New Beginning.

This song is dedicated to Stephen, 'The Abstainer' - to be sung silently whenever exposed to a bookmaker shop along the high street.

WALK ON BY - Dionne Warwick or Isaac Hayes. This is my edited version.

If you see me walking down the street
I have to smirk each time we meet
Then I'll just walk on by, walk on by...

Make believe,
that you don't see the tears
Just let me grieve in private
Cause each time I see you
I remember your big lie
So I will just carry on
And I'll walk on by, just walk on by...

I've finally got used to losing you
And so if I seem broken in two
It ain't the case at all
So I must keep on, walk on by...

Foolish pride,
is all that you gave me
So let me hide
The tears and sadness you gave me
When I couldn't say goodbye

But now I've moved on
As I look to the sky
And walk on by, walk on by...

Sorry to hear of you relapse Abstainer. You have my respect for realising you need to get back to concentrating on recovery immediately. I would be in gamblings grip for weeks. Take care.

Hello Diary. Back from 5 days at my sisters celebrating her 70th. Had a great time and was not tempted to gamble. Took the bus this afternoon from Waterloo to Kings Cross and glanced at the bookies opposite the station. Very pleased with myself, I had 40 minutes to kill, £80 in my wallet and I felt only a very small urge to gamble.

Not feeling too good in myself as I have pains in my chest, stomach and feeling a bit yuk all over, but that will pass.

Thank you Helen hope your ok. I would like to attend GA but the nights coincide with my dance nights and I see dancing as an important part of my recovery.

Thank you S J B for your post on my diary. Lovely sentiments showing you as a determined, thoughtful, compassionate person. Also liking your song selections.

Thank you for the wonderful post changemylife, it really brought a smile to my face and your lyrics are spot on. I will definitely return to that for a bit of inspiration and guidance.

Thankyou degenerate for your kind words. Why I returned to gambling is a mystery to me as I was doing so well. Nothing I can do about it so will just try again. I didn't lose a massive amount of money as I had previously bought all my christmas presents, got my train tickets, bought some new clothes and put money on my Asda gift card for shopping. What really saddens me is the betrayal. of myself and my GamCare friends who have given me so much support. It was sad, pathetic and I don't want to be like that anymore.

Hi Stephen, so glad you had a lovrly break with family but hope you ferl better today. Had a really intetesting chat with somrone yesterday about general mental health/behaviour stuff(how vague!) Which just reinforced to me it is odaat, carefully making decisions and being kind to yourself. So mega respect for passing by the bookies, avoiding the cycle of going there, beating yourself up snd ferling awful. Have a great GF day, take care S:)

Hi Stephen. Thanks for the mention. I'm glad that you are back in the positive groove. A trip away often gives us a breather, a time for contemplation, and perhaps more importantly, a renewed stance on our future. As you know it's all about having a laugh, sometimes laughing at ourselves, being active and finding new ways and challenges.
Above all its about knowing and believing that you are doing the right things. Looking forward, not back.

All the best to you and remaining free from gambling for a better life.

Hi Stephen

Firstly, I am sorry I haven't managed to catch up on your diary recently, this time of year is always crazy workwise for me.

I am really sorry to hear you relapsed but DO NOT beat yourself up about that, you now have a new day one, don't be defined by the relapse. You just need to show that strength of character we all know you have. You helped me get to where I am today and you are someone we all want to succeed.

Keep going mate

Matt

Hi Stephen, You have done so well that you only slipped once and that this didn't then recur. You can regain your positivity and you have aleady begun another journey to freedom. I will join you - although a little behind on my day count - Day 1 again for me. But you inspire me with your strength, kindness and courage and I believe in you! x

Hi Stephen

I hope everything's Ok mate, still following your diary thread, always a must-read with some great support and comments from you and a great band of fellow supporters. We're always here, through thick and thin 🙂

Stephen. Thinking about you and hope that you are feeling fine. Sticking two fingers up at the gambling with a dedicated belief that each day you will become more resourceful and content with your life. Doors will open, romance may blossom, finances will improve and you'll be proud as punch.

We're all in this together Stephen, come rain or shine. Looking forward to hearing from you x

Thank you for the posts on my diary which I really appreciate. A week ago today I went for a steam and a splash at the gym, hoping to clear my airways and liven me up. It made me very dizzy so I went to A&E where I was immediately admitted to hospital with very high, irregular heartbeat and pneumonia. Came out yesterday and taking heart tablet, steroids and antibiotics. Feeling very fortunate as my heartbeat was 157 and it should be 60 - 90 so think I've been lucky.

Hope my GamCare friends are all ok and successfully battling this monstrous addiction we are all afflicted by.

Phew!! So glad you have posted this morning but sorry you have been poorly 🙁 Please take care of yourself and do lots of resting.Take it easy S:)

Hey Stephen take it easy and get better. Look after yourself!

Sorry to hear you have been poorly Stephen, take things easy and look after yourself mate nothing more important than your health, hope your feeling better soon, this place is not the same without your daily posts and song choices which i always look forward to reading ..... take it easy and concentrate on getting yourself back to full health again.

Hello Abstainer

Sorry to hear you've had problems with your health. Wishing you a full and speedy recovery. Looking forward to having your voice on the forum again when you're feeling well.

Best wishes

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