new user

this has now all become real to me today not beacuse of the money but because of the whole situation , and ive had enough of it , enough is enough , im stopping

the word for the day for me total disapointment

back to counting days. day one today , wish i could turn back the clock and not gamble, if ever i get an urge again i must remember to think about my last horrible bet that seems to work but for some reason i did not make myself think that yesterday, for that i am 400 down ,but must make sure i remind myself next time

Sorry to hear about your weekend Simon but remember if it was easy beating this addiction then we all wouldn't be here. Remember what I initially said, there will be rough times, terrible urges, frustrating lapses in control and ultimately relapses. Its an ongoing education and battle until something clicks inside your brain. To reach that point you have to have the character to keep going when you've been knocked down, to never give up. The £400 has gone but if you've learned something about yourself and addiction then perhaps it hasn't been wasted. To your credit Simon you haven't given up and you came straight back here, you never sank away like many do. Take consolation from this, beating gambling is initially frustrating but if you can stick it out, learn, understand and soak up the blows then the rewards will come, all the sweeter for you earned them. Keep positive, never be complacent, keep your blocks watertight for when you feel tired, irratible, stressed or bored.

Take care

Steve

cheers laz appreciate that , i told my work colleage today and told her i almost need slapping , she told me how it will affect my life if i carryon , and this time i was listening , hopefully this will make me double/think next time i get an urge , just hearing it when i wanted to has really helped, but ye you are totally right i cannot become complacent, scary but so true , and i must make sure blocks are in place

Hi Tryer thanks for your message of support, sorry to hear about your slip, I've done it many times myself, big bill coming up, birthdays or whatever & instead of using money I've already got, my warped mind tells me I can win it gambling which never ever happens. Think its just that devil sitting on our shoulder giving us an excuse to gamble. If we can change that mindset I think we`ll be well on our way.

All the best Rents.

probably wont be on here much as I have put a blocker on my computer to stop myself being able to access gambling sites, and am only able to come on here now as I am using my dads computer at my mom and dads house [ the blocker blocks this site aswell ], thanks rents for your thoughts it helped ,day 2 of being gamble free and I am serious of beating this addiction so I am putting every possible block in place , off for a curry tonight , still miffed about the 400 I lost recently but I know that will pass, onwards and upwards

Think about your girlfriend because you will end up losing her if your gambling continues. Everybody has slips but it does P*** you off thinking all the hard work you done on the gambling free days is wasted. But all you can do is try again.

stay strong mate

well in a strange place at the moment, gone a couple of days now gamble free after my first slip since I been on this site , I put the block on my computer a 14 day free trial for now , which means I cant use my computer on this site either meaning I only come on this site now when I come to my mom and dads and use there computer , but I still felt I would eventually gamble so I came to the conclusion I would have to pass my debit card onto a friend or family member , I could not bring myself to do this so instead have set fire to my debit card and so can not use the card as cannot see the card numbers to use the card for online betting, I have not renewed the card and will be paying my bills by cheque from now on or using cash or getting my father to pay a bill for me and paying him back in cash . Although I know I could ask for a new card at any time which means I could then use that to gamble online again but if I get an urge or temptation to gamble then ask for a new card , by the time the card arrives the urge/temptation will have gone, not then wanting to keep my new card for when the next urge/temptation comes I would then probably destroy my then new card and so on , and knowing this I then probably would not bother to get any new card , I have lost my debit card [ in the house somewhere ] and so cannot use that , the only other way to now gamble online which I have done before is to buy vouchers with cash and so I am making sure any cash is in the bank so I cant get to it when I get an urge apart from petrol money ect.. and with no cards I cant get to it quickly , without a cheque wrote out to make a payment but by the time the cheque has cleared the urge/temptation will of gone , so I think I now stand a chance with these blocks in place

well doing ok today , not gambled since last time , feeling good although had urges today, but thanks to treating myself like a child , I am not able to gamble no debit card now block on computer and all cash put in bank , so if I cant control the urges what I can do is at least stop myself from acting upon them , by putting these blocks in place and never being complacent

feeling good today because the blocks I have put in place seem to be working, all the best everyone

Hi tryer if we have to be treated like children its a small price to pay for our sanity. The bottom line is despite our best intentions we can`t be trusted. My daughter gives me my money on a daily basis, a sobering way to exist for a 48 year old, I`ve no idea about my pin number on my account & until I trust myself again it will stay that way. Keep going.

Good on yer Simon, keep those blocks watertight, remember if you can't bet then those nagging urges aren't nearly as powerful. You're still here, you're doing great.

Steve

yes still here, it is getting easier , as i know I cant use my card as I have destroyed it , don't know if I will ever trust myself having a card again slightly awkward not having one , but a small price to pay to stay gamble free , back on here in a few days or week

Simon

Fella don't be too hard on yourself, you are doing something truly outstanding, you are dealing with a compulsion that will take all you have to give and more, emotionally and financially.

For that be proud

Be kind to yourself.

It's better to have a few worries about accessing your hard earnt than the big worry of trying to replace it through gambling losses.

You did win because you did stop.

Duncs stepping forward never back