Online slots...

Cheer's Martin , I knew it wasn't far away :))

But where are we going to partyyyyy....he's got no f/a !

Wasn't sure if that was Fixed abode or ef fin address :))

Mornin Luuuurvely :)) .

Thank's for poppin over it's alway's nice to hear from ya ! .

Glad to hear there's nothing to report , sometimes plodding along is just great isn't it ? , unlike our past years where weve been running around like headless Chicken's trying to juggle our gambling world :((.

I'm the opposite to your trade at the mo with all the navy and Royal marine lads back off leave and the Students have just returned as well , so a bit manic at the mo which will usually go on till Xmas now :)) .

Talkin of Uni's , was looking at " Wentworths posts " , it's nice to see him back but he ain't arff getting deep I just wondered if he'd taken a course on the Open university or something ? as no mention of Jason's Donnervan or neighbours :))) . xx

Life's all good at the moment but still taking it one day at a time and now making plans with Mrs Fish to go into the fostering more with her and hang up my chip scoop in the next 18 months or so , Scary stuff after 36 yrs of doing this !!! .

Anyhooz , I'll leave you in peace now Loxxie as there's Fish to fry :)) .

Talk to you soon honey

Love to you and your's :))xx

Gamcares very own Peggy Mitchell, just checking the score board and it says 655 so give or take 75 ish days off 2 years bet free ? Proud of you Loxxie I remember the day you turned up I think you and Claire turned up pretty much on the same day and she’s smashing it to. I’m sure the old man aka Alfred will be proud as-well. How’s life in general? I’m wondering if Oldham has packed his manikin for his holibobs? X

Lovely sunny crisp morning today peeps. ...the kind of day I'm soooo glad i stood up to my addiction and went to battle with it about 650 odd days ago...
I've enjoyed a coffee in the sun ..reading back my diary from last year this time...
I love to look back...just to see how far I've come...
In my very first post when I was broken...warped in a life of lies..deceit...juggling fiances ..blanking family and friend's. ...I remembering typing on here 'praying for my strength to continue"...
Well...know I can see that I built that strength...I made it grow...hourly at first. ..that's how hard it was to keep my addiction at bay...then daily...weekly..monthly....and so on...fighting all the time to stay away from those online slots...the place I thought id find the money to right wrongs....to live the life I wanted...to have the things I needed...when...as we all know....my selfish so called friend.." online slots" was only sucking me in further and further..
I can see now...how /why it all happened. ....and sadly so many more people are...and will...face the same traumatic times as I did....
But there is light at the end of the tunnel...
You've just got to fight with everything you got to see it...
Whatever and however it takes to get there doesn't matter....I know..as an addict I'll never reach the end of my recovery tunnel...but I'm happy as Larry walking though my life in my recovery tunnel...I'm loving the brighness of it. ....
The black tunnel of my active addiction time....filled in ...and as in very first post...my strength will continue....because I will always fight to keep it that way..xx

Loxxie wrote: one year ago today....i wrote this....felt great then...feel even better now.....so gratefull my strength continues....Sooo
Another week gone...blimey...times sure wizzes on now a days...
What's to report ?
Nothing really ....my addiction seems to be leaving me at peace at the moment....don't know if that's down to me...down to luck. ..or even the weather....and without sounding flippant....I'm just not bothered about the reasons....I'm loving the tranquillity in my head and heart..
Life's manic...
Garden starting to look great...hubby and me have worked well together this week...
Pub trade still amazing...lots of functions coming in the dairy
Little grandson doing well after his surgery...otherone got a lurgy..
Wonderfull to be 're investing cash into pub and so proud to have something to show for such long hours....
Found a boot of a carvery on eBay...logistics getting it from Bradford may be trickey...but I'll do it somehow. ..
And Christmas is coming.....first time in years I'm really excited...
So....life's good. ...but I'll take the credit for that....I made the right choice and kicked my addiction head on....into the gutter..
I know I laugh...joke. ..and may come across a bit casual about my addiction. ...but trust me I'm not ....I'm serious. ...I'll protect myself daily....I'll be ready for the b****r should he come knocking. .....stay safe Every body..x

Lovely little wall hanger my daughter gave to me recently..

"Only ever look back..
To see how far you've come "

She said she thought this was a lovely gift for me. ..
Sooo. ...to Any body feeling scared...ashamed...stupid..guilty..
About owning up to addiction...
Thinking family will disown you..
All ...of which I thought when i arrived here...
Things can be 're built x

Hi loxxie!

What a wonderful gift from your daughter! And it's so true. You have done so well! I relate alot to your story. As you know I too have been terrified to tell anyone. I still have not yet, I can't seem to find the words to tell my partner. I go to say it and no words come out. It's very difficult to explain.

