

I want to thank everyone for the advice and support. You have given up your time to write and help me so i do appreciate it so much.

Yesterday was very close to disaster. When at home my wife phoned and asked could i go and buy her a sandwich as she was starving. I had the £10 so i was able to get it. We had to meet the solicitor so it saved time making something.

So met the Solicitor. Signed the mortgage. We are moving 15th July. Delighted.

So today i brought photos in to self exclude from the bookies i was in yesterday.

I need to take action.

I hope you all have a good day.
Toad.