reborn on the 4th July

HI Castle,

Sorry your not feeling to good, hope your on the mend soon.

Those cycles are difficult to break, I once got into a really bad re-bound relationship after i split from my ex husband and i ended up having to get a restraining order not that i think thats what you should resort to, im sure its a really difficult situation for you but just try and seperate it out, its work , so be clear about what you expect work wise and everything else can wait.

Dating sites eh ?. When i was single i made a list of all the mad things i wanted to do with my best friend we had such fun, we once went speed dating, it was the funniest thing i have done and we still laugh about it now, we went salsa dancing, I also had/have a bit of a thing for fireman i once went on a date with one, but left about an hour into the date he was the stangest person id ever met, lol i made my excuses and left.. My thing for firemen seems to have gone lol...

You have your holidays to keep you focused it will be hear before you know it, some quality time with your little princess it doesnt get much better than that.

Enjoy your day

Blondie

Good Morning Castle

Thanks as ever for your lovely post to me lol lol

Cheeky git again, i don't know how Steve got my photo and paraded it as his mum but well at least you know what i look like now!

Aside from that Castle great to see you have had some fun in the sun with your daughter and neice 😉

I'm sure the situation will sort itself out and your right with time away from each other it can give you the oppotunity to make that break.

Dating sites, lol lol my friends have tried to get me on them but had a look and was sooo scared by some of the mug shots have decided it defo not for me, i need time for me to recover and maybe in a while i might think about it but can't see me with anyone for a long while yet lol lol

So Castle, continue to remain strong mate , you are doing soooo well and even in tough times still stay bet free!

Respect !

Smiling , even though you have seen the photo Lucy lol lol

Hi Castle,

I am glad that u had a gr8 day, with ur little girl and niece 🙂

Ur strength shines thru, even when times r tough, u still stay gamble free. U give me alot of hope. U have ur holiday with ur little girl 2 look 4ward 2, I hope this helps u get thru ne tough days!

Stay strong and keep going 🙂

Good Evening,

Just been having a little catch up on your diary must have missed a post as I thought I was bang up to date.

Anyway, I hope you are readily fighting off the bug some of them seem to take forever to shake I never used to take anything when I was sick but last couple of times I have gone crazy and I swear it's taken longer with medication.

I have noticed recently you seem more determined than ever to address other things you are not happy with in your life. For that I applaud you. I think in the past I have said well done you might be struggling but you are still gamble free. Well I think that might have been a bit naive of me as I was too early in recovery to advise. Lately I notice I mention the gambling less but I spend more time addressing other things. That is real progress I think! It's almost as if the gambling is kept at bay, close enough for us to be aware but far enough away for us to fight our other battles. I love how time has the ability to make things clearer.

Right as always I say more than intended. Good luck with the dating site, have a bit of fun with it, nothing too serious and you never know what might be round the corner.

Take Care,

Flagg

P.s You reckon Lucy really looks like that? I had a slightly different image!

Hi Castle,

Hope you feeling better.

Just warning you...I happened to mention dating sites.......Well the girlies on here have gone crazy.........Just humour them....lol

Keep doing what you are doing buddy.....cos it's working!

Sue

Cheers sue for the warning !

Well let me tell you the positives of online dating , it keeps me busy and it's highly amusing and my god what an introduction to another world

The negatives are if u didn't see the funny side of it it's absolutely soul destroying must av sent bout 30 messages got bout 5 back then after bout two replies they don't want to know ! Lol , think I must be sending out the wrong signal somehow , probably confidence has a lot to do with it even though is gettin better now the gambling has ceased

There has been a little bit of interest but the picture of Steve's mom or Lucy ! Looks a good option at the moment and that's the reality me sayin how bad they looked and a good 25 prob think the same of me , but hey ho I'm a big boy I can take it just as well really ! Lol

So yes expecting a bit of banter from all this but it's all good fun and the sayin goes if u can't take it don't give it out

The real positive though is keeping my mind of other things or should I say other people and no thoughts of gambling whatsoever

Everything else is all good and feeling much better now

lol Castle i think your very brave.

Ive heard a few horror stories about them, You have to take it with a pinch of salt like you say and dont take everything you read as red... My friend once went on a date with a guy who was at least 3 times bigger than his picture lol..

Anyways i think you and womble would be perfect she could clean your crown and pick up all the litter in the grounds of the castle... lol

Take care and if you cant be good... be carefull... lol

Blondie 🙂

Castle,

That was a very nice post you left on my diary. You have been offering me kind words of support from the beginning to present day on my diary, which is very much appreciated.

We have both come a long way this year and as I approach the six month point I realise that gambling no longer plays a large part in my life and I love this. This site provides everything we need for success. The users are vital and I was very lucky to begin my diary at a time when you had also recently arrived on the forum. Your input is always very thoughtful.

