Reached Day 113

Hi

I posted the below in December and now I have reached day 113 , still getting the occasional urge to bet which I thought would have passed by now , how do you all deal with them ? 

Weirdly have had money (which isnt normal as would normally go on bets) and have spent on Xmas presents going out etc , the main urges are coming when I am a little down and with little money left for the month , you would have thought it would be on payday etc . Managed to deal with it so far it just hits at weird times .

I decided 113 days ago enough was enough , I had placed many bets over the years and never get anywhere as every win only spurs on the next few losses , which then feeds into the frenzy of trying to win it all back , the cycle is ongoing . 

The weird thing is even writing about it makes me think of the buzz of winning , rather than the pain and humiliation of losing which is why it makes it so difficult .

Fingers crossed we all get there .

Paul 

POSTED DEC 2023 

So after gambling for around 15 years I decided to give it a go at becoming gamble free after numerous times losing more money than I liked and becoming withdrawn and moody when not gambling or losing heavily .

I have been popping on here reading peoples Diaries and have got alot from them and they have helped alot .

My urges come and go , at weird times also , football is always a trigger but for the last 10 weeks I have been able to enjoy watching the games and not wishing for a goal or whatever .

I dont go to any meetings , I am trying to do it this way and see what happens , maybe that would be an avenue if I fall back into it . 

I have been in a hole so many times with gambling but managed to keep afloat without many people knowing about it including my Wife . It was getting to a point where it was taking over my life and really affecting my moods so I knew I had to try to keep it under controll .

It can be done but you have to take 1  day at a time , I can go weeks without an urge then 2 days with loads, its so hard and I dont think ur ever out of the woods with it , one bad day , one urge too many . I know if I do one bet then I will keep betting and lose alot of money so thats where my heads at . 

I am aiming for the big 100 days which will be just before new year , even thinking of that is scary but its what has to be done to make my life a better place . I have tried so many times previously and failed , this time I have had to tough it out , its not getting any easier but I am hopeful I can reach the target .