Online slots - Rock bottom!!!

I'm still free also Barney, not been easy , last 3 weeks the urges have come and gone, but I have K9 block on and I don't know the password so it would be futile me even trying to gamble. A few weird dreams about gambling still though. I am lifting money out each week and putting in a lockable tin. When I have week moments I open the tin to see what I would be throwing away

Keep going Barney....I too can't wait to kick 2016 into the past...Not long to go....

Keep coming here...Rant...Cry...Laugh...But keep coming, it's what's keeping me safe & I'm so grateful for others support.

Things will get better..They certainly couldn't get much worse eh? Keep believing, we CAN do this.

M x

Hi Mel,nearly at 20 days...keep going. Think yesterday I read on here somewhere, put your energy into changing what you can, and accept what you can't, but don't waste energy on it. You can't change the fact you have debts, just how you choose to deal with them and how you let the thought of them affect you. The important thing is that they are not getting bigger. Death certainly brings into focus what matters in life...making other people happy at Christmas will bring you happiness too.

Thanks All! lovely words of support and just what i need today.....

I am off work with the lurgy at the moment, i am home alone, i have cash in the bank (not much!)....do i have urges - hell yeah! but i am NOT going to gamble what little cash i have left on some stupid belief that this time i will win, god give me strength to kick this hell addiction into touch!

X

21 days = 3 weeks ! i thought I read somewhere that that's how long it takes to get the habit out of your system ....not sure I agree ?? But anyways, bring on 2017 !!

Day 22

Still detest gambling and everything about it. It almost feels like a raging fire that won't simmer down!

My partner is off work with me now so little time to look at my phone or laptop, I have started to read again!

Today I choose life xx

Hi Barney, good to hear you are still fighting! Your story sounds very similar to mine. I too was addicted to online slots, have been for ten years but I'm now 58 days gf and loving life! I've got an amazing man in my life now who I love with all my heart and I don't want to do anything to ruin it!

I'm in the process of setting up a debt payment plan with StepChange, just thought I'd tell you incase it's something that you might cosider?

Things are far from sorted but today I'm gf and tomorrow I will be too. I also choose life.

Keep fighting the good fight. Take care of yourself GTxx

Still free and still struggling at day 23 ... But we can and we will because we owe this much to our families x

It makes me sad and unsettled by how many of us have been sucked in by these companies !!

We absolutely owe it to our families to stay gf and keep choosing life! I really didn't like the person I had become when gambling and my new partner recognised my behaviour and was very unsettled by it - I never got angry or mad for questioned my hours spent 'shopping' on the net via phone or lappy - I just resented me, and the fact that I was making him insecure about whether i was up to something !! Urgh....!!

Day 23, today I choose life! Xx

Barney, great posts and great to see you so resolved to choosing LIFE !!!!

Have a truly fantastic Christmas; you and your loved ones!

Hey Mel, thanks for stopping by on my diary...We can change, we can start to like ourselves again, we can be the people we were born to be...Gambling causes nothing but despair, self loathing, debt & wrecks lifes ...We are CHOOSING not to gamble...

We are CHOOSING life!

M x

Mel,
Sounds like we have a few things in common regarding slots.
I also feel i have hit rock bottom. I also don't like the person I have become. I'm also in loads of debt.
More importantly, I also want to stop. Stop digging this murky hole that's taking me deeper and deeper into despair and start living again.
Not sure why I've written this. Guess reading some of your posts makes me think you have similar thoughts to me. I feel like I'm not alone in feeling the way I do.
Anyway. Hopefully we can get through this and come out feeling so much better in ourselves.
Here's to a happier future.

Hi Diary,

so, its new years eve...tomorrow is a new start of a blank page. I will enter 2017 with 30 beautiful gf days under my hat. i have had some almightly f****ing lows and some highs this month. I have sat this morning trying to get on top of my debts but its gone crazy now....credit score - 0!! so no hope of borrowing anymore but more and more of the same c**P...well, i will dig myself out the most important thing is that from now on i am not gambling and will never ever look back. Yesterday, i was alone in the house as my partner had gone out from some drinks with friends. Historically, i would had loved this time to log on some gaming website and lose £0,000!!!! chasing losses for the never incoming big win...whos the idiot, oh yeh me! 🙁

Anyways, i resisted the urge last night, a month on i still feel physically sick at the thought of gambling and loath the companies that have robbed me of my self respect, dignity and parted me from huge amounts of money...sick, sick sick

So heres to a better 2017 to all! I choose LIFE!!!

Day 32.

Day trip to Edinburgh with my partner in crime who I love so so much. He's been there for me in so many ways and he will never understand the dark place I was in when we met. But I am not going to look back now, only forwards.

Managed to sell some bits and have money to put in the bank tomorrow which will help with the debts I have.

Onwards and upwards 2017, I am choosing life!!

Sounds like a good day Barney...over time you will reduce the debts...take comfort from the fact that you are now GF, so the debts are not growing.