PROBLEM GAMBLER

Life is definitely a journey. If you'd have told me three years ago that I would have a gambling problem and that I'd be caught up by it for the best part of two years, I'd have laughed. Yet, that happened. I'm still at a loss as to why we make such bad choices sometimes. I was very cocky at first with my gambling and naively suckered myself in as a means to escape all the stuff that I'd been through the years before, I believe. My thinking was very skewed and fuzzy during this time. Particularly, the year before I first gambled, where there were two deaths in the family, both unexpected and very painful.

When I'd gamble, I often had a 'What the hell' 'everything's insignificant' attitude and just lost the ability to care for myself and my wellbeing. I was apathetic and very depressed, in hindsight. How lost I got makes me appreciate things more now however. There was much to learn from messing up.

Just learn from it all, I guess. Getting out of the habit/addiction is all a mindset. It gets a hell of a lot easier down the road though. Soon enough you'll be able to just be comfortable knowing that you don't need to gamble anymore.

Stay strong.

Thank you so much for your post...it is really appreciated. You should come first in your recovery and give it a shot.

You doing great..be proud.

Life is a journey...so enjoy good things it offers

S x

Thanks here goes another day with no gambling

Not having a good weekend but hey that s life need to be me feel like rubbish no sleep son stayed on his computer until 2 30 am then I stayed awake to make sure he slept feel like I need to run away but can t go no where to go and no money to go with

rambling again sometimes helps to read what you think even if makes no sense to anyone else and at moment nothing makes sense so I ll just have to see where life takes me no gambling for another day

Don't be too hard on yourself. In my early posts I rambled on like on like anything. I think it just eases the burden on your shoulders if you just get things out sometimes.

Stay strong. You're doing really well. It might still feel like a bit of a trek, but as I often repeat, it gets easier along the way.

-Alex

Now just breath in...and out....in...out...it's ok darling, recovery is full of surprises..we have good days and bad days....so is life..not surprising.

Writing helps a lot, and this addiction is put together from all different life factors..so that means, you can talk about anything you like. And take away from diaries what helps you. If i was talking about gambling day in day out...i would think of it more. I try to find the medium between this addiction and real life. We are all people here, have feelings...anger, happiness...nobody blames each other...we try to support each other. It is not easy road...but worth going darling.

Yes, some diaries affects me too...but about 95% is helping my recovery...i am sure it will yours too...as i said take out what is helping you.

You can do it. Brighter days will come..stay calm and keep doing what you doing..it works

Take care

Be kind to yourself

Sx

Thanks really having a strange time at moment and trying to get my head around different things have gambled but have gambled less hope every one ok and achieving there goals still knitting like mad got to knit another jumper and decide on toy to knit .

Try not worry yourself about the slip, Digglesnan. Just remember, should you get the urges again though, come here instead. It's still early days, but it will get easier. I know it can be hard sometimes, as I think during those early days we have issues with the idea of letting go of gambling for good. You need to think over that one. You're best just putting it behind you.

Take each day as it comes and try to set yourself a milestone or goal.

Knitting is far better alternative though, I must admit. 🙂 Though I'm hopeless at it myself lol.

Alex

Hi diggelsnan,

Thank you for your message. I am glad that you are finding some breathing space with yourself. Fresh air is well good medicine.

We fall we stand up...we trip...but we keep trying.. that's what matters.

Take care and be kind to yourself

S x

Thanks for posts made me smile also for finding the time to post as I think it helps alot of us to know people care enough to encourage us on our journeys.

dear dad I know your not well but I have issues of my own to deal with and feel that I can t or maybe its won t deal with yours you and mum have not been there for a lot of my life you too wrapped up in yourself enjoying yourself getting drunk and disappearing for weeks at a time when I was a child you weren t very nice when you were there smacking us you even smashed my head against wall in a drunken temper to which my mother made me write you a letter saying I loved you being a child I did as I was told when I was growing up you would never tell anyone what happened you were frightened you d get hit again. I remember you jumping out of the bedroom window on to porch then to front garden in your underwear .my mother use to hit me too usually because you upset her but even after being ignored by you for years I still came back always being told how great my sisters and brothers are and my nieces where .I m the one who sold my freezer because you spent money that wasn t yours so you wouldn t go to court for stealing which is what you did I was the one who bought food every week and went with out so my siblings and you had food never thought for a minute I don t care. my problem I always cared to much .you driving to see my nephew because you have to see your grandson well you didn t care about seeing my children I have heard you say I don t care so many times and heard this when you haven t put the phone down properly or my mother ringing and saying I don t want anything to do with you or your family for no other reason than you wanted to be horrid to someone my mother treated my children as she says we as children were treated by her mum she bought my sisters dogs presents for christmas but couldn t afford presents for my children .So just for now dad I m taking a leaf out of your book and putting me and my family that being my children grand children and husband were I should have done a long time ago and put them first always .Hope those you did everything for do everything for you now I could write loads more but for now this will do just seeing it written in black and white helps .

Hi digglesnan,

I am glad to see you are using your diary to vent your emotions out. I am the same.

Not the easiest childhood by the sounds of it my friend. sometimes it's hard not to blame parents for showing us back roads in life instead of steady ride upwards. But we each are individuals and take the turn when we grow up to better ourselves. parents are root of education and discipline. not all are lucky to have that comfort and safety feeling while growing up.

You made that turn in life my friend and i can tell you are a emotional person which gone through thick and dark times. You and your loved ones are most important people digglesnan. You are the one to make that choice and better your life. Don't look back ( i know it's hell easier said than done) but you have today to concentrate on and so on.

Feel your pain and anger, sorry for ramble, even i can't put some heavy stuff on my diary and i dumped loads of it already.

Keep it up and keep venting..put all the cr** down darling, shared pain is half pain, shared joy is double joy.

Thanx for sharing

(((((( D N )))))))

Sandra x

Thankyou so much for posts I actually almost deleted my post and then decided although I will never tell them how they have made me feel I will post and vent as it is theraputic excuse spellings .thanks again to everybody who post on here and reply to posts it really helps us all.

Strange how writing things down help you get some perspective on things . I guess there s lots I want to say but never will to the people I should but at least I ll get all or should I say most of my thoughts out and that is probably the best therapy for me at moment .