reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle

That's a really tough situation you are facing. Mate, if your posts are anything to go by I know for a fact you will carry out the task with all the dignity, and understanding it deserves. You are doing all the right things, and good on you for playing by the book and not telling anyone. We are much better equipped to deal with stressfull situations when we are not gambling. So you'll be fine. All the best.

Hi castle

Thank you for your kind and supportive words you wrote on my diary it made me feel very humble

Looks like you have a lot going on at work but I am sure that you will do your job professionally

And as Granite says we can deal with stressful situations when we are not gambling which you are not and that is your choice because you don't want to so you will be strong and positive

One day at a time

Best wishes Suzanne xx

Thanks granite, Suzanne

Finding it hard to switch off from this situation with work I need to find a way of switching off from it , yesterday I was off and maybe had too much tome to think about it , but surprisingly no urges to gamble which is pleasing , back at work today so hopefully be too busy to dwell on it although I do expect plenty of questions

One day at a time is important at the moment and really works so I'm not looking any further than that , when I finish I will pick jess up and stays with me Saturdays so she will keep my attention for sure

Moneys going well this month nothing to stress about on that front and on track to save a bit , think I will take jess out for a meal tonight it's amazing what twenty quid buy as a treat much better than it been gambled in a second

Hi CAstle

I like your spirit.

one day at a time and if it gets tough which it won't but what helped me one day last week was one hour at a time and it worked because I did not give in.

Have a lovely meal today and enjoy spending money on your jess

Yes it's amazing with what we can actually do with money even as little as 20

It still makes me feel sick and ashamed that I thought nothing of spending hundreds in a couple of hours and yet panicked about buying everyday things.

could not afford it how ridiculous was that.

Money did not have any real meaning then but now I have none every penny so important to survive at the moment and it's nice after getting paid 8 days ago I am not skint and worrying where the next pennyis coming from.

Keep strong you are doing well and enjoy being gamble free and the freedom it now gives us

Best wishes Suzannexx

Thanks Suzanne

Routine thrown today normally I would have jess all day till 6 but her mom asked if she could take her out for the day which is unlike her , jess wanted to go so I didn't have a problem with it although jess got a bit teary before she left , I find jess is always find with the situation of me and her mom as long as there is structure and she knows exactly where and who she is with , so like me when a change happens it knocks her off her stride

So for me today a few urges so far but having a nice chill out day , not even dressed yet !! Plenty of cups of tea , this afternoon will watch football and cheer Rotherham on to see if they can get promoted

Back to work in morning ready for the toughest week ever but I will stay strong and deal with what I have to do

Hi castle

Sorry you not having Jess today

I am out of routine today too cos I am At sons

Keep. CLose to this site and take one hour at a time

We have too much to lose if we now go back

We will win this we have to for us stay strong

No quick fix anymore if we weaken just more heartache for us. And our families

We will not even spend one penny today on gambling we need that penny it keeps our sanity

Stay strong

Suzannexx

Hi castle,

I hope you turning the changes of your day to a positive outcome and will enjoy your day to it's fullest. Take it as a relaxing time for yourself to chill out. Get a beer or two and enjoy that football without the destruction crossing your path.

It is great to hear from you and I thank you so much for your ongoing support and understanding.

Speak later my friend

Thanks Sandra Suzanne

Just about coping well with everything at work , plenty of questions asking if they are safe or at risk , been holding my ground and not said anything to anyone , today everything should be confirmed from hr with the list of names I then can throw any challenges that fit in with the process then after that it will be final , Thursday will be the day when it's completed and then the part of telling staff comes next

It's been stressful on my mind all the time quite a heavy burden to bear especially not been able to tell anyone , not many urges to gamble to block it all out and have survived quite well on that front , need to stay focussed as its going to get harder this week

Just need to make the right choice each day

Castle,

I feel for you I really do. But your resolve to remain professional is admirable

Your choice to remain gamble free under pressure is just as admirable.

Take time out for you - as important as a job may be nothing is more important than looking after ourselves.

