new beginning

morning paul,

congratulations on signing the mortgage, that is great! day 8 today for you isnt it? it was a bit ago when you last got this far. i echo alans comments and also well done on self exlcuding from the bookies, this will definitely help you.

good luck moving forward mate, keep focussed and stay strong

ben

Thankyou Ben,

Thanks for the comments much appreciated. The photograph i have to exclude was taken the day i lost £1700. Well it took 2 days to lose that money. I look very sad and stressed.

Anyway i will be aelf excluding today.

For some reason i am a bundle of nerves today. I am feeling very edgy and i booked a half day. Going to meet a few friends for drinks to help relax me. I know that isn't the solution.

I wish you all a good day.
Toad.

Day 9

No temptation to gamble yesterday. I didn't get to self exclude though so i need to definately do that next week.

Good luck folks
Toad

Morning Paul , Those photo's you have won't keep you safe whils't in your wallet buddy , do what you know you have to do !

Best wishes and congratulations on 9 day's my friend !

Alan

You like positive messages Paul so congrats on making it to day 9 but mate, you are still keeping the door to gambling ajar. It's 7 months since you first committed to self excluding and some may say "what difference will a few more days make?". As you are well aware, to a compulsive gambler a few days can make a massive difference!

Hope you don't take this the wrong way as I am just trying to highlight the reality of the position. 7 months mate - a lifetime for a gambler!

Stay safe this weekend.

Checking in on day 12! feeling good about myself. Gym seems to be my therapy and I'm getting things done to get my life back on track. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Day 10,

It's safe Sunday. No bookies open here on a Sunday.

No urges to gamble.

It will be a good day.

Best of Luck,

Your croaking friend-TOAD

Day 11,

Morning folks.

On the bus heading to work. Me and the wife had a good weekend. Nice weather so had a BBQ.

I also managed a 5 mile run on saturday morning too.

It's sad Muhammed Ali is dead but let's take some of his positivity in life and give some lip to the gambling Industry.

Sometimes when i spent the day in the bookies i'd come out looking like Joe Frazier or George Foreman 🙂

The bookies kept the jab going all day then Toad was knocked out. It's over the Toad has been counted out. He is on the canvas with an empty wallet. How can Toad recover from Barney big jab bookmakers ?

But, we all do get off the canvas and we will dust ourselves down. Ready to fight another day.

Today I won't gamble and i dedicated today to Ali. Rest in peace and may God bless you.

Toad.

11.35am update. Urges to gamble at lunch but will go for a walk. Can't find photos to self exclude. Not good enough. I won't gamble though. Determined not to.

Hi Paul and well done on getting to day 11 , I have to ask though " What's going on with the self exclusions " ? for weeks and weeks you'd been saying that you'd self excluded , then you'd find one more that you hadn't excluded from , you had photos then this morning you can't find them ? . Come on Paul , there's no reason not to exclude but plenty of excuses my friend !.

Leaving doors open doesn't work for you Paul , so shut them tight eh ?

Best wishes ...........Alan

well done on 11 days paul, but i can only echo alans comments of self excluding!
This will help you so much and put barriers there!
Good luck!
Ben

Hi Alan and Ben,

It's me being careless and forgetable. Plus i am always losing things and i don't mean money in the bookies of late.

Thankyou for your advice though. That last bookies isn't the nicest and is grubby and dirty inside.

But i make no excuses i need to close the door.

Speak soon.
Toad.

Hi All,

Day 0,

I promised myself to be honest in my diary. Today I messed up.

I went to the bookies I was supposed to be self excluded from and won a tenner after work.

My wife was working late so I drove to another bookies near my home town. I was up ВЈ100 and left with £5.

So today I lost about £12. It's not the money but the failure once again. So I came into the house and made myself potatoes bacon and beans.

There is no point crying over it. The cycle has come round and I need to stop it.

Did i enjoy the fobt?

Not really !

I hope someone learns from my sad diary. Then that's a good thing.

My only saving grace is that my wife looks after the finances now. Can't you see why?

Anyway. Back on my lily pad.

I have lost my hop again.
Toad.

I was waiting for the update to say you had gambled. Your diary is getting so predictable. The surprise is that today's gambling was premeditated - you drove to a location with the sole intention of gambling. Not going to give any advice as it seems to fall on deaf ears.

I have always avoided usin the word "luck" in any of my posts but I will make an exception. Good luck Toad - in the absence of action, luck is all you have to rely on.

Paul , I just somehow knew this was coming again , empty promises of self exclusions that I really feel you had no intention of going through with , it's as if you really don't want to close your gambling doorway's for good and are quite happy to leave things slightly open just in case you get the urge , which seems to happen most weeks to be honest .

I really don't understand your thinking anymore , nor do I understand what your trying to achieve anymore , whatever it is giving up gambling for good isn't on the shortlist my friend .

If you really don't want to give up or take the advice that many good people on this site offer every day , then why continue doing this to yourself on a daily basis and more importantly waste the time of people who could be helping those genuinely seeking to stop gambling .

The Honesty coming from you Paul is great but the person your really not being honest with is yourself , nothing will ever , ever change if you don't change it yourself and you'll be doing this same thing in ten years time , although I'd like to scream and get angry with you Paul , I'm not going to my friend , It's your recovery and you have every right to manage it how you see fit , so I'll just wish you well with your future and leave it there .

Best wishes .......Alan

Was expecting this to happen Paul....
oh well...not a lot I can say realy...it's all been said to you over and over again...
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