online slot stupidity

Thanks Dan - it's unreal isn't it how all the lyrics seem to completely relate to gambling?

It's the background music for an advert now, not sure what it's advertising but the words always seem to stop me in my tracks and make me think.

Tonight I have treated myself. Yep, went to Blockbuster, got a couple of DVD's out and then the pick 'n' mix caught my eye. Straight away I dismissed it and thought £3.79 for a cup of sweets - I don't think so !!!

Then, I thought of playing £3 a spin on the slots without a logical thought in my brain.

It's been 13 days since I did that today so I thought sod it - i'm having those toffees....I deserve them lol

So, i'm gonna go now and scoff all those sweets with a glass of iced water - since alcohol is off limits 🙁 i'll be back tomorrow.

Hope I can get more done in respect of getting my business up and running - My motivation needs to improve, and I need to curb my addiction to this forum.

See ya !!

2 WEEKS !!!

I love this site !!!

Thanks everybody for your support so far and for helping me get to this milestone. In committing myself to this forum and reading the devastating effects of gambling, I know it would be difficult for me to go back to that dark, dark place I was at 2 weeks ago.

I intend to stay strong and hope I can be one of the many positive examples to others who want to eradicate gambling from their lifes.

I still get a buzz out of life, but my highs come from offering hope to people who are currently where I was. The high that I get from this fulfills me so much more on an emotional level than the temporary highs I used to get from gambling.

Onwards and upwards !!!

If I can get this far then anyone can xx

'til tomorrow xx

Hi all.

After all my positivity, I had a pretty hard day yesterday.

I Recieved another email stating that I could get a free £5 play, a 200% deposit bonus, and a 50% reload bonus if I joined up to a certain site.

Of course, my mind started running away with me - if I just deposit £50, that will give me £150 to play with..........I know ultimately where this would end. I also know that with the block I have put in place that I can't play.

I guess It just upsets me that I even started to contemplate it.... I never want to go back there - NEVER !!!

I know they will try every trick in the book to test my resolve, but I have to rise above it and above all else REMEMBER - It wasn't all rosy, it was hell on earth !!!

I was determined to get some work done yesterday, but I ended up on this site all day.

I read of people relapsing and having 'big wins' - this didn't help my frame of mind at all.

I read of some people really struggling but still refraining and recognising the benefits of not gambling.

I also read a thread of one reformed gambler who truly had almost every aspect of his life ruined. He is going to massive lengths to highlight the dangers of gambling and potentially stop other people falling prey to this addiction.

His post was such an inspiration and the courage he has shown has helped me strengthen my resolve..... I will not be tempted to destroy my progress so far.

16 days clean today and feeling a lot happier with my life, no way will I self-destruct !!!

Thanks for your support ! please keep an eye for me i start work at 5.30 am finish at 7.00pm instead of going home i go the betting shop after work i going everyday if one day i do not go in what a good start thanks

Hi Chan

Firstly well done on 16 days free good to see you doing well

I hope you don't mind me kind of hijacking your diary to ask a question, i really need to get a blocking software on my computer but really could do with out paying alot for it (even though i know i'd gamble more than the amount it would cost to buy one lol) but noticed that you are using k9 software and just wondered if it was any good, also has it caused any problems with your computer?

I'm currently on day 4 but really want to stop this time round things have got to change for me reading your diary gives me hope and has helped me alot

thanks

Jane x

Hi Baljit, of course i'll keep following your diary - I hope you manage to break this awful addiction. I can see you want to, and I know you will get there eventually, but please give the online block some serious consideration - It's almost impossible to beat this with will-power alone.

Thanks J,and well done on making it to day 4.

I also didn't want to spend a great deal on blocking software as we had 4 computers in the house and I had the option of using my Mum's computer as well - I definately didn't want to fork out for the software 5 times over.

K9 has been a lifesaver to me. Basically you download it and then you can block any sites you consider a threat and it protects you from accessing them. I was a bit dubious at first as I thought I would just be able to uninstall it. But, to do that you need a password.

As I got my partner to do this for me on all of the computers I had potential access to, I now consider myself 'safe'. Obviously, sometimes I get the odd urge to play, but I have to ride with my emotions because at the end of the day I can't play.

