reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle

Just want to say well done for your continued abstinence and you always have my support.

Best wishes

Thanks everyone

Really benefited from having a few days off from work had no contact at all and its surprising how much better I feel, went out for a much needed beer last night and feel the worse for wear this morning

Goin to match later not so super owls still not won these days I can laugh bout it when I was younger I would be distraught by what's happening down there but they av been that bad for so long now I'm used to it think there might be a spare ticket so goin to take jess as she keeps asking to go took her once b4 by half time she wanted to go had ate all crisps and sweets she too

and was fed up after that, if she goes think the I pad will be comin along to

Hopefully she will bring us a win still can't bring myself to use the luck or lucky word, luck just plays no part in my life now good or bad

In your life Castle it's hard graft that's played the biggest part in your recovery not luck ...

For that I am doffing my hat and as always and full respect to you ....

Through the good, bad and the ugly ..

R and D xx

Hey Castle,

As always thank you so much for your kind words on my diary. You are right we all seen the negatives of gambling, and i suppose that should be enough to push us through. But that's where the sneaky addiction steps in and shows it's ugly face.

By taking it day at a time we are showing how strong we can be and that we ARE able to survive without this habit. Believing in ourselves is a massive step forward and strong blow to the evil addictions face.

We can do it..we are all in this together and learning each day..seeing good and bad but dealing with issues head on.

I am proud of you!! Such a journey and you are coming out the other end. My honour to fight alongside you.

Thank you

Have a good day

Sandra x

Hi Castle

It's been a long hard road and still will have its bumps no doubt to learn to self preserve.

Maybe the pain it's involved has just been an illustration of how out of whack we were as people pleasers and it's taken this amount of change to balance things up and begin from a strong platform rather than try to live a double life and keep everything going ...

I'm now commitment phobic which is a hoot given my history in a variety of relationships ..but better late than never.

Another lesson I have learned also is the value of friendship . I think it's underestimated as when it's the opposite s*x it usually ends up going in another direction and gets messy..

I don't feel the same degree of guilt now about putting my needs first , I have the odd pang of course but nothing like it was.

Just the small things in life make me tick now xxxx

Castle,

Get Jess a season ticket and we will soon the see the once mighty Owls back in the top flight. I got my oldest son who is four a season ticket and he just messes about but as long as I have a never ending supply of sweets and crisps things are fine. His mum has been going mental at him every Saturaday night however becuase he won't eat any dinner.

Tomso.

Glad you enjoyed your break from work, you need it every now and again, only problem is you have to go back! Hope ya enjoyed the footy i havent been to a game in so long, gotta go again soon, cant beat being there and seeing it in the flesh so to speak. Take care buddy.

Thanks everyone

Learned a very expensive lesson yesterday I received my bill for my phone and I pad, gone way over the allowance for the I pad to the tune of 64 quid, so not a great day financially the only positive Is I won't gamble to try win it back as was my usual pattern, stayed calm spoke to an advisor and found out why had to up my plan a tenner but sorted now goin forward and downloade the app so I can monitor usage

So lessons learned once again yes expensive but not as expensive as from the past, just checked my usage for this month and gone over already and still 2 weeks to go b4 new plan kicks in so bad news for jess no I pad for 2 weeks how will she ever cope lol

On a brighter note match was amazing on Saturday jess didn't go in the end but had a fab day hopefully more to come!

Thanks for your post and well wishes to me. I'm better, though still not 100%. The advice thread was a great idea. Seems none of us can keep it to one thing, though! lol

Castle

Fella thanks for the kind words on my thread, they do mean a great deal, onlong this path we have choosen to tread there have been many come and go, too many back to full time gambling.

For us it has been more than just arresting the bet, it has been life changing.

It is without doubt a choice for life, I foolishly thought it lost the need for my attention

today I stare it in the eye once again from with in it.

This journey has been made better by standing by the side of folk like you.

For that thankyou.

Duncs stepping forard never back.

Thanks Carla Duncan

Duncan think u av handled urself admirably and still lead the way showing exactly to others what to do when a slip occurs, the shock it sent round this forum for me is the biggest yet but it just shows what we are dealing with it really can happen to anyone at any given time, the positives that will come out of this will help everyone I think everyone will be that little bit careful and not let complacency play a part

Read that S,A is nearly at a year gamble free which is a fantastic achievement got me thinking bout my own which I only had a vague idea has gave up counting a long time ago but couldn't resist and backtracked my diary and it was a nice surprise that 6 months is up next week but yes as much as pleasing as it is what does it really mean its no cure there never will be just shows some great control the triggers are kept at bay, the truth is they could come at any given time, the situation with overpayment for the I pad would once av been a green light to gamble simply as there would be a chance money could be one but past experiences tell me it will only end in misery

I av a compulsive nature and that will never change its part of me and always will be the key is now I understand as 2 years ago I didn't, I remember the 9 months I was gamble free yes it was great but it was tough urges all the time but the fear of a relapse was on my mind all the time and some days life was just not enjoyable, now I accept the situation I don't live in fear of a relapse it can and probably will at some point of my life going forward but its what I do after that I have all the tools the knowledge to get quickly back on track its just a case of swallowing my pride and admitting it

There's no shame in relapsing but were proud people and I know how much it does hurt when it happens ,honesty is and always will be the best way and as I always say the only person we are lying to is ourselves

Hi Castle,

What a fantastic post to read and so true. " Don't fight the storm, learn to dance in a rain" Love love love this saying..and even thought of it walking in a rain last night lol ( not by choice )

You are right, we have compulsive nature and shouldn't live in fear of relapsing. All we can do is try - and you doing just that my friend:-)

Thank you for being on this site ..you are huge inspiration:-)

Sandra x

Yo,

So very true , in fact wrote something similar on Duncs thread just now.

Hope Jess is enjoying the x , haven't watched it since the auditions , to busy playing candy crush lol

My latest addiction.

Take care

Laters

Shiny

Hello Castle. Thank you for your words. They really touched me. You're a great guy and another with tremendous insight into your own condition. Our inner strength is something to be proud of. You just keep continuing on this path. Follow your dreams, wear your heart on your sleeve. Always believe x

Good morning. Saturday 9th November 2013. It's no gambling day. Wait a minute.... Ain't that every day? They're my favourite days.