So after several starts and stops I am here again. Day 30 this time. I lost my Dad in July and am feeling very upset these days. He is in my thoughts constantly. I lost my mom 4 years back and I find it still very difficult to come to terms with that. A year back my Dad was still there and though I had lost my job things were not as bad as they are now. I have a nice well paying job now and thanks to abstinence am slowly clearing off my debts and not losing any more money to gambling. Though I feel very down I know that with abstinence things will get better. I regret not spending quality time with my Dad and it hurts a lot. Similar to how it hurt during my Mom's time. I was not gambling than but was obsessed about something else at that time. Why am I so screwed up? I have seen posts of people growing and learning as they progress with their recovery. I want to follow their example too. My parents will never come back I know and it breaks my heart thinking about it but I've got to be strong and continue with my recovery.
Hello WillDo79
I am very sorry to hear of the recent loss of your father, it must be very difficult for you at this time. Naturally such a great loss will have an impact on your life in many ways. It helps to remember that you have managed really well with your recovery up to the point of the death of your father. I would also say its important to realise that you may need some time to grieve your loss and not beat yourself up too much. You may find it's good to talk about your feelings surrounding your bereavement and it may help you to keep things on track a little bit better.
You can call and talk to an HelpLine adviser from 8am-midnight, 7 days a week for some support with your current relapse on Tel Freephone: 0808 8020 133
You can also contact the BACP for support in your bereavement. (British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapist) Telephone: Customer Services: 01455 88330001455 883300 Monday-Friday, from 9.00am until 5pm
All the very best with your recovery
Cade
Thank you Cade. Today Oct 1, is my Day 1 again. Sadly, I had relapsed numerous times since my last post including yesterday. Last time I was able to stay 30 days free. So am taking this as an inspiration. The roadblocks that I had put in place helped in reducing the loss. Will continue my fight against the urges to gamble by tightening the roadblocks following the time-money-access principle.
WillDo79 wrote:
Thank you Cade. Today Oct 1, is my Day 1 again. Sadly, I had relapsed numerous times since my last post including yesterday. Last time I was able to stay 30 days free. So am taking this as an inspiration. The roadblocks that I had put in place helped in reducing the loss. Will continue my fight against the urges to gamble by tightening the roadblocks following the time-money-access principle.
Welcome back. hope you put in place as many tools from the tool kit as you can.
My biggest lesson was to not stop using them when i thought i was 'cured'. I keep using them now.
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