reborn on the 4th July

hi castle

carl

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur lovely post on my diary, It means alot 🙂

I think u r an inspiration, u have been thru a tough time and u still stay gamble free.... That takes alot of strength and determination. U r one of the ppl on this site that gives me alot of hope 🙂

I hope u and ur little girl have a gr8 holiday and I know that u will share soooo many precious memories 2 treasure that will be priceless 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd x

Morning Buddy,

Thanks for the post as ever. Always great to see a post from you as you were offering me support on the very first day I came to this site. You are still here going strong and it is people like you and Duncs who I look up to with regards tackling this addiction so thank you!

The holiday is here well almost and I am sure you will have a lovely time. My dad also flies out to Portugal today and he is pretty excited about getting away for a few days just to have a break from the daily grind. Like you said that 200 euros is going to be a big help and hopefully eases any little nagging issue you had regarding money at least for your hols. It's about having a good time, relaxing, and sharing that experience with your daughter. Minimal or even zero distraction would be perfect.

You also said it's about doing what is right for you and this is so true my friend.

Gamblers are very selfish, and in many ways recovery is exactly the same but the big difference is being selfish in recovery allows us to rediscover ourselves and become selfless. It's a tricky concept but by being selfish and concentrating on our recovery, others notice big changes in us and they get twice the person they had before in their lives.

Reading your diary and following your recovery I can see you are at least 3 times the person you were when you started this journey.

Have a brilliant holiday!

Flagg

Yo,

Thank you for the hug 🙂

2 weeks off you lucky B*****r .

Think it puts an added strain keeping secrets , cause I have not told my oh everything . But totally get that you need to do what you need to do, for some of it is the right thing to do.

Anyways not sure when you are off on holidays , but need to send you a reminder , X Factor starts tonight , make sure you tape it , cause I know a little fairy who would not be the best part pleased if you forget .

Take care ,

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Castle

Thank you so much for your post and your continued support.. it means a lot. It''s also great to see you so active on this site again.. was very quiet without you!

Hope you and your little girl have a brilliant holiday Castle.. you deserve all the R & R you can get!

Happy holiday!

Lmm x

Hi Castle, thanks for your post, it was fantastic. I'm really pleased the way things are panning out for you. You reap what you sow in life and you certainly have put in the effort to tackle this addiction so it's nice to see you receiving the rewards. Holidaying in Portugal sounds lovely, your daughter is lucky to have such a great father as you. I know it's not easy being a single Dad at times, from my own experience but all we can do is be there for them and youve done this consistently. You're a credit and a great role model. Sorry about your childhood and your sister but I think you're right in keeping the gambling side away from your parents but yet again this shows how emotionally strong you are and how considerate too. Take care Castle, keep life simple, be who you want to be not what others expect you to and remember the sun cream. Steve

Tough weekend out of the way , finished work sat bout 2 ex dropped daughter off bout 5 so ended up soccer Saturday which had to be the ultimate favourite for betting on football , so that brought a few urges the mind tryin te trick me thinkin one bet won't hurt to be honest quite predictable and got through it with out much stress , I still love football with a passion so it was good to watch it and get through it , many would advice not to watch it and I can totally relate to that out of sight and out of mind and all that but then the flipside is u can't hide away from it face up to it and deal with it head on , I prefer the latter but as always it's each to their own in recoveries

Daughter stopped Saturday night watched x factor and red or black , the red or black I av real mixed views bout great entertainment for the viewers but for the individual it could cause some serious damage esp gettin to the final spin win or lose yes win is amazing but lose and the psychological effects that can av is life changing and I hear now that it rolls over if no-one wins to a possible 3 and half million , wow for one spin fifty fifty in my view its a real no go

Took daughter round to her grandmas at lunch on Sunday to av a play with her cousin them ex was picking her up from there so was on my own from 2 for rest of day and again that was hard more urges so again had to dig deep

I look at the urges and why this weekend for me was bout boredom not planning my time it's always the same when not working I know next 2 days will be fine hot loads of plans then on holiday from Wednesday for a week

And when ur bored u start to think worry bout stuff that's not quite right in my life which always seen worse when u av too much time on ur hands , understanding is the key for me and then dealing with what's in front of u

Today I feel much stronger for it to carry me on to get through this day , it shows still taking in one day at a time really does work

Why change it !

Hi Castle,

That was a really lovely post on my diary.....Kept reading it over and over....Is that normal....Lol!

It was probably hard the weekend because it was start of footie season....A lot of guys were struggling, but overcame!

I am sure you and princess are going to have an amazing time in Portugal.

Can we keep this quiet Castle....ya know..between me and princess.....I love x factor.......Can feel a wee bit of banter in the next few weeks! That girl who wrote her own song....Amazing!

Anway if you dont read again before you go away...Hope you both have the best hol ever......I actually know you will!

Hugs Sue xxxxxxxxx

hi castle

carl

Hi Castle,

Just popping in2 say I hope u and ur little girl have a gr8 holiday. U deserve it 🙂

Stay strong and have fun 🙂

Yo,

Hay my friend , bloooooood urges , bane of our lives .

Tough weekend but you got through it .

So hats off to you , it's sad in away that you have to keep yourself really busy ,to stop the urges and can not get to chill out . But maybe one day ,in years to come......

Anyways enjoy your hols , me not a fan of red or black , or million pound drop or anything like that . So it would be difficult to comment on that .

On x factor never been a spice girl fan , always thought they were a bit up themselves .

And how right was I , scary spice , what a horrible person she appeared to be on Saturday , no talent , can not sing , below average , pot calling the kettle black me thinks .......

Shinyxxxxxx

hi castle

carl

Yo ,

See your still up and about posting .

Just to say leave your troubles at home , one whole week of fun sun making memories that will stay with your for a life time .

Enjoy ..........

Shiny xxxxxxx

Last post for a week as Portugal here we come , only now is the reality setting in that were goin away whatever happens its down to me and my girl to make some special memories and I am sure we will

Will miss this site it's been so good to me and to say I nearly gave it all up , I find now though I am more balanced feel no pressure to post I still av times where I don't feel inspirational so I simply don't post and there's day when I can post all day , most importantly is newcomers and posting on their diaries to try and give them that boost or little bit of support they are lookin for , for me it really is all about tryin to give something back to society from which so little I took out

When I get back 8 months will av passed since my last bet somethin I thought after 26 years of gambling nearly everyday that would never av been possible

So a nice last thought for today

Hi Castle,

Thank u as always 4 ur lovely post on my diary. It means alot 🙂

I hope u and ur little girl have a brilliant holiday, I know u will have lots of fun and create lots of special memories 2 treasure!

I have always admired how much ur little girl means 2 u, it's lovely 2 read. She is lucky 2 have a Dad like u who only wants the best 4 her and that is sooooo clear 2 see 🙂

U r an inspiration Castle, even when going thru tough times, u stay gamble free and that takes alot of strength... U give me hope so thanks 🙂

Hope u both have lots of fun x