Quitting on the back of a win / My Recovery diary

btw my gambling and drinking used to go hand in hand as id go out for a drink and end up on the fruit machines...or lose on the fruit machines and drink to drown my sorrows. I've not felt the urge to go out lately (too busy working) and so im nowhere near machines and only drink about once a month nowadays. Was never addicted to drink but it was occasionally part of the gambling.

Not gambled. Can't remember the small sum i lost since sept 25th 2011 without looking back at my posts now. Not sure how many weeks it is either really and don't see much point in counting. Long while though. Still get the odd urge now and then

doing great fatesque...a real inspiration ..keep walking the walk x

Thanks dotty 🙂 Still no gambling

I slipped on Saturday night and gambled. My friend who's not really a gambler suggested we go halves and have a go on a machine and i went with it, ended up winning £30 between us...was pleased with it, a few hours later the money had started to burn a hole in my pocket and i wanted more...anyway i played myself down to empty pockets.

I could of took the money home, been sensible and came home with around the same money i took out with me but no. I don't know what got into me really, i even went into a mode where i'd play a machine in a way where i knew it would kill me and was all or nothing (pressing start when on ? for anyone that knows fruit machines=game over)

I went quite a long time without thinking of gambling at all, just need to do it again. Losing £15 that i'd won in the first place isn't the end of the world. Burying myself in work to make up for my sins.

Can't win because i can't stop. Anyway im not sure how to think about this....did i lose £15 or just the pound or 2 i originally put in. It's an odd one.

Been clean since that saturday...sort of lost my job as the business is having financial problems and the boss hasnt been paying any of the staff. Theyre a month behind in paying me, i can't continue to work and not know when or if i'll get paid so i've had to make other plans. It's a shame.

Had to sign on today but i'm going to start my own business. I have it all planned out and i can do it. Turns out i would of earned more by just signing on than being out delivering leaflets for 30-50 hours a week...still at least it kept me fit.

Anyway i'm rambling...its a scary and exciting time for me.

Stay off your poisons folks 🙂

Spent £13 on gambling since 25th September 2011 and in 4 days it will of been a month since my £2 slip.

Starting my own business at the moment.

Still £13 since last September. Do tend to read this forum nowadays in a judgemental way.

Maybe time to take a break from here.

No gambling. Don't even have urges anymore.

Only put £3 into fruit machines this year. Was gambling £20-£70 most weekends when at my worst.

Not gambled anything since february 17th when i gambled £2 and lost the £15 i won with it also.

Gambled £13 at the seaside on Monday, stuck to the 2p machines and enjoyed it.

Another £40 at the seaside 10 days ago...Quite stressed lately as have started a business and though i am making a fortune i am also having to be in 3 places at once.

Hello Fat

Just been through your interesting diary, glad your journey is working out, good luck with your business and keep alert,

John

Still tempted by gambling...even if i do try and lessen it by sticking to small stakes. Not gambled recently but i do feel the urge.

I'm very stressed...the business i started means i'm walking 10 hours a day...though it is bringing in more than i could of ever hoped for. I need to schedule more time off as i've been arguing a lot with my gf over silly things just because i'm stressed.

Think i've only had 3 days off in the past month. My problem is that when i start doign well for myself i start to see gambling as a treat or a day out...when in reality it's probably the same logic heroin addicts use when using drugs. It's the same fix just by another means really.

Anyway that's my update - the business i started is earning a fortune...but i'm working more than i ever expected and along with more money comes the urge.

I suppose it's true what they say...even breathing is bad for you.