It has caused absolutely no problems with the day to day running of my computer and I would advise anyone to give it a go - I certainly haven't looked back.

Here is the link http://www1.k9webprotection.com/#self

Hope that helps J, and thanks for your support xxx

Told you I would check your progress! Hello from the sunny Canary Islands!

You are doing fantastic. I think you are nearly at the top of the hill...please keep going!

N xxxxx (so proud of you!)

Thanks Chan for taking the time to answer i will definately be sorting that out now just need to find someone to set my password.

hope you have a good weekend

thanks again

Jane x

Hi chan. Just wanted to say hello and well done. I've read your whole diary again (I wasn't compus mentus last week - well, still not, but I'm on the way) and again, you're inspiring me.

sw

Thanks guys.

I'm very touched that you took time out of your holiday to check on my progress cannotwin... that shows ultimate commitment to your recovery and i'm so so grateful for all your support.

I'm now 18 days slot free and 13 days alcohol free. Sometimes, the alcohol abstinence gets me down - esp. on a friday night. But, gonna keep it up a little longer just to prove to myself that I can.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend peeps

Chan xx

Hi chan,

Just a quick note because my daughter has stolen my laptop and my phone is rubbish at this...

Well done on your 18 days... You're doing great.

And how good does it feel to be able to give someone else advice? Would you have thought that would have even been possible just 2 or 3 weeks ago?

You've come a long way and don't forget it. Keep it up, life will only get better.

Sf

Hi Chan and thanks for the posts of support on my diary. I only got as far as your opening post on here (will catch up on the rest of it soon).

Online slots, casino games etc were never really my thing but its all the same demons they just try and get at us in different ways. My problem was sports betting and was threatening to bring me to my knees.

Good luck with your recovery I will follow your progress.

P.s watch out for this Sad Face chap he is a bit of a player. If he starts suggesting meeting up then contact site admin!!! 😉

(Joking obviously he is ok really - for a southampton fan!!)

Hi Chan,

My chins on the floor a little because I fly home tomorrow, but my spirits are lifted because you are still doing amazingly well. I promised to be with ya every step and I will keep it....am touched that you think am doing something out of the ordinary to follow your progress, but if anyone can help you, I can. Been it done it started the recovery from it. Your diary inspired mine, remember?

You can have alcohol without the desire to gamble. That's your next biggest step. I was tested here because my wife innocently brought a puzzle magazine which had an online bingo promotion. The hotel has free Internet. The article was about a woman who won a lot of money for allegedly little stake.

I was, frankly, close to it. You made me stop.

You are my inspiration! Keep going!!!!

N xxxx

Thanks SF and ROFL @ A38.

Cannotwin, I know what you mean about those magazines - I have started buying them every week to help to fill my spare time now i'm not gambling. There is always an advertisement for some bingo site, with a story about how somebody won about £26,000 from a £10 stake. It was enough to keep tempting me back as well, but after reading the diaries on here, it seems more likely that we will lose £26,000 and gain £10.

Well done for not acting on this urge cannotwin. I sometimes feel for these people who win such large amounts of cash because that is often the catalyst for compulsive gambling - they know it's possible to win big, so they can often get into large amounts of debt in the expectation it will happen again. I mean, imagine winning such a substantial amount of money from such a small stake - the adrenaline rush, the 'easy money' mindset that it instantly creates. It would certainly be hard to take the money and run, and I wouldn't be surprised if that site has had all that money back and more now. That's the way I tend to deal with the temptation these adverts create.

As for the drinking, I never really drank when gambling anyway. It's just that i'm on medication now to help with my anxiety and I have read some horrific consequences of drinking whilst on these tablets, so i'd rather steer clear at the moment.

Don't know how long i'll last out and I hate friday nights when every one is going to the pub, but it feels worth it now on a saturday morning when I convince myself that half the world is hungover. I have my day free to spend quality time with my daughter instead of lying in bed all day.

Anyway, that's all for now

20 days clean and starting to get worried about my addiction to this site lol

Chan xx

Chan, we are all with you!! You can beat this.... This saying springs to mind...."For one priceless moment all the people on this earth are truly one!!"......

Stay strong.

Easy li£e