One day at a time.

Well I haven't posted on this for nearly a year now and I'm happy to report that I am still gamble free, 2 years, 3 months and 1 week since I posted my first message on here.

I have now learned that I really don't need OR want gambling in my life and I've managed to change my life for the better. I'm probably drinking too much right now, but it's not destructive, just a bit too much socialising! It's expensive, but nothing like gambling was to my bank balance and my mental state.

I will of course stay vigilant and not lull myself into a false sense of security. I want to thank again all the people who helped me on here, it was truly invaluable in me getting to where I am.

Still living by the mantra - one day at a time. Still working.

Until the next time.....

I remember you from first time around! Thanks for coming back and telling us, always nice to have a good news story

Cheers, Milky!

Feeling good, I'm hoping to hang around here for a while to see how people are getting on.

Hey Scott and thank you for popping in and saying hi and for your kindness xxx

Great to see you are living life and doing it one day at a time and still find time to come back and to hear you are going to stay a while ..I'm still here chunnering on ..lol

You probably have lots of diaries to find and bump up from back in the day ...happy reading xxxx

First update in 3 years. Can I say that I've been gamble free throughout that time?

Unfortunately not. I've had the occasional wobble and it's cost me a few quid. Luckily I've been putting so much away in savings I can't touch, that it's limited my losses. Still, I've been disappointed on the handful of occasions (3-4 times) that it's definitely had an impact on my health. The last time was about 6 months ago, lost about £800. The money isn't the problem, it's the frustration and anguish it causes. I'm in a very good place right now, so I still get the occasional urge, particularly when I've been drinking. The idea of heading to a big casino in central London seems very attractive when I've been in the pub all night. Have decided to cut down on the alcohol front and it's going fairly well.

A big thanks again to the fantastic people of this forum that helped me at my lowest ebb. The diaries on here really did change my life. I'll never be perfect, but this place gave me the motivation and inspiration to improve my self. It's worked in the main, my life is very stable financially and relationship wise and I've got very little to worry about. Still...I've gone back to the one day at a time mantra and it's working well. I think after a while, I had stopped thinking about gambling and it's effects - which is very dangerous. Onwards, my friends.

All the best,

Scott

I think I've come back to this forum because of my worries about returning to gambling over Christmas. Historically, it's something I've done because I always go back to my hometown at this time of year. My perception and sense of responsibility changes. Well I'm not doing it this year, I'm just going to enjoy the time with my family. I'm enjoying the fact I have money in the bank, in savings. I don't want to beg borrow and steal just to pay my bills. Sod that. I've got £100 in my wallet right now, think I'll give it to my Mum, so she can buy presents for my neice and nephew.

I'm GF since my last post in this diary in November. I think the last time I actually gambled was May. It was during my lunch break at work. "Won" about ВЈ2k at blackjack, then managed to lose about £3k. Stupidity. As I've said before, it's not the money, it's the fear, the dread, the self loathing, the anger, the depression, the pointlessness of it all. As the Who sang once.... We won't get fooled again. Stay strong folks. One day at a time.

Had a few thoughts about gambling today, but not enough to do anything about it. Decided to stay off the Internet (my main source of gambling threat), other than to post on this. I feel strong enough to defeat these tiny cravings. For now at least.

Keep going Scotty lad!

I see that you had a very long spell gamble free a few years back. Let's get yourself back to those glory days! Set yourself small targets. 7 days. Then 10 days. Then 14....

You can do it buddy!

Anything is possible!

Thanks, Moorey. One day at a time is what worked last time, it's working again. I'm just glad I have somewhere to record what I'm feeling, instead of just giving in to these thoughts. Each post I make here helps me to not gamble. I'm feeling good, I will not gamble today.

I just knew something was going to happen. Two days ago, I came back to London from a Christmas break in my home town and stupidly forgot my keys. This meant I had to wait 3 hours for my girlfriend to get in from a different train. This meant I had time to kill in Victoria station. I spent the first half hour looking for extra presents for my girlfriend, but couldn't find anything suitable. As I walked along the way, I saw a betting shop. I went in. I'll just kill some time by playing low stakes blackjack I thought, my usual nemesis. I 'won' about ВЈ100, before losing it. Despite having ВЈ200 in my wallet, I stopped once I'd lost about £80. It wasn't the money, it was the fact I found myself in this gambling hole again. I was furious at myself. Did I stop? Nope, I went home and gambled online for an hour. I covered my previous losses and then stopped. There was no happiness or satisfaction at 'winning', as I felt dreadful. I have now self excluded from the online casino, probably about the 20th different one I've self excluded from. So here we are, I'm back to square one. Not financially damaged, but mentally drained. Can't do this again.

One day at a time.