reborn on the 4th July

Hi Castle,

Just wanted to say a quick thank you for your kind words on my diary. You seem to be going well at the moment and love your positive attitude throughout.

Keep making the right choices and well done so far,

James

Hi castle,

Good to hear from you again. Sorry to hear about this little slip but I'm sure you have put it behind and looking ahead with more determination and belief. Here for you as always

b kind to yourself

S x

Hi Castle,

Sorry to hear about the demons coming back with a vengeance, hope you've been able to stabilise and to get back on the right path this last week. You know exactly why you have to beat this, its not just you that you're fighting the addiction for.

You can beat this, time to saddle up and get back on the horse.

All the best

Ryan

Thanks everyone

Been a real tough couple of weeks and in that time been battling against my old friend the gambling demon , when life takes a backward step he's always there to take the pain away !! , again though financially fortunately very little damage done but mentally it's taking its toll , as I have always said the way gambling consumes your mind is what bothers me the most , today I look at my bank balance with savings intact knowing enough is enough now I have played around too much and been fortunate its not worse , I simply can't take this any further

It's time to do what I do best which us fight something in my 3years of recovery I have learned to do well and done it with the help of this site , in truth I have felt unable to post recently for many reasons I now need to put that behind me and do what's right for me

I may be a little down but I'm certainly not beaten and sympathy is not what I am looking for , life throws the unexpected at times bringing good and bad these times I just need to work through

In 3 years I have shown I can do that and will once again

Hi castle

Sorry to read you have had a tough couple of weeks,

But I am pleased you have come back ready to carry on the fight against this destructive addiction, and are posting on your diary again.

Onwards and forwards, not backwards is a sure way to go now.

Best wishes

Suzanne xx

Yo,

You were in my thoughts today when I went to my counciling session , having read your post before I went

With that in mind I would like to share with you the comment made to me just before I left ......

We have no control over our first thought but we do over second .

Keep fighting my friend ,

Shiny xxxx

Hey Castle,

You were one of the first people on this site to reach out to me and I will never forget that kindness. I have followed your diary since. You are a good, strong person and a great father to Jess. You kicked gambling to the curb before and you will do it again. Don't let it get it's talons into you. Like you say, no tangible financial damage done at this point. Whatever it takes you'll do it. -joanxxx

Thanks Suzanne , shiny , Joan

Getting back on track and doing what I do best which is fight

And now you are talking my friend, fight is all we can do to get us to the better place 🙂

Same as Joan has put it, you been there for me from the very beginning of my journey, the least i can do is return the favour and support you unconditionally.

Catch up soon dear soldier

Take care

S x

Castle

Fella I am going to write in tune with a conversation I had yesterday with my boss.

I believe you and him could have come from the same pod!!

You spend a great deal of your lives making sure other folk are happy,sometimes to the detriment of yourself.

My advice the same,look after number one,through doing so you will surely gift others too.

Good to see you back fella.

The self gifted mind f**k's have no place in your life.

Through arresting the punt you gift yourself that.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks Sandra Duncan

Your right Duncan I do need to look after no 1 , in my life at the moment is work and jess and that takes up all my time , the rest of it I'm shattered , I do try and find time for myself but time unplanned is a big trigger , it's something I need to work on and find that balance

Having been on my own four years now it's something I'm used to I built a routine up and it worked , yes there were relapses but that's life as a compulsive gambler there will be consequences if I make the wrong choice , I do have the knowledge of where gambling will take me and still have the strength to know when to stop before it takes everything I have worked so hard to get to

I truly believe I will never go back to the pain and misery gambling brought me but I do accept there will be times in the future where life throws something at me and gambling will play a part , many could see that as been weak and beaten for me it's the reality of a life of a compulsive gambler , I would love to say yes that's it I will never gamble again and the immortal words I have beaten it , never ever will I beat it this is for life I accept this but as always I will never let it beat me I can live a normal life I don't live in fear of relapse I can deal with it as I have the other 7 times I relapsed

I look at the big picture 18 grand in debt no where to call home gambling daily the thoughts of no way out so much pain and misery , to now 6 grand in debt a settled home savings in the bank , life is better yes it's not brilliant but 3 years ago I was sliding down a slippery slope with no return

For me that's progress

Hi castle,

Nice to see you still chipping away at it and let me tell you my friend that is massive progress , Rome was not built in a day.

Keep at it your doing a fine job , that bigger picture thinking always helps us put things into perspective.

Take care

Blondie

Thanks blondie

Another busy week so far which is only good for me , having to have a lot of self belief with work at the moment as the recovery of our business is still relentless with making tough decisions there is really no room for empathy for me and my team

Still have very mixed feelings with all the decisions made but ultimately grateful I still have my position , the hours I am working now see creeping higher and higher which I fully expected , I need to get the balance right with living to work and working to live

Off work today so managed to catch up with everything I needed to do , all well and getting back on track with life

Can't ask any more than that

Hi castle,

Thanks for your continuing support.

Wishing you well on this continuing journey and so pleased you getting back on track.

Stay strong and keep making that right choice

Suzanne xx