If I could bottle the feeling when I lose on the roulette I would be a very wealthy lady! The guilt humiliation shame deep gut wrenching pain I get in the pit of my stomach where I just want to curl up in a ball and die is honestly the worst feeling in the world for me.Iv been addicted to the roulette machines for about 10 years now,the addiction has been at his all time high for the last 5 years and the last year i have been trying to stop and managed about 60 days maximum then I fall back into the cycle and lose thousands of pounds i don't have and have to work 70 hour weeks to get the basic foods and living essentials for the next 6 months just to pay back the payday loans I took out to gamble! Iv done some thing I couldn't even tell you to get moeny to gamble. Iv lied through my teeth to every member of my family and had to lie to cover my tracks with regards to money. I'm a compulsive gambler so once the butterflies are in my belly and the thought is in my head there's no stopping me.
I recently lost over one thousand pounds in an hour and I just don't know what to do about the money I lost. I'm already with stepchange from previous gambling so I can't add the new payday loan onto my plan as it will void my agreement with them. My wages that I have coming in don't cover the cost of my basic living my rent and council tax as well as food and a payday loan. So I have asked the payday loan for a 30 day break which they have agreed to but I'm unsure of what to do with my rent and council tax I can't afford to cover them both. I'm not in a position to lend any money and I'm up to my eyeballs in debt.
On a more positive note in 6 days gamble free and feeling so determined this time. I have at least 30 bookies within a 2 mile radius so self exclusion is difficult and because of my job I have to handle cash regularly on I'm using sheer will and determination to beat this addiction.
I know I can do it i don't have a choice I will lose my whole family if I don't.
I wish I never went on a roulette machine when I was younger my life would be so much better now
Hi Purple, welcome to the forum 🙂
Firstly, I tried sheer will & determination for years, it isn't enough! There is a self exclusion line for bookies on Oldhamktf's threads (he was approaching 100 shops excluded from as he approached his 1st year gamble free I believe), don't let addiction fool you into thinking there are too many or that this time, trying the same old thing will be any different. You need help to change your mindset either through counselling or GA & stop kidding yourself that you can do this alone. I can understand the reluctance to tell your family, ask for their support (physical not financial), admit you've been lying to them but sounds like your world is about to come crashing down around you with a pay day loan on top of a debt repayment plan & you don't want to put yourself in a position of doing something criminal to get by.
It will feel hopeless, it may even feel like the only way out of this mess is by gambling but it's bull & you know it, we cannot win because we cannot stop. Don't listen to the rubbish addiction whispers as it sucks out your soul. You can't wish this away so admit defeat, draw a line under your losses, hold up your hands & get help so that you can hold your head high again - ODAAT
Hi Purple I second everything ODDAT has said and welcome here. The debt is bad but there is always a way to resolve it can you go to Council Tax dept and admit truth to them so you can get breathing space and so you can pay your rent first? Just try and deal with the immediate problems and take it one day at a time. You'll never win gambling because you can't stop even if you win you'll think oh if I just put some back in I'll be able to pay even more off my debts. It's a lie the gambling voice will try and tempt you with false promises. Let it go and like ODDAT says draw a line once and for all under the losses you'll never get it back from gambling. Keep coming on here hun I wish you all the very very best Lu x
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