Quitting on the back of a win / My Recovery diary

My new job is going well, it's basically just walking around in the sun for 4 hours a day, gives me something to focus on and keeps me fit. Also people you meet are polite which has suprised me really.

I'm not gambling in the week any more and havn't since my time away at the seaside. I did waste £15 on gambling last weekend but that's not too bad as i didnt drink alcohol so only spent £20 friday/saturday (some of my mates think nothing of spending £100 on booze on a night out)

I only struggle to not gamble on a saturday night now so if i can wipe that out then i can cut down what i waste on gambling totally.

Thus ends my latest report.

Hi Fatuesque,

Slots have always been my passion from a very young age, until now at 40 years of age.

It's extremely difficult to beat any addiction, unless a person is 100% commited and even then it isn't always possible.

Every person is different and like others here who go months without a gamble then do, I'm exactly the same.

I found that at the beginning of my attempts to completely quit, I stopped gambling completely and made sure like on this site I posted up regular reports on another site I'm a member of.

I also set up a savings account online, which gave me no access to money from a cash machine.

I worked out exactly what I needed for the month guaranteed i.e. bills etc and gave myself a small fun budget.

I would transfer all other monies to the saving account.

Believe me just one month of doing that and I saw just how much money I was gambling away.

I found things got easier after the first month and continued to do the same each month. Posting regularly on the same website, but putting all monies away from me.

Here I am 28 months down the line, still doing exactly the same thing, restricting spare money available to me. I have saved thousands and paid off thousands.

BUT like I said earlier the gambling bug still exists in me as it does with many here. I generally gamble £10 a week online and 2 or 3 times a year have a big blow out of £200 - £300 in a casino on or offline.

I myself have come down to the feeling I will never be gamble free, but I focus 100% on restricting my gambling and now have another addiction to saving and generally seeing how little I can spend a month.

Good luck with your journey to a gamble free life.

Hey,

Thanks for commenting, sometimes i wonder if anyone actually reads what i post (not that it matters much as it's therapeutic anyway)

It sounds to me like you're on the right track and you've gotten back to a "normal" level of gambling.

You say you don't think you'll ever be gamble free but hardly anyone is in this country really but there's a big difference between gambling once a week on the lottery and blowing every penny u have on gambling.

Personally i feel bad when i gamble but the precautions i take the reduce losses etc mean even when i slip i lose less and can't chase.

Tonight i stayed in and didn't go clubbing as i only gamble on a saturday night nowadays so thought not going out paves the way for a 2 week gap in gambling. I bought a pizza instead which probably cost the same as i would of lost at gambling lol (i suppose i'm just an all round miser when it comes to money)

Even if a person can't stop totally i think lessening the losses, removing the ability to chase and increasing the gaps between gambling is a great way to cut down the damage gambling does to your life.

Good luck 🙂

I find my gambling is pretty much under control, but the gambling demons still exist in me.

I still 2 or 3 times a year, lose £200 + in a gambling session and the horrible feeling of wasting money hits me everytime. Even after losing the £10 weekly gambler, I still get that sinking stomach feeling.

In all other ways though, I too have become a miser when it comes to money and that is my main addiction I now have, spending as little money as possible.

Pizza's are out for me though, as I'm trying to lose weight lol.

Mine are under control right now too, i had some urges today though. I've noticed that i only get them when i'm stressed which helps me to ignore them.

Today i went into the local council and they told me that my new job means i'd be better off not working the 16 hours a week as it just means i'm working for the same that i was already getting on benefits so that's where the stress came from.

I have lined up a 2nd job which might be enough to sort me out but i hate feeling penalised for getting off my a*se and working.

Keep up the good work folks.

Hi Fatuesque,

Seems like you're doing ok even though you are still gambling a little.

As for the Job, well done and don't listen to anyone that tells you that you are better off not working!

Even if the amount of money you get at the end is no different a job is not just about the money.

Don't forget from working you get;

Out of the house.

Meet people.

Self respect.

All of these things lead to a better mental state and that is something no amount of benefits will ever be able to give you.

And I dont care what anyone says. Money you earn is worth far more than money you are given.

The attitude of the person that said you'd be better off on benefits is everything that is wrong with the massive welfare issues in this country.

Keep it up, and hope you can find that 2nd Job to put you in a better situation.

Take care,

SF

One thing i got from my new part time job is a tan, i'd never had one before ! lol.

You're right though. I enjoy getting out and about.I've got a 2nd job lined up i'm just figuring out how to fit it all in.

