It took me a long time to realise I had a problem. Longer still to do anything about it. I tried to stop a few times but it wasn't until I looked for help from the NHS website and got counselling I was able to go more than a couple of weeks without gambling.
I wasn't very committed to it to start with. My girlfriend was worried that I was doing therapy but not actually stopping. After about 3 sessions I felt I had to actually put more effort into stopping. I excluded from all my gambling websites where I played for 5 years. One website didn't have any controls so I changed the password and made it hard to remember. So my online gambling stopped 24th July 2024. I still went to the bookies once and bought a lottery ticket. I felt this was cheating even though it wasn't my usual gambling activity. After these 2 bets I haven't put a penny on gambling since 3rd August 2024.
I found it hard because I spent so long each day gambling before. It was boring and I felt like I had given up on my dreams. My therapist said this was common. It got worse so I started taking anti depressants. After a couple of months things have improved dramatically. I suddenly have more money. I have to reward myself for doing so well. So I have invested in my running. Bought new trainers and clothes. I usually would have not had the money to do this before. I used to be broke halfway through the month about 90% of the months. I have run faster and further than I have done before.
I regularly keep diaries to keep a track of my spending and how much I gamble. For months I had almost no money but since I stopped online gambling I have more control over my finances. I was never in serious debt but I would regularly have to borrow off my mum or girlfriend to get through the month. Now I am looking forward to Christmas and have very few worries about being able to afford it.
It is something I have had to work hard at. Pressing buttons on a mouse and gambling is so easy. I hope I never go back to gambling because my life is so much better without it.
I agree. Through counselling I was able to understand the reasons why I gambled and understand that it was doing me no good long term.
Well done mate 100 plus days is a great achievement i too have have had gambling issues for the past 18 years am on day 504 gamble free and my life is a million times better i have not only paid my debt off i have some savings and bought quite abit of stuff which needed replacing i actually believe why didnt i start this process earlier i went Ga on and off has i personally didnt fit in however what worked for me was using the services on here i realised what my triggers were and it was the first time i wanted to make these changes and that was to listen to the people, i also learnt the addiction isnt like any other and it only take 1 bet to turn my life upside down im glad you are seeing the benefits early on and it will help to push your drive to remain gamble free
Thanks @tazman. 100+ days does feel like a big achievement. Congrats on your 500+ days. I too am feeling why did it take me so long to start. I guess I wasn't ready to properly stop. Good luck with your gamble free journey too.
Yesterday was 200 days and it didn't feel like a success. I guess I will always doubt whether I can stay gamble free. Eventually I tried to work out what was bothering me about it.
I wrote some pros and cons of my next steps as I was taught in CBT. I feel like I have a clearer view on what I want to do next which is work on my programming skills.
With gambling it always felt like I was working towards a goal even though I wasn't successful. Recently I have felt a little aimless. So I have set myself new healthier goals.
I had already set myself running goals and have been working towards them but I have been feeling its not enough. I think this is the addiction. Nothing ever feels like enough. When I reached some running goals they didn't feel important. I didn't get the sense of achievement I was hoping for.
I don't feel like celebrating 200 days. But I should celebrate my wins so that I am encouraged to do another 100 days.
I'm just behind you on 178 days. I feel alot like you, like I'm missing something but I do still feel resolved in getting through this. I'm just not very patient. I've been keeping myself busy but the thoughts of gambling are still there. Its almost like a grief.
Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you as 200 days is a huge success! Celebrate those wins and keep going.
Clover
@sj6mi7e8hx Thanks clover I am continuing to celebrate the wins. Good luck in your gamble free journey
Thats amazing mate keep it up am on day 622 i still get tested from time to time i guess it human nature however with block in place and making it difficult for myself i have found other things to do in the meantime i realised i will never be cured from this illness and the only way forward is to keep my brain occupied and if i ever get an urgue i can spend my time on this forum their no majic cure and after my last relapse i just dont want to experience those feelings again
@tazman Thanks for your support.
233 days today
I have also been looking for ways to keep myself occupied. I am due to run my first marathon in April. I have been looking for work too.
I don't want to let myself relapse. I have worked very hard to get to this point and I would be devastated. I think that keeps me thinking about it.
Also all the lying I used to do when I was supposedly quitting before. I tried quitting but my heart wasn't in it and I never lasted more than a few weeks before. Then I would lie about where money was coming and going from. It was too painful to go through again.
I'm almost certain my partner would leave me if I relapsed so that scares me too. She helped me stop after 25 years.
On the positive side I can now talk to people about gambling and that I quit over 6 months ago and feel some pride. Before I would feel embarrassed that it took so long to stop or guilty that I wasn't telling the whole truth about my gambling.
I'm very happy that I haven't had to borrow money for the whole 233 days. Some of the happiest days of my whole adult life.
376 days today.
Passed the GF year mark. It seems to be getting easier not to gamble. I still worry about money and my future being unemployed but I don't feel like there's any use trying to win money when I know the odds are stacked against me.
I have now run my first 3 marathons. I don't think this would have been possible if I still gambled. I'm pleased that I have been able to achieve some of the goals I set myself.
Me and my partner went on our first proper holiday together. I was anxious about the trip because so many other trips have been ruined by me gambling.
I also paid for a family meal for 7 of us to celebrate the year GF. I felt good that I was able to do so.
Mostly very good but I still feel upset about the money I wasted and how it has affected my job prospects. I don't know how to go into a job interview and say I spent most of the last 3 decades jobless and feel good about my chances.
So there's still a lot of work to do but its been the best year for a long time.
Mate i feel very similar to u 2+ years bet free alot has changed due to the losses the losses still haunt me today it doesnt help my friends and family have achieved alot now that i understand if i simply didnt gamble my life would have been completely different this is something i will struggle with however i do know in few years by carring on gamble free journey it will get to a stage where i am comfortable leaving the past in the past so i need to be comitted not falling back into my previous steps
@tazman Thanks.
I never want to retrace my steps back into gambling. Well done on 2+ years. My partner is keen to remind me that I was gambling for a long time and I shouldn't expect instant results when finding something to do that I enjoy.
Thanx mate i really appreciate it am still learning and im not taking the addiction for granted i still have alot to learn i use to think if i got time behind me that was it so am doing what i can do to keep myself gamble free so far it seems like on easy mode if it wasent for my major relapse after covid i would have slacked off along time ago
484 days today.
Tempted to watch online poker today. Came to GamCare instead.
Been a frustrating few weeks with covid and a back problem. Not much to do but sit around at home. Fortunately haven't acted on any urges to get around my blocks.
Still no job. Not much prospect of getting one when I can hardly sit down and concentrate for more than an hour or so.
But still better than losing all my money.
Good luck all with your G/f journey.
505 days today
Been a positive few days. Got the Christmas presents I wanted for people. Just a couple of last minutes things to get.
Feel more relaxed than last Christmas. Spent less. Last year I made a big deal out of trying to make up for past problems at Christmas time.
Nearly finished all my running goals. Just 1 last event. Have to walk it because I hurt my back. I didn't quite achieve the times I wanted but I did set personal bests so can't complain.
The goals with not gambling remain the same. But it feels easier. Next year I hope to work towards getting a job. 2025 is set to be my first full calendar year without gambling since I was a teenager. I hope 2026 is my second.
Good luck with your gamble free journey
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