Its amazing the support you have from your family and gives me hope to one day be the same. You should be so proud of yourself!

Hello dear diary....
Thankfully my addiction leaves me at peace....no urges no real thoughts in everyday life...I can watch the adverts on tv without feeling sick. ...I can see them for what they are...a very clever marketing idea for a product ...
I don't agree with them ...much like tobacco advertising years ago....and I genuinely would like to see them carry the slogan
"Can be highly addictive"
As for most of us here..."when the fun stops...stop "
Is far to little...and always to late..
But.....I can't change the world...only my world....and I've done that...and will keep doing it..
I never think of my losses...I've lost them...
I focus on my now....and even my tommorrow.....something that was totally impossible when I was playing the slots....
Life still sends me things to deal with...problems to sort...situations to manage..
The difference now.....I deal with them all...the best I can. ..I'll think things through...from all angles...and make a plan to tackle what it is that needs tackling...
My cash situation has obviuosly improved immensely since not playing slots....but so to has my value of that cash....appreciating how hard I work to make money...
And how best to spend it ....
I can see how /why I became addicted to the slots. ...how it was so gradual I didn't realise it was happening.....it does baffle me how I didn't realuse earlier that it was a problem....or had the potential ingredients to become a perfect storm....but I suppose that's the million dollar question...
When does a problem...become a problem.....anyway...that's just my take on it all...
Soooo Christmas is fast approaching. ....and that's fine with me....I'm not at all organised this year....by that's only because I've been so busy....I've got the means and the desire to sort as soon as time allows...so I'm happy with that....I can remember hitting the slots hard just before Xmas a few years back...playing away to win a fantastic lump some to sort everything...for everybody....got to two days before Xmas eve and it hadn't happened....can remember feeling sick to stomach....that even if it did...there would be no time to withdraw funds to shop etc. ...so just carried on till it was all gone...
Another year of pathetic excuses...lies...juggling etc. ..
It's quite sureal looking back....but I like to....just to see how far I've come...
I'm not perfect ...in fact I've got a long way to go to be anything like good old Mary poppins .but I'll keep striving each day to be better than yesterday....
So...out of the negativity of my online slot addiction.....comes the posativity of my strength to grow better and better....
Not bad progress....from a middle aged lady who arrived here months ago....broken and beaten by addiction. ...
If I can change....so can you xx

Hi Loxxie, am reading through your diary for inspiration and guidance as havrn't fallen off the wagon but just feel a bit lost and like time is standing still. But your journey is sound proof that the only way is forward, thank you S:)

So the big day is nearly here....
That's fine with me...for the 2nd year running im looking forward to it....
Pressies bought...wrapped...more importantly paid for...
Food. ...the same. ..obviously not wrapped ! Lol
13 family for dinner....not a problem....
And me...well thankfully my addiction leaves me in peace...
I can't ask for anymore than that. .
Soooo ..happy Christmas everybody....lots of you arnt feeling the festive spirit like I'm lucky enough to.....and I'm sorry about that....but actually it's not luck is it ?
It's about what you decide to do about your addiction. ...
You make some changes...and your life will change...
I did....and mine has ...
Lots of love..x

Haven't checked in since before Xmas. ..which was a wonderfull time with family ...manic..but heart warming...and no juggling of finances. ...
Supporting my mum at home at the moment...very early dementia. .and it's a privilege. ..pubs busy .
Kids and grandkids all well...
One daughter with wedding this year .
Other just separated from her man..
Hubbys health still on the right track...
So ...normal family life...with all the ups /downs that is part of being a mum/wife/daughter. .
Some days I wonder if I can fit everything in...do all the things I want/need to do....but I get there..
My head and heart are clear. ..
My addiction to those online slots leaves me in peace...and I can see more of the old me each day...and actually my strength and confidence has grown stronger and stronger since facing and fighting my addiction....but as always...I'll be keeping a look out for it rearing its dam ugly head..
I've just realised I've passed through the two year gamble free time....
Well ...that's a place I thought id never get to. ...
Arrived here broken and scared..with total panic as to how to get off the roundabout of addiction. ...
With advice from here...
Changes from me...
And admitting that online slots had beaten me to a pulp. ..
Life surely had to get better...
And trust me....it has...
Sooooo .....to anybody arriving here....feeling like I felt....over 2 years ago....
Make some changes. ..
Then life will change....for the better. ..
Xxx

Great to read your last post and I'm pleased you are doing so, so well, passing the two year mark as well, very proud of you.

Wilsy

Hi Loxxie great to see you doing so well all the best x