reborn on the 4th July

Hey Castle,

Coming by to say hi :-))

Never forgotten and terribly missed..

Hope all is good in ur 3d world and you are marching strong and certain steps towards peace and happiness you well deserve.

Take care my friend

P.s.could drop a line now and again :-)) just to say HI 🙂

(((((( Castle ))))))

Sandra xx

Never forgotten, always in my thoughts..

Hope life treats u well

(((( C )))

S xx

Thanks everyone

As I said I would post on important dates unless I felt the need to get help if life was starting to get tough again and gambling started to play apart in my life

Well today is 2 years and one day since my 1st post which I thought it was 2 years today but one day off I will forgive myself

As always been truthful and honest life has been very good to mesince my last post had very few urges at all and can say I feel the strongest I av felt for years and only not allowing gambling into my life has been the only way how its got better,

I left off with my last post with my concerns of my admittance to lottery scratchcards and the odd go on the fruit machine and the affect it could av on others and this wasn't what was right for this site and I still stand by that, in the past month I av bought no scratchcards no lottery admittedly I would av last night but the machine was broke in store and think I had a couple of quid one night but either way its not affected my recovery

I still drive for that better life and that is my focus there's no cure for me that gambling demon will lie there and wait ready to pounce given the chance and that's down to me to make that right choice each day

My financial situation its at a crucial point I find out over the next couple of days if my IVA has been excepted which is 98% approved but just needs rubber stamping which will be great as in 5 years I will be debt free the downside is I av had to put all my credit cards with small balances into the debt I owe which I didn't want to do but it was all or nothing and that's something that doesn't sit well with me as they had given me a chance to get back on track in life, life will be hard though I can't av no credit from anyone in the next 5 years not that anyone would give me any, so now I av to save money each month for things ahead and there lies my drive this is it for me no goin back to gambling I simply can't

This month I'm hoping to save 250 and am on track and same next month the month after I get a rent free month so by that stage I want to av saved a grand but likely to be less with jess's.birthday coming up and car tax and car service coming up, am also waiting on confirmation of a bonus at work which should net me 2 grand, it sounds all good on paper but its all new territory for me I see it has a real chance to keep turning that corner I know though one wrong decision and it could all go dreadfully wrong

Its very hard to write all this as I know others will be struggling and if reading could see it has bragging but believe me I write this for purely my own benefit to see it writing to know I just didn't think it but logged it and can follow it up and justify my outcome good or bad and that I will do, I worked hard to get to this point after 26 years of gambling it took me over 2 years to find myself and start a new life

I hope the guilt of what I am doin financially with my debt eases I know others do it and it does happen, if anything it just makes me more determined to never to go back to that life of misery that I will never forget

I am a compulsive gambler that is in my nature and always will be but I do av the choice just like everyone else does to make that change in life

I will post again at some stage either when an important date comes up or life starts to become tough again and there's a danger that gambling could start to play apart

Hello my dear fighter,

It is not bragging at all!!! It is music to my ears!! 🙂

God, you sound like you are in a really good place with urself, may long it continue dear castle!!

I am really REALLY pleased for you and willing u on my friend.

Feel free to request my email address if want to keep contact going!!

You made my day!!

Thank you so much for sharing 🙂

Sandra xxx

Yo,

Morning bud,

Thank you for your post, and yep I agree with every word.

Not everyone gets that recovery is about soooooo much more than not gambling .

But you did , and have shown incredible strength to address the issues that were previously hidden under the carpet , for fear of dealing with them would be more than you could take . For that you should be very proud .

I know that the next 5 years will throw more challenges to get your life the way you want it , but we both know you have the determinate to get to that point .

Hope Jess is well , tell her the old fairy was asking after her 🙂

Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Hi Castle.

It's been a while. But I am back. I think this time for a good and for the right reason. No relapse. Just a growing feeling that I was at my healthiest and maintaining my addictions when posting and helping others on numerous sites and spreading the message to younger folk.

Fantastic post that last one. It's not bragging, it's called order. A basis from which to continue your work. Realising who and what you are. It is our nature and long we may continue the fight against it.

Take care,

Ian x

Morning castle,

Leave me the part contacting admin and asking to exchange emails..i'm getting good at it lol

Rach dropped a word too, which made this site alive again lol..( just under volcano's name )

Hopefully speak later and all the best in ur journey

Take care

Sandra x

Hi Castle

Good to read you are doing well and good luck with the IVA. I sometimes think I should have gone down that route but even if I had at the time I would have still continued to throw all my money away afterwards.

Thanks for the supportive post on my diary, means a lot.

Best wishes.

Hi Castle,

Well done on the continuing success with life outside gambling, and I must admit I'm the same, I'd have to go back to check to remember when exactly I decided to quite gambling,

The Mot and service is something I generally tend to get pretty worried about as well, I've had a few bad ones over the years, but I generally try and budget for a worst case scenario, and then anything less I spend is a bonus.

