New year, New life

you could get in touch with gamcare? get some support and counselling?

could help tri

Thanks tri. Counselling is something I will bear in mind, not sure if it's something I want to do but I may well.

Day 6 for me and looking forward to getting to week one tomorrow. This year I must sort my life out. Onwards.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

I have been to the sessions with Gamcare they will have one local to you and it is just you and another person in the room they help you understand and overcome your addiction , well worth it.

Even if you try one you will know for sure afterwards if it is for you or not , dont fall into the hole of thinking you can do it on your own , I have tried that and failed miserably as most on here have.

Thanks John. Will bear it in mind. Going ok at the mo but may decide to look into it more.

For now it's day 10, proud of that but a long way to go and I really can't wait till February, be great to get that first month under my belt.

No one I know really believes In can do this which is totally understandable, I hope I can prove everyone wrong, I think that fact might actually drive me on more.

Have a good bet free weekend all.

Hi insanity,

Day 10 proves you are doing it, well done and be ver proud.

Suzanne xx

Wow day 31. Today brings the end of January which has just flown by and brings me to my first month gamble free. I have no plans to gamble today. Saturdays are probably the hardest days as I always had a football bet of some sort going at the weekend but knowing if I can see it through today I bring up that first month is all the motivation I need to not gamble today. Thank you gamcare one month down, many more to go!!

Just read the weekly update on the gamble free 2015 thread and it's reminded me that I'm approaching 50 days bet free. It's been a long while since I've put a run of 50 days bet free together and it's feeling good. Im looking forward to the end of the month and it's going to be great ticking off each month as they pass. I have a great image of new years eve and raising a glass with my wife at midnight and me just saying I did it! A whole year bet free. It's a long way off but it's a great motivational aid.

I am taking things a day at a time but I am aware of Cheltenham being on the horizon and I try not to think to much about the four day for now it's getting to them four days bet free and then I'll do what I need to do. I have thought of leaving my phone at home each day as if I were to have a bet it would most likely be on my phone. But my phone is like an extra limb so we will see how I feel but if I need to I will do it. I am more determined then ever, I want this so much I think I'll be proper heart broken if I fail, even though I would be no stranger to a failed gamble free attempt, it means a bit more this time.

I guess I'll just have to succeed!!

Hi insanity,

Well done on 47 gamble free days.

Good strong positive post.

Suzanne xx

I don't like to use that word either lol, t feels like you are kicking someone when down.

Have a great POSITIVE day

Suzanne xx

Day 53 and I was planning to do a big post on day 50 but had my in-laws round. We had a few drinks and KFC which to me was a treat for the 50 days. But didn't get chance to post and then the last couple of days at work have been crazy it's been long hours for the past couple of weeks this week has been the smallest and that's 54 hours worth. But the work load the last two days was annoying to say the least. But that should calm down a little this week - I hope!

Anyway I have had a few urges which I put down to stress and wanting an escape. The good thing is tho I have resisted and that feels good the bad thing tho is I do wonder if an urge will come that I can't resist. I have tried to give up gambling so many times and failed everytime. My longest gamble free spell being 6 months but ultimately leading to a return to gambling so why will this be any different?

I have been honest with my wife and she now knows all so hopefully that will be the difference this time, I suppose all I can do is try. I do need to keep coming on here when those urges come and keep fighting them. I hope this is my time.

Well done

Day 54. Another week starts, sorry I mean another gamble free week starts! Looking forward to Sunday and the two month mark in my recovery. I mentioned in my other diary but in this new year one I haven't, I actually work in a bookies. I know that won't make me any friends but I thought I should mention it to keep the honesty going. I'm getting urges lately with Cheltenham on the horizon and obviously seeing prices etc everyday, let's my imagination run wild but I know I'll have to be strong and stick with this site. I will be looking for another job but I'm quite well paid and with the debt I have I can't afford to just take any job on. But enough on that. I feel good that I'm still counting the days and I'm doing well but March will be massive for me. Atleast my wife knows all and will be quizzing me all through Cheltenham - should keep me on the right path.

Hi Insanity,

That is exactly how I felt this morning lol, another week starts lol. maybe that's why I have been on here a lot today lol.

Don't apologise for working in a bookies, when I lived down south I also worked in a bookies and used to go round all the holiday sites to,take bets off happy holiday makers, That was before my addiction took hold,lol,

54 days now that is great going, stay strong and keep going.

Suzanne xx

Day 57. Be nice to finish February and get to two months. I struggled on Tuesday and I picked a football treble out and ofcourse it won. I shouldn't be doing that but overall glad I resisted. I resisted by really thinking about what would happen if I won or lost. And it just wasn't worth lieing to my wife and either lieing on here or stopping my count and stopping the 2015 challenge. And there is just no good that can come from me having a bet anymore. Either in bet small and maybe win a few quid but still feel guilty so what's the point or I bet massive giving myself a chance at winning big which history shows is highly unlikely and what's more I'll probably gamble it away anyway and none of that matters because what will hurt is I'll either lie to my wife and I'll be that person is was that I don't like or I'll tell her and lose her. No I can't mess this up in have to much at stake, I'm lucky she's stuck by me and I can't take that for granted. On that note I'll do think I'm more closer to my wife now than ever, gambling effected me so much and I was always lieing to her now I don't hide anything it's just such a weight of my mind no more hiding the mail etc. Anyways that was a bit rambly but wanted to get that down on here. Thanks as always for listening.