reborn on the 4th July

Evening Castle,

Thanks for the comment on my diary, all support is apprecitated.

I think we are all in similar possitions some in better places than others so if we can take all the adivce and then with our own determination we will be this.

I will start tomorrow by getting my finances back into check and start planning for the futur.

Look forward to reading your posts

Shaun

Been 3 days since my last bet so glad I lost a 97 minute injury time goal in African nations cup normally I would be distraught as usual was desperate for the money but I wasn't reason why was I had already put my first post on forum and was ready for trying lo quit again I just laughed to myself and thought this is really it I can do this , if I had Wong was determined to keep my winnings but am glad I didn't have to go into that dreaded betting shop with the possibility of not walking straight out mainly because the person that walks in there isn't me I have read so much this last 3 days and the inspiration and motivation I am determined to post every day another aim for me is to slowly start confiding in people I trust something I didn't do last time I want to learn by mistakes and be gamble free for ever

Welcome to this very supportive place full of people just like you.

All the very best in your recovery journey - it's all about making the right choices for YOURSELF.

GT

Hi Castle,

I also started at 16 and am 45 now. 75 days gamble free.

I relate to what you say so much and remember my last bet. I wished it would lose but I had already made my choice win or lose. Losing is all we ever do in the end. Gamblers never win and winners never gamble.

I am sure you will find all the support you need here. Keep writing, keep posting, keep the faith. Believe man, it's over and you know it!

Best wishes buddy, IanB.

Thanks to both of u for the support

Been to the counsellor today tryin to find the trigger point to. Why I started gambling all those years ago concentrating on my relationship with my dad which basically there wasn't one don't get me wrong wasn't bad bad just don't remember. Doin anything with him just remember the slaps and cracks which I always thought didn't do me any harm brought me ur from right and wrong he never gambled nor did anyone else in my family , I really don't know whether this has anything to do with why I gambled or do we just have a first bet get hooked or is there underlying issues , however 4 days gamble free and still feel strong told my sister last night she was very supportive at this moment I can't tell parents and don't think I will I told my mum bout 15 years ago I had a bit of a problem and the response was awful just couldn't believe disappointed was an understatement not one dot of support she told my dad and lo this day he has never mentioned it I need no negativity in my life at the moment I am going to beat this illness once and for all

Hi Castle

Looking for why we gambled might not give you the answer you are looking for. What we do is start pointing the finger and excluding any blame from ourselves. Basically validating the reason why we gambled. You say you can't remember about your relationship with your father but you remember one or two things. This is key to your triggers if your thoughts surrounding your father are indeed your triggers. It is how you think about him now or whilst you were gambling. It isn't what actually happened. There is a subtle difference. You sound like you still hold a slight resentment as he has never acknowledged the fact you approached them for help 15 years ago. Not sure if this has helped or not just an observation on your post. Try speaking with your counsellor and exploring ways of changing your thinking next time you want to gamble. Wish you all the best and stsy close to this site it has helped me tremendously in recovery.

Thanks for the advice

At the moment I am torn bout counselling I agree it can be used as an excuse and often think I do and on the other side a lot is said bout trigger points in our life I think what I don't understand the most is the loss of control why can't I av put a 5 pound bet on win great walk away lose oh well never mind , after my 3 months stopping gambling I think convinced myself I can control this only sadly to fail miserably I am now under no illusions that I can't achieve that and av learned by my mistakes , been 6 days now still feel strong don't want to gamble I want to post more on others but feel due to been new here I can't and don't av the experience think it's just a lack of confidence that's my next target to be more supportive like others av been to me

Hi Castle

New posters on here are the most important people. It is people like yourself that make me realise what it is like in the esrly days of recovery and terefore makes me not want to go back. Everyone on here would welcome your input. It is not about getting it riht it is about telling people how you feel. It will do you good. Recovery takes time but does get better as you go along. So get posting now and write everything and anything that you feel needs writing. This is your journey about you.

Take care

Sounds like a few of us have a similar history. I also started at 16 and am now 44. This week was the worst ever having screwed up royally. I'm trying to fix things one step at a time. I'm sure you are, too.

Keep returning here. Keep writing. One step at a time.

Thanks again for everyones support

Felt a bit low last couple of days full of cold though and been stressed with all the snow , the first 3 months I attempted to quit sounds weird but felt so easy no urges no desire to gamble then just gave in after first urge , this time as the determination is still strong I can feel little urges which is niggling away at me it's not making me want to go out and gamble as I am not going back there as I know what will happen I guess it's just something this time that's different and will av to deal with goin to watch Chelsea v man u later but it is definitely harder to watch football now I love football but gambling seems to av ruined my appetite for watching it I really hope it comes back

Hi castle,

I know how you feel keep thinking in your head only a little bet whats the harm but hay mate thats why we are in this mess, we have to stay strong and not give in when the urges come try and do something to take your mind of it or come on here and post.

keep it up mate doing really well.

Shaun

Those urges will never go away. Even though I have been gamble free for a while now, I had some strong ones today but managed to resist them.

Each time you shout "NO!" to those urges is another barrier raised in your fight against those gambling demons.

Just keep repelling them away!

GT

Am staying strong got through today Sunday is always a tough day the week days are always easier with work taking all my time up just trying to keep myself busy when not working think need time to adjust , last time didn't think I would relapse now I know it can happen think that's why it's been playing on my mind , I will get there I av the strength to fight the urges just takin it one day at a time

Well done mate first weekend gamble free, thats an achivement in its self and you should be happy that you have managed to resist the urges. Weekends are hard like you said not working sat around not doing alot then thats when the urges come.

Take it easy keep focused and dont get complacent we will kick it.