Regaining control after slip

Well, new day, new month and life is feeling good. There is a nagging doubt in my head that something is going to go wrong, as I havent felt this content in years. Not just the gambling, but seems like things are finally coming together, lets hope bad news isnt around the corner!! Maybe my years of cheating, lying, gambling have made me a little paranoid, but I am ever so determined to beat this d**n evil for good and make those people who used to be proud, proud again.

Weekend was relatively quiet, no urges on the gamblign front, which for me is the main thing. Played football on Saturday, great game of football, even though we lost by the odd goal it was a real good game. Legs were sore yesterday, but another game this evening to loosen those ageing muscles! Halloween was great yesterday, kids had a blast.

I was carving pumpkins before 9am yesterday, and that is definately something I wouldnt have had time to do when I was my OLD selfish person. I would either have been rueing the massive losses of the previous day, thinking where to get money for the next bet, or, thinking how I can turn yesterdays winnings into millions of pounds (that was extremely rare by the way!!).

How clouded the judgement was, UNBELIEVABLE, wish I realised this 1,2,3 years ago and things wouldnt be half as bad. The good thing is, I HAVE A PROBLEM and I REALISE IT.

I hope everyone here has a gamble free day, and continue to live the lives you deserve..

Onto day 74, I really hope that I never ever return to that s**t life I had 74 days ago, what a waste. I had some spare cash last week and without a doubt, that would have been gambling money in the past but I would like to spruce up my wardrobe (It really needs it!!!). Instead, I gave the money to my wife for her and my daughter to go shopping with, it wasnt a fortune but it felt great, and I mean great, to see the smile on their faces, BEAUTIFUL.....

Take Care

Blues

Blues,

Hope your ok mate, what a nice post you put, life without gambling is great, your on day 74 and going strong.

It was moving to read that you have put a smile on your wife and daughters faces mate, good on you, and your right it is a beautiful feeling seeing your loved ones happy.

A big high five goes to you mate, you have always been there for me from day 1 and we are going strong mate.

Take care

thanks for your support blues...great last post...its amazin like you said how in the past our behaviour was oblivious to the real outside world....we notice the nicer things in life these days...onwards we go,we can do this 😉

Blues,

How is it going mate? thanks again for dropping by on my diary.

Where is your entry today? your too busy helping every 1 else, you forgot about yourself 😉

Keep on going mate, your doing excellent.

Hi Blues,

Thank you for posting on my diary mate. I always appreciate your words and support.

I am very happy for you mate. You are sounding positive and you have a great outlook on life. It is only natural to think that something will go wrong after the addiction we are battling. I feel the same because with the gambling we probably had good weeks and bad weeks and we probably look at our progress and think it is too good to be true that we are having good weeks in abundance now. It is probably something we will have to get used to in time mate but just keep telling yourself that you deserve all the good weeks because you really do - you have been through so much with this evil addiction and it is time for some of the good stuff to reward your hard work in overcoming this addiction.

Sounds like you had a great Halloween too mate - good for you! It really opens your eyes what we have missed out on over the years with this evil addiction hanging over us doesn't it?

Many, many congratulations on Day 74 Blues. You are doing so well and you are getting stronger and more positive every time I read your diary.

Have a fantastic gamble-free week mate.

Take care,

Micky D

Hi, onto day 76 now and nothing to report on the gambling front I am pleased to say. No urges, watched the Inter-Spurs game last night and really wish Bale was English!!! That bloke is on fire at the minute and he's only 21!!! Made Maicon look about as fast as me on the pitch ha!

Legs really sore after mondays game, think my ageing body is telling me to take a break but we only have 9 for tonights game so stepping in to make the 10. Free weekend for 11 aside this week so a well deserved rest after tonight I think and a few beverages along the way.

As I said, no urge to gamble or give my money away, kids are happy, wife is happy, debt collectors are happy (lol!), and i'm happy. Would love to be debt free, would love to go on holiday, would love a new car, but really once my immediate family is happy, then that'll do for me. Run up to Xmas has started now that Halloween is over, and looking forward to seeing the kids faces on christmas morning, a priceless experience that we probably dont appreciate (like most things) until its too late.

Anyway, enough babbling, really hope you all have a gamble free day and thanks so much for your support over the last few months, its been great.

534pm tomorrow, it will be 11 weeks since I was one of two people in that bookies, rain outside, knowing that I was probably going to lose my family. Believe me, that moment is a raw as it was 11 weeks ago and I hope I never forget how it felt because as long as I can remember it vividly, I will not gamble again

Take care ex-gamblers

Blues

double post stupid phone sorry mate !!!

thats great that you still have that memory of 11 weeks ago blues...ive still got my betting slip (albeit faded rapidly) in my wallet but you can still see the time reminder on it to spur me on....you were spot on about the run up to christmas mate....i dont even know if i will be invited round on that day far less seeing their priceless faces coming down the stairs....the damages and scars of the evil that is gambling mate 🙁 anyways sorry didnt want to dampen spirits keep it going my friend we CAN do this 😉

hi blues,

thanks for stopping by on my diary.

I am so happy to see things on the up for you - you are a lucky man with a great family, and their future is in your hands - its great to see how much things have improved over the last 11+ weeks for you, and that is all down to a new positive determined attitude from you - you can do this, and you will - there is too much at stake to lose, so keep going, you are worth so much more than what gambling has tried to rob you of.

tommi

Blues,

Great to hear from you mate, thanks for your continued support.

Wow 11 weeks tommorow buddy, that deserves a virtual pint ( cheers ).

Seeing your family really happy with the new you must be priceless mate, your doing them so proud. Also your doing yourself proud mate, you deserve the full credit, 11 weeks keeping this evil at bay is a tremendous effort.

Bale, what a player mate, I hope we ( united ) sign him next year, he is something special.

Take care mate.

blues...fantastic comparison post on my diary mate....we were so alike...i like you HAD to bet on EVERY race....utter madness looking back....i used to do the point to point circuits and HAD to bet on EVERY race as well...i used to go with my uncle who would have ONE bet (usually a winner) and walk away wi money in his pocket...more often than not i would be miserable on sometimes a 2 or 3 hour drive home.....it was all about discipline i just could never win cause i couldnt stop...never a truer statement for me mate...keep up your excellent work mate,we can do this 😉

Hi Blues... your doing just fine.. well done. Thanks for your support.. S.A

This is from the first page of my diary (12th August 2010, I think)

"Further 60 lost today, feel like s**t...fresh start tomorrow? maybe some of us are not strong enough to beat it and may get used to having zero cash and zero life"

Makes me realise how far I have come in my recovery. The week following this post, was absolutely dreadful and is still fresh in the mind. As I said before, good to read snippets out of your own diary to make you realise how far you have come.

Football tonight, then nice family weekend planned, might even get a few scoops in along the way.

Onto day 78, Take care and hope you have a gamble free weekend

Blues

Blues,

I can totally relate to you mate, sometimes I read the first couple of entries and remember the feelings and think, 'god i never want to go back to those days '.

Hope you have a lovely weekend with your family mate, well done on the excellent progress, keep on going.

Take care and have a good weekend mate.

Hi Blues,

Thanks for posting on my diary mate - always appreciate your time and support.

That post you put up there mate shows how far you have come. It is kinda eerie to look back at it isn't it? But, this should make you very proud of your achievement mate.

You are in a much better place now and it really comes through with the positivity in your posts. Many congratulations!

Hope you enjoy the football tonight mate and it sets you up for a fantastic gamble-free weekend.

Many thanks again for stopping by my diary.

Take care,

Micky D