Re-building My Life

I think there is an element of compulsion, but I also think, maybe specific to gambling, their is a high proportion of intellectual activity in gambling addicts, and when we give up this mind roller coaster, we get easily bored and distracted, and no true clue how to pass the time that was once filled with minute by minute gambling.

Perhaps food is a way to relieve the boredom, or fill the gaps that our mind is craving. Dunno!

JuneBug81 wrote: Perhaps food is a way to relieve the boredom, or fill the gaps that our mind is craving. Dunno!

Yeah food over indulgence seems pretty commonplace in many people's recovery from what I've read and heard about (even during gambling days for many) so to me, it seems pretty evident that our minds have worked out a way to get a dopamine hit of some sort and pull the strings so our body carries out the dirty work for it.

For me and the crisps, it was clear that the dopamine hit was available, but the hits were tame and never enough as I've had much higher and harder hits in my time (eg from gambling)so in turn the mind would seek another hit, and again use the body as it's dogs body.

What I mean is, when I went for the crisps I would never walk to the cupboard and grab 6 packs in one go. Just a pack, then back for another then another... And so on.

I'm assuming this is the same for many others? It all comes down to the dopamine if you ask me.

I'll take a bag of dopamine crisps please 🙂 can Gary lineker and walkers create such a flavour 🙂

Dear Diary,

Having a nice day today. Went to the gym this morning and I’m playing football tonight.

Really looking forward to tomorrow. My team has a big away game and me and the kids will be going. This will be an all day event - away early home late. I love taking the kids to new grounds. They get very excited. Just need the team to get a much needed win.

Tomso

Dear Diary,

Great day yesterday.

Me and the kids had a fabulous “away day” where our team were fabulous, great result and the boys ticked off another new stadium visit for them. Made a whole day of it and everyone had a super day to remember.

Going to try going for a run today. I hope my knee can take it. I love my running - it does something for me but I’ve struggled for a full year now with a knee problem which has meant I’ve hardly been running at all. I know it’s the best medicine for me.

Tomso

Hi Tomso, I’m glad to hear that you had a great Saturday with your kids and that your team won. That makes an away day all the more special 🙂

I used to follow my team home and away but since I upped my gambling, I don’t go to away games anymore. It’s sad really as I always used to enjoy those away days, win or lose.

It sounds like you’re doing well mate. Long may it continue.

Dan

Hi tomso,

I am grateful for your recent support.

Like you say... running is excellent therapy in every way possible.

Regards...S.A

Dear Diary,

Today, I am in a happy mood. Life is better, the sun is shining and I am back in the mood for exercise.

At lunch time today I popped out to purchase a new pair of running trainers. If this relieves me of my knee pain it will be the best money I have spent in ages.

So I plan to go out for a run tonight and I am looking forward to this which is bizarre really since I have struggled to motivate myself to do this at night for a long time. As I said, I don't know if this new zest for life is down to the weather or the fact that I actually got out and exercised over the weekend. As a consequence, I haven't eaten my usual quota of rubbish today. Crikey, if only I could feel this way everyday.

Tomso.

Tomso wrote:

Crikey, if only I could feel this way everyday.

Tomso.

Hey mate

Well I guess bad times counter-balance the good times ie there will be bad times sometimes (like everyone) but in turn they will make the good times taste sweeter?

I guess the trick is how you respond to bad times... Accepting them as part of
the cycle of life as opposed to attributing them to hardship.

Who said life was just full of good times and all that :o) a liar that's for sure.

But yeah... Enjoy the good place you're in! :o) you deserve it mate... You've been helping a lot of people on here and supporting them so in turn its nice to hear you're being paid your dues :o)

Enjoy your run

Don’t want to temp fate however, new trainers, 4 mile run and no knee pain. I’ve endured a year of knee pain and lots of time off running. Surely it can’t be down to footwear.

Queue traineing montage and inspirational music

Swoosh....Tomso new hero!

I hope your running is back on track, forgive the pun..regarding the knees... Start slowly, don't over do it in the first few runs, and try to stick to even ground, not too hard... Or indoor track when you first start..

Look forward to the video montage promoting your new footwear 🙂

Dear Diary,

Thanks for the messages guys.

Went out for another run last night and feel great. This definitely puts me in a very positive state of mind. With the exercise I find myself eating better and healthier. All of this enables me to be in a better position mentally. Things don't seem so bad.

My running is giving me something else to focus on. Something healthy. It changes my mindset.

So, everything quite positive from me this morning.

Also, it amazes me the impact on the nicer weather, the lighter mornings and I cannot wait for the lighter nights. As you get a little older (not that old) the dark and cold winters can affect you. I really feel that in the winter its go to work in the dark, come home in the dark, eat dinner and lay on the couch like a beached whale.

Tomso.

Dear Diary,

I haven’t posted in the last two days. Both of these days I was feeling quite low and generally rubbish.

Today, I post this while sitting on my bed just out the shower after doing 90 minutes in the gym and I feel good, happy and positive. This is not rocket science for me. Do nothing wed/thurs feel bad do something good today and feel good. One day the penny will drop.

I often have a period like the last two days. I don’t have urges to gamble rather just an empty sadness of life is rubbish and what’s the point. I’m not particularly kind to myself and don’t take care of myself well enough during that time. I am overcome with a real laziness. Just can’t be bothered with anything - doing my work, preparing the night before, making a lunch, having a breakfast etc. Basically I just survive through the day by making the minimum effort. Obviously, I have to change this. Find a way to cope. Everybody has problems and I’m no different but how we cope with those problems makes all the difference.

I’m going to have a fab weekend.

Tomso

Yo, good to hear you are going to have a fab weekend. You are right in what you say about having bad days , everyone has days when they are not motivated or down, think I have them everyday in the winter lol. Don’t think there’s a manic cure, or forcing yourself to do something may not be the answer , maybe th3 body just needs the rest. Signing off , Dr Shiny lol 🙂

I've just read through this entire thread and it was gutting to read about the relapse after 4 years of abstinence and heavy roulette play since December. It serves as a reminder to us all that this is a lifelong affliction and 'one day at a time' really is so true. This horrible shadow will always be lurking over all of us and it is important to not let your guard down.

I see you go to the gym, this definitely helps from a neuroscience point of view too due to the dopamine release. If you can focus on improving the diet too, maybe you can put full focus into your health and fitness and might distract the negative thoughts lurking in those shadows.

Stay strong x