As for your bonus, I hope you spend it wisely where possible, but even if you spend it frivolously on yourself, as long as it isn't gambled away then it is still a step forward. Good luck with the IVA, I was fortunate not to have to go in to one of those at my lowest ebb, but at least once that is in place you'll have a light at the end of the tunnel.

All the best

Ryan

Great post castle. Glad you have got to a point where life is really changing and getting better. Seems like your in a good place and after 2 years of sticking at it and hard work you deserve it. So congrats mate. Enjoy that little bit of financial freedom. Enjoy your new gamble free life.

And just to add wanted to say to a few that have helped me in the past that it is really appreciated, you have helped me with some great advice and support in the past and it means a lot. So thank you and keep it up mate.

Thanks everyone

Important date yesterday which was jess's birthday the biggest focus and drive in my life, only had her for the morning which was great but the afternoon she was with her mom which is only right the downsides of divorce I guess but as long as jess is ok then its fine with me although it did make it a tough day after she went but got through it ok

An update from my last post firstly my iva went through as expected which is longterm the best position to be in 5 years and I will be debt free yes my credit rating is shot to pieces but I guess for a compulsive gambler that's no bad thing as loans and visa cards were what always fueled my addiction over the years, as stated I wanted to save a grand in 3 months well the 1st month went well and saved over 200 which was pleasing however things not gone quite to plan this month as it was the school hols last week and I was off with her we ended up going to Scarborough for a couple of nights so hotel and spending money required then I spent 100 on jess's birthday presents took her out for a meal and also its my mum and dads 50th Wed anniversary this month so went halves with my sister and booked them a night away in a hotel with champagne, so from a good start to now this month been a bit tight and not actually saved much money, this now doesn't sit comfortably with me as I have no form of credit to fall back on, I guess its a mixed bag really as yes I have done some great things no money wasted has before money was just wasted and didn't do anything with my money, I still hope to save 750 in the end so will update myself on how I do in the future

Work is still tough and there's no let up I had my final review for last year which was pretty good but did get informed the bonus of 8% I earned is now under threat of not been paid as the business is in such a financial mess nothing has been confirmed as yet so will have to wait and see can't lie and say I will be gutted as I worked so hard to achieve it and in the end for nothing 2800 is a lot of money and would have put me in a fantastic position to keep moving forward, whatever happens I will just have to accept the situation can't look back just forward

Myself at the moment its the same old thrown out of my routine with been off work so the urges come and as my iva is in the early stages I'm getting letters texts emails phone calls from creditors which is not pleasant they were to be expected and should settle down after a couple of months I guess I can't have it all ways though again though a reminds of my past and the affects gambling had upon me another reason never to go back

I may not post much but I do read and do enjoy it I don't feel the pressure has before I felt the need to reply to everyone I now read all of the forum not just the recovery diaries which is something I admit not doing much of before

Its good to read many people are doing so well and the forum is in a good place I would still be lost without it and its good to know its always there for me

I will post again soon as always whether its an important date or I feel the need to get stuff of my chest as for now I'm doin ok and still on the right road to recovery

Castle

Great to see a post from you and to read that things are going well. Appreciate the difficulties of the IVA and not easy to save money but a lot better than when gambling it all away, eh?

Hope the bonus gets paid, you deserve it.

Yo,

We will keep on keeping on mate.

Every day chipping away at what ever stresses us out to make it less so, what ever devastation our addiction has caused .

Looking over our shoulder I hope at the then and now.

Sometimes we can loose sight at how far we have come , maybe the bumps in the road distorting our view. But tonight I celebrate with you , cos you know what we have both taken our dysfunctional life by the horns and done everything and more to make that change.

Are we there yet........ No not quite.

Will we ever get there ....... Is it that important ???????

What is important , that we live and breath recovery , taking on board that's it's not just bout not having a bet .

Tonight I celebrate our successes , proud to be in your team mate 🙂

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Hi castle,

Great to see your update and lovely to read all is going along nice and steady. Every day we abstain, we are winning the fight.

There is better life out there and u are doing just that - living 🙂

Every day is different, but we are in control of making decisions and as far as I see, you are doing rather well. Be proud my friend and keep it up, keep believing and moving to the better future ahead. You are worth it!!!

Thank you for your continued support, it is much appreciated and we shall speak later.

Day at a time

Take care

Sandra x

Thanks to everyone

No special occasion just had the need to post been doing so much reading all over the forum, every day I read without fail and still get inspired and in truth still see the damage gambling causes

I read a post which really hit home and what my biggest fear is which is placing that 1st bet thinking it won't hurt and the control can be there, I read bout a switch been flicked once that bet has been placed and once flicked it cannot be switched off and till destruction has been caused and that made so much sense to me

I can't stay away from this forum and will always make the full use of it I just wanted to remind myself and never let that complacency set in

Myself still goin strong routine is there and always help enjoying life as much as I can still along way to go to where I want to be as always though one day at a time and a step forward each day is progress

No stepping back