Realisation

Hi sh05, You can definitely self exclude from billy hills in shop. I did the rounds just before xmas, and they were just one of ten different bookmakers in my town,10 years ago there was maybe 3!!!!! Only business making money on the high streets nowadays, oh and poundland.

Hi SH05, welcome to recovery 🙂 You must do this now, don't end up like me, twice your age being bailed out unknowingly by my Nan on a number of occasions! Started small in the penny arcades but ended up on FOBT's despite early disgust @ setting foot inside a bookies! I agree with the above, you just need a passport photo & to not take no for an answer but I do believe you do need to do it instore! If your Dad is willing, you should give him control of your money again, until you are much stronger! You must break the Time-Money-Location triangle @ all costs, to remove your ability to throw any more of your life away by gambling.

Don't worry about long posts, the site can handle it, a few of us have tested it! There are also friends & family forums that may help your long suffering Dad!

You can do this - ODAAT

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SH05, you didn't gamble & that's all that matters! Yes, it was daft putting temptation in your way but just finding a space would not have guaranteed you slipping because you were thinking about recovery! I'm pretty sure the lack of a space would not have stopped you before so chalk this one up as a victory & pat yourself on the back! Many of us in the early days are only prevented from gambling because of the blockers we have put in place & that doesn't make our achievements any less commendable!

I know you asked Mark but I have self excluded from loads & loads of places! People have been stood by me when I have done it but no-one has ever said anything! You know yourself, when you are @ the counter you are in a gambling haze, focused on getting the next bet on in time/cashing a winning slip (being the FOBT or whatever is on the screens)/hoping & praying that your account will allow you just one more withdrawal that you barely notice anyone else unless they are holding you up! There is a form to fill in & I started taking them away with me & filing them in away from the shop then handing them in with my photos before scuttling off. I soon became an old hand & did it on the way out when the money was no more & my resolve was strongest. Some places are great & I have had staff asking if I really wanted to do another transaction & suggesting I self exclude (embarrassing)! Others scrap about pretending they can't find the forms. One thing that always surprises is me is the thickness of the binders...Lots of people just like us having to take these steps to get our lives back!

Day 2, done & dusted, welcome to Day 3 🙂

V

Sh05 like odaat says you ve got to do it take that temptation away. When I self excluded from my local coral I had locals coming up to me who I did nt know saying well done pal for doing it.Its a bit scary but once you've got one under your belt it becomes easier

C

SH05...Check out NT's latest thread of tips! Something there for your new trainers 🙂

I did the same last weekend, I've never known how to just spend money but I looked down @ the trainers on my feet this morning & they made me smile!

It's not easy but Day 4 is a fabulous start. Keep it going strong - ODAAT

V

Now that you ask, it's not something I have thought of for some time & yet I know without question it is the most wretched I have ever felt...

When my Aunt (great Aunt) was dying, I was looking after her one day, after a period of just sitting & watching her sleep which I'm not the best @, she woke up & asked me what I was doing. She said I didn't need to be there if I programmed the phone so that she only needed to press 1 button to phone me! I raced down to the gambling shop & no idea if I even put any money in but @ some point I looked @ my mobile & realised I had a missed call! My heart stopped beating as I rang her back & it took all her strength to answer, for no reason! We had tested the speed dial & it was a missed call from that, she'd never rung me 🙁 As if that isn't bad enough, I could not swear, that after speaking to her & finding out she was fine, I went straight back. It is choking me up writing it (but I have remained honest & intend to do so throughout my recovery) & although I had the chance to apologise & she forgave me I'm not sure I will ever forgive myself. In fact @ times when I have questioned my gambling, this has somehow been justification to continue as if I couldn't stay away for her, then nothing else could make me 🙁

I have other low points where I have manipulated money to my eternal shame but none so low as this that I could not even give the wonderful lady who gave me my childhood these few hours!

The shame continues but I will not let it define me & if she were alive, she would be proud of me because she gave her all to keep me happy! God, I miss her! Thank-you for asking!

J

Love it & sing along religiously tho' I know not one line other than the title now I rack my brains for it! I will indeed listen out for the words & update you! It looks like you're starting to appreciate the world again if you're actually hearing song lyrics which is wonderful...The best thing I discovered was the warmth of the Sun on my face! I know we don't have too many sunny days but it was woeful how I'd not noticed it for so long!

Be safe, stay strong - ODAAT

K

Yep, that sure sums it up!

Welcome to double figures 🙂

Glad to see you getting stronger, keep your guard up - ODAAT