reborn on the 4th July

Hiya Castle..

Thank you so much for posting on my diary....first of all I wish you a super holiday as you deserve it!...

I have also seen you on many other diaries and also followed yours too and you also need to see just how generous you have been for everyone on this forum putting heart and soul into your posts and reposts...

As im "from the other side"...(sounds like i'm a ghost)..I usually see who posts to me first from the CG side....

I do this only because I am highly visible ,highly emotionally expressive and can also be up and down like a rollercoaster in my own recovery which is often the last things you folks need when your on here to keep a level head.

I also understand that for someone like me to appear on a recovery diary without invitation may feel invasive.....but all that aside.......I wish you so well in recovery Castle and I love that name as I am biig into my forts and drawbridges....lol

Bon voyage and will also keep the light on for you for when you get back ...

Thank you once again for your kind words...

R and D xxx

Thank you Castle for your post on my new diary.

Your words of wisdom and encouragement mean a lot to me, thank you friend.

All the Best

Cameron

Hi Castle,

Know you're on holiday and won't see this till you get back but just wanted to say, when you do, that I hope you had a really great holiday and look forward to hearing all about it!

Take care

Lmm

HI Castle,

Just wanted to say WELCOME BACK!

Hope the holiday was all that you hoped?

Looking forward to hearing all about it!

Sue xxx

Had a brilliant time went so quickly , it was just so good to just switch my phone off and relax and spend some quality time with no daughter , she had so much fun made so many friends stopped up late every night I think it was when we landed the tears just bout dried up , she's fine though now bless her

Reality sinking in now phone's back on and gettin texts from work even though not back till Monday , but the break has done me a world of good I needed it and can honestly say not one thought of gambling all week just didn't av the time or cud be really bothered to give it a thought

In a way will be glad to be back at work it keeps me busy and that's what I need so just need on get through the next few days esp sat

Hi Castle,

Soooo glad u had a gr8 time!

It's good 2 read that ur little girl had fun, bless her 🙂 Holidays always seem 2 go fast then coming back 2 reality is always tough.But I know u will stay strong, ur strength and determination shines thru!

Have a gr8 nite 🙂

Hi Castle,

Thanks for the lovely post.

Sounds like you and princess had a ball......memories are priceless!

Hope you get caught up with x factor....already few posts knocking around....go Lucy!

Sue xx

Yo,

So pleased you had a great holiday , and made some wonderfull memories which will no doubt be mentioned in years to come . ( my girls often come up , dont you remember when I was 11 and we went to .... )

Good to here you sound like the well earned rest was just the ticket, and that you've come back positive and strong to continue on the good fight .

Have a fab weekend , waiting with baited what the worlds Xfactor critic has to say .....FP that is not you lol

Shiny xxxxxx

Hi Castle,

Thank u 4 ur lovely post on my diary. It means alot 🙂

U r doing brilliant 🙂

Have a gr8 wknd 🙂

Had a good couple of days off after hols and keep comin on here and posting a bit at a time but not over doin it very concious of burning myself out

It does concern me that many of us go through the raw emotions on here days when we are full of motivation and inspiration then other days when we really struggle and wonder what it's all bout but each recovery is different and we're still here to fight another day

Relapsing has been on my mind a bit over the last few days as a good friend relapsed whilst was away had a feeling it was goin to happen before I went away but felt powerless to help , I think it would be inappropriate to post on another diary ur gut feeling that they should be careful as u cud see a slip comin up I feel all u can do is offer that support in a positive manner and hope the individual comes through

When I had my big wobble a couple of months back I mentioned that I came very close to relapsing , as I av said before I only use my mobile and don't av blocks in place so if I want to gamble I can blocking helps but in my view if I want to gamble I will no matter how much blocks are there , I still av an online account which is active I suppose I should exclude but again in my eyes there's that many I cud easily set a new one up , anyhow I logged on picked a horse placed a bet only for it to decline as my bank card had expired for me this was a sign so I logged off logged on to gamcare and haven't looked back

My point is I am fortunately gamble free now for 8 months but does that make me any different to someone who stopped the same time as me but relapsed in between , in my eyes no it doesn't in some ways it can make them stronger

Not gambling for me is all about been mentally strong facing up to problems in life and at times they can get so tough but then who is anyone to judge if a relapse happens esp when the realisation sets in and they find that strength to come back fighting

I know many of us count days weeks and months which I know it can help as it sets us targets a goal to reach but we're all the same really which is has only good as our last gamble

So for anyone who has relapsed or ever does its not the end it's not a disaster it will make u strong to go on and contain this evil disease that lies with in us

Hi Castle, what a powerful last post from you my friend, and so so true, each word struck a chord with me.

8 months is a fantastic achievement, massive well done to you.

I sure learnt a salt lesson with my last relapse, I blew it big time, and even although I was continueing to read diaries, I just couldn't bring myself to sign back on, but 11 days ago I knew I had to, it was my rock bottom.

I can now see and say that Im an addict, never really 'got' it before, but I do now - took me long enough 🙂

Thanks for your post on mine, its good to be back among like minded friends who understand me and know the feelings we endure,

Have a great weekend friend

Cameron

Yo,

re your last post , so true my friend .

At the end of the day we are addicts , living with that addiction means that most if not all of us will relapse at one time or another . ( or come very close to it)

We all can only do our best , I do agree with you that blocks help some but at the end of the day if someone truly want to have a bet , it's out there still .

I suppose the blocks are away to give us time to take stock and pull back from making the wrong choose.

I know only taking my 10 pounds to work , has defo saved me on more than one occasion,

Anyways you have a good mate , enjoy your last couple of days off.

Shinyxxxxxxxxxx

Hey Buddy,

Thanks for the post as ever. As always your own diary makes for brilliant reading and offers food for thought. I think there are 101 ways of tackling recovery and each person will have their own little way. The key is making that way work. If it works then it's a good way.

Been a busy week for me and then I thought actually it must have been a busy couple of weeks cos it was very much blink and you miss with your holiday. It sounds as though you had a great break and I honestly think those moments are the pinnacle of our new bet free life. The beauty is we can forever go back to that pinnacle providing we make the right choice each day.

Great to see you back here on a regular basis my friend but just keep doing it on your terms.

Flagg

Just read and posted for a couple of hours , av to say I find it frustrating at times the amount of diaries started and then just give up the ghost after a few posts it just makes me wonder why , of course it's mainly down to the individual themselves and makin that commitment to it then it's down to gettin that 1st bit of support which I av to say sometimes doesn't come for one reason or another , I look back when I 1st started and the key for me was supporting others which in return got support back , I can understand that it's sometimes hard to know what to offer as support when ur in much needed desperate support urself but there's no written rules on here each to their own

Lots of questions at the moment goin through my head which is due to too much time to think , but that will be sorted tomorrow when back at work , called in yesterday and all I can say is I wish I hadn't !

Everything else all good and feeling positive

It's all up to the individual really how they want their recovery journey to pan out.

If anyone really is determined to stop then they will have plans put in place and then they will endeavour to make all the right choices for themselves.

Just like a lot of us on here!

Have a good chill-axed day!

NT