New Start before things get ALOT WORSE

i am at a loss feel like i dont want to live anymore pls help

Smeather,

Positive thoughts are a must! I have felt so low at times but there is always a way to get over it. Last night I was walking around town aimlessly not knowing what to do. Keep your chin up mate. Share your thoughts if you feel you can.

Hi Emily,

Great to hear from somebody, its already starting to make me feel better 🙂

I have 4 photo's to distribute out to the main bookies I’ve been using on my journey, although I’m really embarrassed to go in and do it it's a must!!

The realization of the money i have lost is becoming a thing of the past, my debt is not astronomical and after a year or so things will begin to look better! I've made a budget up today to help manage my money starting in Jan. With all my bills and some saving i will have around 600-700 a month to myself. It doesn’t sound great because I usually have so much more but will hopefully make me feel the value of money that I once had before!!

I will be posting everyday with my progress!!

Josh - Really appreciate the response! x

Dear Josh, I wish you success in your recovery buddy. What you wrote about money left in your pocket has reminded me of something and I wanted to share.. It was some 10 years ago, when I was nearer your age 🙂 something I had to learn because of gambling problems of course, that £10 was actually a pretty nice sum of money to live on for a week or so. My boss at the time, figured out I had cash problems as I was sitting in the office when everyone went out for lunch. She then took me to the supermarket and thought me how to find the 20-30p items and make a very nice sandwich or even an evening meal for less than £1. Your challenge with £17.66 in your pocket with 2 weeks to payday seems a bigger one of course but I humbly suggest you try what I did back then. Go to the Supermarket and hunt for lower-shelf own-brand soups or canned food.. I know £17.66 is not £377 but don't let the maths between the two figures make you think of yourself as a failure. That, in my personal experience is the biggest driver to gambling. I know comparisons are not a good idea but just to put thing in perspective I have zero in my pocket right now. Account owerdrawn and banks lining up calls.. Yet I feel ok. I hope you will too. Big hug!

Hi Faustus,

Great post! Thanks for sharing. I'm very lucky i have a superb Dad whos borrowing me £200 until the end of the month! I also have £60 pound in my paypal account which I've transferred over! Not all doom and gloom! I should be able to live like a King now after your advice haha!!

Thanks for the post! Much appreciated - Josh

I've banned myself from my usual bookies!! I feel empty at the minute!! Feel like I'm never gonna shake the effects my life has taken the last few months!! Never felt like this before very empty and lonely

Hi Josh,

You will feel empty its natural but you are doing great, well done, 11 days is fantastic, because all that gambling and losing is still very raw, your posts come across very positive you are doing fine, keep going and get stronger to keep abstaining from this

horrible addiction.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne, although I haven't gambled today I feel the worst ive felt! Empty! I think it's the realisation of my loses kicking in not a nice place to be

Empty? Yes the glass is HALF empty buddy. It always is. Lucky you, there's so much room to fill with other things now. You are 25 fgs! 25! majority of people I know would give their right arm to go back to 25 right now 🙂 Do not overlook the value of your youth buddy. There's a whole life ahead of you. Make the most of it. Remove the self-imposed hurdle of gambling. Read books, go party, watch films, work your head off at something and feel a sense of achievement, chase girls, love, be loved, flirt, kiss, make love, make kids, watch footie, run, swim, jump, shoot, shop, chat, tweet, eat sweets, go crazy. Live your life and I promise you something in this list or some other thing will eventually fill that void. You will be surprised how quickly!

Hi Josh,.

It's hard to let go of our losses, but we have

to so we can move forwards, you won't get them back because you cannot win because you cannot stop, and once we do, the void of time spent gambling as well as the losses, is quite a handful to take in all at once, and it's not a nice place to be in. This feeling won't last, each day you abstain you will feel stronger and less lost,

There

is no quick or easy fix, but now you are in recovery and admitting to yourself that you do have a problem with gambling, it

can open up a new and challenging life with positives and self respect because you are fighting this horrible addiction.

Be kind to yourself I did not quite understand this at the beginning of my recovery, but it is a definite step forward as much as letting those losses go, take one day at a time and you will find the real you

Suzanne xx

I feel ok now having a few White Russians and a chat with my sister! She sees it all as she works in the gambling environment, it's good to talk at these times! Need to get my head on and work my a*s off tomorrow! Thanks for the comments guys really appreciate them from you both x

Josh, don't worry about the debt. If you start wanting to get rid of it quickly you will only get in a vicious cycle of gambling again. You have 5k debts if I'm reading this right. Yet you earn 30k a year. I am a similar age and have amassed 20k debts and earn a lot less than you. Yet I am content and not worrying as I know I have a plan to pay off 350 a month with my bank for the next 4 years. Treat it as an investment in your future, yes the money is gone but plan carefully and you will have enough left to live comfortably and you could save some spare cash to treat you and your girlfriend. Don't waste the time worrying, go out and enjoy yourself.

Hi josh, I went to a conference today and the speaker said this about life and it really made sense look at life like its a week and at the end of each day you are 12 so mon 12 tues 24 wed 36 thurs 48 fri 60 sat 72 sun 84 you are just on wednesday you still have all of that thurs fri sat and if your lucky sunday left. I think its a ptretty good way to see how much of life hopefully we have left and this is only a tiny portion of our lives. Good look

jess 🙂

hi josh, thankyou for ure positive message i apologise for the depressive responce lol. yesturday day i was very low due to blowing money again.it all started for me when a friend introduced me to online slots. i would only play ВЈ10 a week then and even that was a bit much.i wonВЈ750 one day on the slots and thats what got me! after that more money went on stakes went higher lost alot then won few grand but put it all back on again.i am not a compulsive gambler i only play when i have had a drink which is the worst time as your perception totaly changes when drinks involved it is just the odd time i have played sober that usualy the day after to try and win losses back. i spent £200 pounds on tuesday on slots. i have excluded myself from so many sites it untrue i have never entertained betting shops, casinos, i am a secret online gambler.but today i am going to download some software so i cant go on and hopefully fresh start for me! good luck josh and to all who commented x