Feel really pleased today for fighting the urges never really thought for one minute I would give in the fear of going back to all that misery drives me forward , I know there's gonna be tough times ahead been seperated from my ex for nearly 2 years and divorce is on its may was totally my decision and not gambling related was really the best decision for both of us and has proved rightly so esp for her , I moved out when back to parents got a couldn't afford that as the gambling got way out of control went to live with her brother who was fantastic but was wanting to move is girlfriend in as u can imagine life was tough and gambling was a way to block it out then one day I had enough I knew I had to sort my life out I admitted I had a problem spoke to a gamcare advisor the relief was immense gave me so much strength I sorted all my debt out through a debt management agency didn't really want to do that but was left with no option I had to get my life back on track now the finances were sorted I got my own flat again things are really tight as I still pay half mortgage child maintenance as well as all my own bills so as u can imagine no money to a!gamble with had I bit of money in bank from what my parents give me , so went 3 months and that was easy think the determination was so strong didn't give it a thought bout gambling then bang got an urge an blew 500 in a four meek period somehow managed to see sense came back on here and now getting it right going forward after pay day and paying everything I have bout 250 to live on putting 120 in petrol in out of that leaving me 130 to survive on I av 500 back up in bank for emergencies got to get through till April that's when my 2 years separation can be used for divorce how I will pay for that hopefully through a bonus at work bout 2000 hopefully , divorce is what I want and to come off the mortgage not a lot of equity in it but expect to lose what there is but for me it's a fresh start a chance to do something with my life and my daughter who is 7 the only thing important to me now is to stay gamble free I can't go back or I will lose my flat I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking her dad is a loser with no money and finally I want to do something with my life not look back in shame on what a waste , like all of us we all have choices in life my choice is not to gamble I will succeed
Got the first week out of the way and am pleased with the progress glad I had few urges and most importantly didn't give in , feel so strong which will help moving forward as I need to make some tough decisions to ensure there is no negativity in my life
I am gonna beat this
So busy at work got no time to think bout gambling or even av urges another busy day tomorrow will keep posting to remind myself why I am here no way am going te get complacent never going back to that misery
Another good day still feel strong got a couple of big decisions to make over the next couple of days both work related but important to make them which will show me strength must stay strong making decisions this will give me the belief to stay gamble free
Been to see counsellor today had a really good talk nothing bout childhood today realised strength and self belief is so important really need to put myself first to beat this disease all my life I av put others before me even when they av done nothing for me always find it hard to say no when somebody wants a favour and give in to them which pretty much relates to the gambling giving in to urges , also clear I need my life to be complete never had a lot of love in it and av so much to give just really want a normal content life simple things like watching a film with someone I care for or in for a walk but mostly no urges to want to gamble . Realistically at the moment this is not going to happen anytime soon all I can do for now is stay strong and focus on that I can achieve take it day by day and remove the problems I av one by one , I will make it happen
We all want a content life on here.
And by not gambling, this WILL happen.
All you need to do is to keep making the right choices. And you are!
GT
Had a really good week not too many urges but the ones I had were easily knocked back due to not having much time to think bout them , this week is goin to be a good hard test no work for a week got my daughter for 5 days but av got 2 days on my own am goin to av to plan my days when on my own don't want the boredom factor to kick in in a way looking forward to it be nice just to chill its got to beat working , still feel really strong so am ready for my test watch this space
Just make sure that you fully enjoy the time spent with your daughter.
Look forward to hearing positive news from you this week as I have similar challenges.
Together, we WILL beat this!
GT
2 weeks since last bet and it feels great , watched last 20 mins of African nations final knew ivory coast would av been hot favourites after 5 mins penalty to ivory coast Drogba misses my first thoughts were all that money the bookies would av took on the first goalscorer and again on ivory coast to win in 90 mins all those punters with hearts in their mouths the highs and lows in complete absorbent ignoring every else and everybody around them I was so glad I was not involved and never will be again I will never forget that sick feeling when the ref blows the whistle the reality sinks in iv lost that money should be mine right how can I win it back even a virtual horse race that will do anything to get my money back the utter loss of control , god feels so good not to gamble I am not going back to all that misery
However my heart does go out to the punters who will av had an uncomfortable nights sleep tossing and turning only to wake up and think today is the day I will win my money back and win even more , gambling is an illness that corrupts ur mind only when u stop u realise
Well done castle2. It's good to reflect on what you didn't lose, huh? When the time is right you'll be able to treat yourself to something with that money. A new shirt, a trip to the barbers, a new aftershave? What would you buy? Those things make us look and feel better, give us confidence and raise our chins a bit. Other people will see those changes and, if we're being generous of spirit, people will be drawn to us. You are in control of your own destiny every single day that you don't gamble. If you want things to be different - they will be.
Keep writing. One step a time
Had a great day yesterday with my daughter went to cinema and treated her all day spent a fair bit of money but I didn't mind I always av treated her really but usually with money I didn't av or won so it felt so good to know that the money was earned and not won from a bet , more importantly I cud give her my full attention not thinkin bout gambling needing to get back for ,1st race or a football match starting ,why would I want to go back I av so much to gain and def so much more to lose
Money spent in the right way can only be a very good thing to do.
Keep it up!
GT
Few urges yesterday think cos of all the football on lait night but came through it ok feels good to resist them , on my own for a couple of days now so a good test comin up left myself enough to do to keep me busy so it's me against this disease and I am going to win
Won yesterdays battle kept myself busy even had to walk past a bookies when went shopping if I'm honest didn't feel anything at all no urges , today is goin to be a longer day just gonna chill in flat might go for a walk , treated myself to some dvds yesterday felt good that they weren't bought with dirty money in a way be glad to be back at work go back on Sunday it is nice to be off but from a recovery point of view its a lot harder too much time to think , will post tomorrow def will be good news
its great to here you 'won' yesterday and that this did not relate to any form of gambling. I have read your thread and you make a comment on one of your posts that strikes an echoing cord with myself when you talk about 'being there for your daughter' without the distraction of gambling.
Take care and use your dvd's gamcare to make today another gamble free day.
All the best
Stuart
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