Online slots - Rock bottom!!!

Doing great Bal and hope you enjoyed your trip to Edinburgh. Wishing you every happiness - one day at a time! 🙂

Thanks Rhoda and Mixer 😉 your supportive words are comforting for me 😉

Almost 5 weeks now since my last gamble, seems not that long ago. I read somewhere on here that it takes 28 days to get the habit out of your system but I don't still believe that this addiction (habit) is never gone, for me anyways...it's always there ready to pounce as soon as your guard is down. Gambling is all around us, my mum owns a share in a racehorse ! So I have to look deeper into why I choose to do this to myself...no appreciation of the consequences to me or those around me ...sickening, disgusting ...

Anyway as the new mantra goes - I choose LIFE!!!

Keep choosing Life Mel, we need to learn to like ourselves again, to forgive ourselves....It will take time and commitment but as Mixer says....We CAN and We WILL 🙂

Keep posting.

M x

Hi Mel, how's it going? 28 days definitely hasn't got rid of my urges, but one day at a time...we can do this x

Hey Mel...Just popping by to say Hi 🙂

Keep choosing Life!

M x

Hi Diary

Still gf! Just counted it will be 6 weeks on Thursday since my last gambling frenzy....and i loath the industry now more than ever before.

A face book friend today, printed a picture of his win on the lucky leprechaun slot chuffed to bits "£500 for a £1 bet! About time I had some luck" he said, it's funny when I saw that picture on my phone screen I thought about how much people brag about when they win, and by how much ....we all know on here what really happens in the end. Despite my horrific financial situation I actually never felt the urge to log on, or find a new website to gamble...I thought 'what an idiot!' ..,I felt sickened by the sight of it - the memory of the game (not one I played often mind!) but the thought of the addiction made me feel really strange - I almost wanted to comment telling him to withdraw and exclude himself from every website going but hey, I guess I can't judge everyone by my standards 🙁

Hey Mel....Big 50 tomorrow!

M x

Hi diary

I have relapsed. More blocks in place.

I am battered and broken, why do I repeatedly do this??

day 1 - time to talk

Sending you some kind thoughts as its horrible to fall and all the feelings that come with that.

What happened ? Did you break a barrier. Just wondering as you were doing so well... and you can do so again.

Stand upstraight and fight this. Talking is great, can your partner help you ?

Keep posting x

My relapse was down to my deluded brain believing that I could ease my debt by gambling.

I saw an opportunity, I had money in the bank and lost my willpower - I am total failure.

I don't think that my friends FB post influenced me, but it might have...God knows. My problem seems to be that I don't know what to do when I have some cash in the bank....i used to be so so so good with money, so sensible

Why did I have to succumb to this addiction, I feel like i will never get my life back.

Thanks Em and I will save myself xxx

Hi Mel... You've come back and admitted it, that had to be difficult so be proud of yourself for that!

I know exactly what you mean about having cash in bank....I had massive urges yesterday and almost crashed and i know it's because my finances are improving.... but I keep reminding myself the only reason they are improving is because I'm not gambling....It's s**t having the urges though, I really thought I was moving forward, yesterday knocked me back & reminded me we can so not forget where gambling leads us 🙁

Use your relapse as a reminder to how bad you feel right now... deep breath and start again.... with you all the way 🙂

M x

Hi Mel, you can do it, you will get your life back. Just take it odaat, resolve each day not to gamble cos you know you can't win. You have lots of support on here x

Hey Mel, sorry to learn of your relapse but as previous posts state, you had the guts to come back and admit it, learn from this and move forward with more positivity and resolve. Your friend might have won 500 for a pound but how many pounds had thy spent previously? We all on here know the answer to that, take control of the future and make it better for yourself and those around you, it's going to be long and hard but worth it x best wishes

Hi Diary,

I am at work at the moment and just caught sight of your comments - thanks to each and everyone of you for taking the time to post on here, I really need u all, I really do - this choice of life is a living hell

Will post again later xxx

I'll be watching for your posts Mel... stay safe. Choose life (remember?). You can do this....We can do this 🙂

M x