Shelly

Thanks Shelly

Been a real tough day , hr checked all the information was correct and the final confirmation will be given on Thursday , next Monday the process of telling people will start , on the list is 5 names 3 I have no issues with and fully expected them to be flagged and they won't be affected much at all but he other 2 are a massive shock to me and will be more so for them the impacts that it will have on their lives is huge I can't lie and say it will be easy to tell them it will be the hardest work related actions I have to do in 22 years as a manager , I won't shy away it from it though it has to be done , in total I am losing 110 hours from a total of 692 staff hours I have not even give it a thought how we will cope when they have been cut and that's the hardest out of all this to take on board I understand as a business we are in such a mess and action needs to be taken but to be so ruthless at store level the service we will be giving after this is not worth thinking about , this I will worry about later my only thoughts go out to the staff who are at risk at the end I will have my job and they won't so I need to be thankful for that , what I am struggling with at the moment is I have all this information and can't say a word to no one , the staff aren't stupid they know I know more than I'm letting on the atmosphere is awful the tension is running so high people are at a stage where they just want to know all I get told is follow the process don't divert from it , I see their agony in their faces the torture it's putting them through , my mind is also on Monday morning when I go into work all eyes looking at me will I be taking them into my office and giving them bad news just how do I do it ? What's the best way of getting them there without everyone knowing , whatever I do it's going to be so hard with it all been so high profile and everyone wondering is it going to be them

So lots to think about but keeping it simple and direct is the key , I wish I could take all the human emotion out of it np but that's not me I care about these people and it will hurt me as much them

I am determined to get through this step by step not get in too deep and want to start blocking it all out , a trigger for gambling I do feel ok on that front and no urges to act upon

Still one day at a time and making that right choice

Hey castle,

Sounds like some really tough time ahead for you. But my friend you have to do what you need to. Redundancies are really worrying time not only for employees but their managers too. Just follow the procedure because not much else you can do. It just has to be done, one of them things. We get staff cut down daily..but of course being expected the same results going forward. ....hard to achieve these expectations but you have to try your best and keep moving on.

Stressful time will pass and you just have to go from there. I know you will be alright, but will be here by your side all the way.

Day at a time as always, stay calm and carry on.

Take care and speak soon

Sandra x

Thanks Sandra

Not much sleep last night constantly thinking about work I'm finding it very difficult to switch off , I am very thankful for my diary ad once again it's a source a place to vent my feelings which is helping so much

Trying to look a little further own the line and plan what I'm going to do once the staff have left and the truth is I can't my brain won't allow me to think that far ahead which is probably no bad thing and just to concentrate what is at hand

At 45 I'm not getting any younger arthritis in both knees which I cannot bend much at all , physically going forward I don't know how much longer I can do my job , the expectation on me going forward with work is to keep the same standards with less hours to do it in so there for make a choice do loads and loads of hours myself to get the job done or don't do the hours and not get the job done and face the consequences of that , when I was younger I didn't think nothing of doing 60 plus hours a week and that commitment got me to the position I am In now

For the first time in 22 years working for the same employer for who I have enjoyed working for I feel I need to start looking elsewhere I'm very aware the grass is no greener on the other side and still have one or two benefits left the main one I can pick and choose my hours which works well with jess and school , but as a business we are in free fall and in my opinion making desperate decisions to save money , it's something I need to think long and hard about

I can't think any further than the end of today and just getting through that , i will be ok though I am a fighter and proved that in the past , i need to be the one to stay strong keep my head whilst others around are losing theirs

Morning castle

When I have been in stress situations I always use the final sentence from gone with the wind

Tomorrow I can't think about tomorrow now I will sleep on it and think about tomorrow tomorrow

It now reminds me of one day at a time

You are a strong person who is using your professional skills to the max and doing it well

Stay strong and positive if you get any triggers come on this forum read write anything to bypass gambling

You have made the choice not to gamble you have made the choice to keep a clear head and you will

Keep strong and one day at a time

Best wishes Suzanne xx

Thanks Suzanne

Not a bad day considering , didnt get the confirmation I expected of names at risk so I'm guessing that will come tomorrow now , I'm on day off but my line manager will phone me and keep me updated , off with jess tomorrow so she will keep me busy and can switch off from it all

No urges at all and feel really strong on that front really trying to keep looking at the positives in life and keeping close to this site

7 weeks today be in Corfu right now keeping that at the forefront of my mind

Hi castle

Thank you for the post on my diary guess you could say I've had better days, but I've also had a lot worse.

Not long til your holiday. Bet jess is excited.

63 days and 8 hours til I head off to the sunshine. And still our holiday shopping to fit in. I'm dreading Meadowhall!

Hope the road works are done by then, I'm so impatient when it comes to sitting in traffic lol

Keep focused on that precious time with your daughter in the sun, memories created last a lifetime x

Shelly