New beginnings!

Hi Lucy.... As usual big thx for your kind words in my diary. You are real Special One and your wide smile shines thru' anything written on this site. I have enjoyed reading your last posts actually cause it Looks like story with happy end... Will keep my fingers crossed for that. Your fairytale will find you eventually, you do no need to look for it. Stay strong and safe Lucy. All the best. K.

Hi Lucy

'Explore your mind'.. your mind sounds like a flipping great place to be at the moment!

It seems this little adventure of yours has been a big turning point where now the future is your focus. And what a great future you deserve!

Seriously, I just love your enthusiasm and to see your zest for life increase daily.

You will have the fairytale Lucy.. BELIEVE!

Enjoy your walk my friend!

xxxxx

Great to read your diaries, as always. Have a great day. It's glorious down here at the moment, and I have to work *grump grump*. Still, I've just had a long weekend away, so can't complain. Life's good, isn't it 🙂

Hey buddy!

Who needs x-ray vision when the proof is clear for all to see? 😉

Things with me are soooo up and down and I feel like such a numpty sometimes because I have so much to be thankful for and should be ecstatic with my progress... yet I just feel so deflated sometimes.

Unlike you, exploring my mind is akin to opening the proverbial 'can of worms'... !

But hey ho, that's what 20 years of bottling up a load of cr@P does I suppose and it's bound to take time to get it out there and deal with it...

I will be here with bells on cheering your fantastic milestone.. no one could be happier for you than me! Soooooo proud of you mate!

Thank you as ever for your fantastic support my special cyber friend!

xxxxxxxxx

Being out in the open will only have given you the opportunity to reflect, blow away all your cobwebs and think about the future.

And that can only be a very good thing!

NT

Ahh thanks mate, your post brought a tear to my eye.. and I don't do crying!!! 😉

Let's make a promise to deal with all those worms together, no matter how big or ugly they are.. !

We will get there mate... !

I read somewhere that you were abstaining from the beer this week? Well, I flipping hope you make up for it on the big 100! I know I will be raising my glass to you!

Have a great day mate!

xxxxx

Hiya Lucy

Thanks again for posting and i'm glad that my ramblings do resonate as sometimes I wonder if they are a bit irrelevant...lol

As you know Lucy I stayed around this site because I knew underneath that gambling is a symptom and underneath we are all probably struggling with the same stressors and similar emotional things.

For me...If I had been good at numbers I too would have been gambling but instead my vice was alcohol (which i don't even like the taste of...just drank for the effect and to escape)

Playing numerous roles and people pleasing are big reasons why I get so stressed and turn inward and want to escape...

A big relief at leaving was that I didn't have to play those roles any more but its left me in a bit of a no mans land too...

Im vulnerable to picking up with another relationship and doing the same again which is why I have to keep myself in check...

Glad your dealing with out your worms one by one ...

and LMM on that journey too with you.....i'm peeling onions and others sorting out worms...lol .....only people on this site would have a clue what we are on about...

take care Luce and I always look out for your posts.

hugs

Rachel and Dotty xxx...(top priority)

Hi Lucy, thank u 4 ur kind words on my diary 🙂

I like reading ur posts , ur positivity and strength shines thru.

I think u r a real asset on this site, u r sooo kind and supportive of others 🙂

U give me hope, thanks Lucy 🙂

Stay strong xx

Hi Lucy, thanks for your post on mine 🙂

Great post from you today, the Fells sound amazing, even though they are stretching you physically !! Good on u girl, good clean air to rinse the brain.

You are so focused now in all you do, your good vibes leap from the page, and its very refreshing to read your words - feels like we're with you.

Utopia here we come !!

Enjoy the rest of ur break, take care,

Cameron 🙂

Good morning world

Another day but one that feels so different ....

Lots more soul searching yesterday and felt a real shift in my recovery

Let my biggest demon come out and dealt with it in a way I never thought possible and can't believe how I felt after , a calm descended , life seemed ok and the weight on my shoulders shifted into a more comfortable position 🙂

Still no thoughts of a bet but still aware and on guard as I know I always will be but can now have times when I don't always think about gambling which can only be good

Went up on the fells late yesterday in cloud , got a bit lost but instead of panicking I just laughed , took a deep breath and got my bearings , felt like my gambling days , couldn't see anything , didn't know which way to turn and alone but yesterday I did find which way to turn , didn't feel alone and could make a good decision which showed me the right path to take

Feels good

Still stuff to deal with but I now know how to start to deal with them without resorting to gambling and I am going to do exactly that

I'm 100 days on saturday bet free and have the biggest smile on my face

Homeward bound tomorrow but my heart is beating with contentment and happiness instead of panic and despair

Keep strong all and please realise with commitment and hard work we really can turn our lives around

Very very smiling Lucy xxxxx

Lovely analogy of you in a cloud, Lucy. I think you picked the right week to go: it's blowing a hooly here and even the dog is looking like she wants to stay indoors.

Glad to hear you're doing so well,

Rose

Lucy,

Taking a well deserved trip along the sea of tranquility, you prob notice how lovely and still it is, a sense of calm as you drift along! The great thing is you can see multiple destinations, I will pick one today for you and that's 100 days :)! I've harped on about it a few times recently but I truly believe we are able to break the gambling habit and I know 100% you have achieved this, you mention having days where you don't even think about it now that's breaking the habit, the not wanting to get up every day and gamble! You are spot on about not being complacent because we will always be compulsive gamblers this cannot be cured but habit breaking is possible and you have done it!

So, after reaching 100 days you hop back on and continue along the tranquil sea! You begin to deal with other areas of life, here the water may get a bit choppy, the storm may come, and that stillness may temporarily disappear but by not gambling you have placed yourself in a far far stronger position to ride the storm! The storms will be short, life will last far longer and it's beginning to look like you have a wonderful one ahead of you!

Enjoy the end of your break, remember your post from today always worth a re-read if you ever have to weather a storm!

Flagg

HIya Smiling Lucy

I am not religious in the traditional sense but your fell walk in the cloud reminded me of the 40 days in the wilderness bit and the journey we all take into the dark night of the soul when we face our big fears......

....AND you came out laughing and smiling which is the enlightened bit......

You certainly are walking that walk Lucy...

A great book if you have'nt read it is "The Camino"..by the actress Shirley McClaine...its about a pilgrimage spiritual walk that people do in northern Spain..Santiago I think....

I read it a while ago but its a good read on how this walk feeds the soul and enlightens along the way.

Another one on my bucket list of things to do before I die....lol x.

hugs and love

Rach and dotty xx

Hi Lucy, thank u 4 ur support on my diary. It means alot 🙂

I am glad that u have enjoyed ur trip away and u have been able to think clearly. It sounds like it was what u needed.

U r doing brilliant Lucy 🙂

U should be sooo proud of urself!

Stay strong and keep going xx

Fantastic post Lucy, you sound amazing. So happy for you, your words are infectious I feel quite light headed after being up in the clouds on the Fells with you. Thats the beauty of your posts, you share your experiences in such great detail that we feel as if we're with you ! Love it 🙂

A true inspiration, and proof that it can be done, we can overcome this. Go Lucy.

All the Best,

Cameron