My gambling is getting better, i'm only really vulnerable in the club on a saturday night now and have taken steps to counter it all (though my mrs watches me like a hawk anyway lol)

I'm thinking if i can make it to a month with me only having lost the £15 the other saturday night it'll be good, cos i would of spent that on booze otherwise anyway but i didnt drink that weekend (the twisted logic of a gambler is still there...if i don't drink it gives me more cash to gamble with etc lol)

On the night i lost i didn't take much cash out with me and no cards so i'm defending myself a bit better.

Anyway stay gamble free and thanks for the comment 🙂

Still not gambling.Will be clean 2 weeks on Saturday.

I had urges today and had the old "i'll just withdraw £10 and gamble with that" thought but didnt go through with it.

Not sure where the urge has come from though really. Probably just lack of sleep that caused it.

I sorted my 2nd job so next week i'll be working enough hours to make working pay so that's good.

I'm a little worried about saturday night, i hope i dont get preoccupied with thoughts about the fruit machine in the club and just enjoy the club itself. Will be leaving my cards at home etc and the gf will be with me. I hate gambling in front of her.

Hi Fatuesque,

Read through your diary,and you remind me of when I was young, and 30 odd years later I wish I had had your mindset to realise there IS a problem. This is always the first step to doing something about it.

I used to wait for g/f to have toilet breaks then be straight over to the machine for a little fix, when I went the bar I'd make sure I got plenty of change so I didn't run out(only 10p slots in the clubs in my day). I've done everything you have & a lot more, including ruining good relationships cos I was totally preoccupied with planning my nights out around fruit machines instead of spending time with the people around me. Don't wait for 30 odd years before you do something about it.

I wish you luck.

Thanks Paul,

Decided i'm going to avoid clubbing on Saturday night and go to the cinema instead (though it will cost more than i'd of gambled, i wont feel stupid for it after handing the cash over like i do with gambling lol)

I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my love life right now and i'm not sure which way to go. I think the stress from it is feeding my urges.

I'm quite new to this as you are, but reading all the diaries there are a couple of things that hit me & made me realise what I was doing.

1. blaming other things & events

2. self analysis-everybody with our problem self analyses, don't know why.

3. Justification-we all try to justify what we are doing,ie not drinking so I can spend on gambling.

I'm trying to pack it in because when I gamble I can't stop, win or lose, and if I can't stop I can't win.

Good luck with your relationship, I'm no expert in that field either, but if you enjoy each other's company then chill out & relax, there's no rush to do anything. Have a good weekend, we're off the pics tonight to see Pirates of the carribean.

Confession time, i gambled last night...only a pound and i ended up walking off with a tenner. Got drunk too but only spent a fiver on my night out (due to the win) so not a total disaster but it does mean i'm back to day one technically.

I know some on this site gamble down to your last penny and my gambling issue might seem tiny in comparison but i've gambled down to nothing in the past many times and my diary is me near my best trying to "finish off" this problem.

I am still on target to only of lost a fiver to gambling in the past month if i make it another 7 days without any major incidents and seeing as i've got 2 jobs in that time as well i see it as something good.

I'm in gambler mode today if i'm honest.

Because i gambled a little last night i have £14 in pound coins in front of me. I went to the shops earlier to buy food and paid on my card just so i could save the coins for tonight in town.

Sad really. The old "lucky pound" idea is in me...but it's never just a pound cos then the lucky pound mentality turns into "just one more" and "it's going to pay out"

I can't really not go out tonight as it's saturday but i'll leave my cards at home to protect myself. As i type all this i have pretty much accepted that i've lost this £14 already.

Took me 3 hours of solid walking to earn that money, plus the time it takes me to get to work and back etc. I'm in 2 minds about risking the £14 now i've thought about that.

I'll update tommorow, i will try hard to resist.

I feel stupid for typing all this really.

Well it was my lucky night tonight, put £1 in and got on the board with my 1st spin, got £5 then texted my gf and jokingly said i'd won the £70 jackpot...went back on it a little while later and then really did win the jackpot. I came off and noted it up, went on again later and got another £20. I went on a machine on another floor and lost £3 from a fiver i put in so thought thats enough and left the club but it was dying by then anyway and i didnt want to drink anymore (not at £4.60 for one bottle of beer!)

It's strange because i felt quite gutted about losing the £3 even though i was like £90 up at the time.

Now i just need to not put it back in like i did the last time this happened to me.

This makes up for the £40 ish that i lost at the seaside on holiday on 27th april (though i did expect to lose that)

Anyway i'm off to sleep 🙂

Ok The dust has settled.

I know the fruit machine will be on the take for a while now so no need to gamble so i'm going to go for a month off.

I'm on day 1 again now but in the past month i did a few decent periods of not gambling and i've gained financially.

Will be busy with work this week as starting to do more hours so wont have chance to gamble (i only really gamble on a saturday night and in one place, never online or in bookies as they always seemed rigged to me)

I should be ok.

Todays update done with.