I see you are embarking on a new adventure with reference to your dating site. I know someone from work who tried this. They weren't successful in terms of finding a long term partner but they were successful in getting out of the house and finding different company with an array of new and sometimes interesting people. This eventually led to her socialising in new circles, which led to her meeting her current and very new husband (married a few months ago). Personally, I think whoever is clever enough to take a chance with you will get a whole lot more than they would have imagined.

Good luck.

Tomso.

Hi Castle,

I just wanted to say thank you for your post. You are spot on. I do need to stay close to my diary and that is what I will do.

Thanks again. Enjoy your weekend.

Dave

Feeling really good at the moment not stressing bout anything , think the dating site helping managed to av a couple of conversations and it was nice to just talk but not pushing in it , I'm very aware I still av feelings and they won't go away soon so on this basis it would be unfair to start seeing someone else and let them think it was gettin serious , I know when I leave my store it will make it easier and the feelings will go away , my brother in law has got bout 3 women on the go I honestly don't know how he does it and how he gets away with it , I'm just not that sort of bloke if I'm goin to do somethin I like to commit to it I would just get seen through straight away

No thoughts of gambling been quite a while now so that's got to be a good thing , a working weekend once again so been kept busy and really enjoying the challenge at the moment

Other than all that alls well , often wonder why I write irrelevant stuff at times like the dating when it's not linked to gambling , but it could in a way if it all gets a bit out of hand and stressful and the complacency could slip , and as said b4 one day I will reread all my diary and can look back at certain parts of my journey to see where I was and maybe then it might av been relevant what I wrote

Hi there I've just read through your diary and your strength shown has been amazing and very encouraging. Im always very happy when I read a diary through and by the end of it there still going strong. I'm glad your life is moving forward. Youve obviously got some big things going in your life right now but you seem to be dealing with them well. Good luck with the dating stuff. I'm sure I'll post to you before then but hope your holiday with your daughter is great I'm sure it will be and try not to miss littlin to much when she's away. Take care buddy. Your strength is inspiring. Thanks for sharing. Oh and I think you should post whatever is on your mind. It might seem silly or whatever but it may help you now or in the future so get it down, no harm in it.

Me thinks I know why Castle hasn't been posting................Why do I think that you all ask?

Obvious eh?...........He's bin dating.....tr...la...la ....la

Womble winks to you buddy !

Sue xx

Yo,

Big fat hugs back ........just what I needed thanks 🙂

Need to get in quick ,before all those single ladies start signing your dance card.

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Good morning castle

Thanks for your post on mine , always good to have your support even if it's a bit cheeky at times !

Glad to see your getting yourself out there , it's a big world and I'm sure your dream is just lurking around the corner !

Now I'm not sure who lurks lol lol but do beware !

Well castle you did say I could go for it but I'm not really that horrible and would rather say I'm very proud of you and all your achieving 🙂

Couldn't find your castle the other day when the ankle went , had to hobble down a deep slope full of rocks , it hurt 🙁 So directions would be better next time lol lol

Keep strong , your doing great

Smiling Lucy

The start of a tough week , my daughters gone away for the week with my ex this will be the longest I av been away from her , I will miss her so much but more importantly she's been the only person in my life who's always there for me , so a little test to say the least

The dating site has been and gone , my heart is just not in it , got chatting to someone who was really nice but then it started to get a bit more serious and just knew I couldn't commit and would've end up hurting her so deleted my profile ultimately I still av many feelings that need sorting out 1st and some closure on the relationship , had my review at work which went well and there's goin to be some manager moves in september and they know I am lookin for a fresh start with divorce so fingers crossed on that one

The divorce hit a snag which I'm really annoyed bout , 2 months ago I had a letter from my solicitor sayin ex had agreed to everything just some minor details to confirm and to let them know if it's ok to proceed so I phoned up solicitor was out left a message to say that was fine , the message never got relayed , yesterday I received a letter from them asking if I want to proceed , phoned them this mornin tryin to be calm my solicitor was full of apologies but this massive slip up now means I may av to pay mortgage payments for another 2 months which I really can't afford , all my financial plans were running so smooth so this is goin to be a set back , will av to speak to ex but doubt she will do me any favours

So life once again not straight forward another battle ahead , staying mentally strong is key now need to focus on the week ahead take it a day at a time , the problems with divorce I can't deal with so I won't worry bout them I shall deal with them when I av to , gettin through the next week is all that matters , I may post loads and loads on here but then I may not but I will get through it

It's now over 7 months since my last bet and it's been a journey of fight and survival , goin from 26 years of gambling nearly everyday and then tryin to live a different life without actually knowing how to , I look at my behaviours , trying to throw myself into different things like counselling , dieting , goin to gym , swimming and dating sites all with good intentions but somehow can't find the commitment to carry on , the focus is always staying gamble free and that has been achieved , life will sort itself out I know this

It won't get sorted out if gambling plays a part my brain understands this and that's up to me to keep it that way