day 1 is almost complete on what has been and will remain to be the toughest battle of my life. Gambling Addiction!
What confuses me is after all the turmoil, devastation, money and time wasted gambling it's heartbreaking that I have to say goodbye.
Gambling has almost ruined me yet even now I still love it. I work so god d**n hard for money but yet I risk it all on the spin of wheel, turn of a card or a horse race, jeez I'd gamble on two flys crawling up a wall.
I've been at it for over 20yrs now. I was addicted right off the bat. I'd save my lunch money up just to play the slots on a Friday night. That's if I didn't lose it playing pitch and toss at school.
When I think back of all escapades I've been into through gambling it's scary, that person who I become when I lie and shamefully admit have occasionally stole but in a gamblers eye we only borrow because we aim to put it back when we win right?
It really does feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders though finally admitting to myself and my girlfriend that I do have a serious problem. I've been through this so many time before though and after a while I convince myself I can control it, I'll stick to horses and sports at controlled amounts but we all know it eventually spirals out of control. If I win, then I want to win more. If I lose, I'm always chasing it back..... it never stops! So please don't ever start again because I can't win.
After 3 days of not being able to go to work due to despair and depression I finally managed it in today. It felt so much better getting my head active. I haven't worked out since Sunday but I will tomorrow. The gym is my happy place and this will be my strength to get through this. Often I tend to hit the booze after a big loss to numb the pain but that doesn't help at all, I need to keep focused.
I'm so lucky in the situation that I am but believe this your so close to losing it all. Carry on and your inevitably giving up life. That thought of not being able to handle life no more.... is it worth it having that first bet????
Hi San thank you so much for your reply.
I know gambling has me beat there isn't any point trying anymore. I gotta get out of that dream land that I'm gonna win big one day and instead focus on bettering myself as a person and what I want to achieve at life, because after all these years gambling you lose track of yourself and direction. All your interested in is that next bet.
My girlfriend has control of my finances and I'm ready to self exclude from my betting sites.
I know I will struggle during the festive season with all the good horse racing and football but it has to be done.
I've attended GA in both England and America. Whilst I was in the states I visited a meeting at least once a week. I managed to stay sober almost 1 year, and I know this was achieved due to the meetings.... The meetings make it 🙂
I've moved recently moved to Scandinavia and I'm almost 100% sure they haven't GA here, which is such a shame. I would so love and feel the need to be at one.
I'm really intrigued by the 1 on 1 councelling, I need all the support I can get.
We've just had our Christmas lunch at work and are now on holidays until the 2nd of Jan 🙂
I'm gonna hit the gym now and get those endorphins pumping. I'm still heartbroken about all the money I've just thrown away when I think of what I could of bought for loved ones for Christmas. On the other hand I'm already thinking how better off I'll be next year without gambling.
This is the last Christmas I'll ruin!!!
We're on this journey together, I hope to eventually encourage others and follow along with you all x
A quicker way to exclude from ur betting sites is to join gamstop, when I joined I literally closed them all
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Hi Diary, start of day 2.
Usually my Saturday mornings would start by reading the form guide and tips magazines. Would always convince myself, this week I'm gonna hit big. It sure will be a change today not being stuck in front of the TV or if out constantly checking results on my phone.
I made some huge positive steps yesterday, I self excluded from all my gambling sites. It was an instant weight lifted off my shoulders. i've known this has been coming for a while but I've been reluctant/scared to exclude. Ive lived for gambling for 20yrs, my money has always been gambling tokens. I'd convince myself life will be boring without the thrill it, how will I watch sports or follow horse racing? We'll maybe it's time to get some knew hobbies.
You have caused your loved one so much pain and suffering. It was a joy to see in her eyes after I self excluded. Her telling me it's all she's ever hoped and prayed for.
This Christmas will be special one after all x
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